The Down Range Forum
Member Section => Prayer Requests => Topic started by: Dakotaranger on May 06, 2010, 12:15:20 PM
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I had a friend eat a gun this last tuesday. Sat is his funeral, I am pretty good friends with his (duh rough week) sister and know his mom fairly well. There are times words don't mean anything...this is one of those times. I just need wisdom when to be available, be invisible and when not Thanks
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First off, sorry for you loss...it's never easy. To answer your question is difficult also. I would let them know that you are available if needed and that you will be thinking and praying for them.
God Bless,
Richard
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Dakota,
I agree with Ellis. Let them know that you are available for whatever they might need and then wait on them.
Sorry to hear this, losing a friend is never easy and under these circumstances it's even tougher. Pray for his family and I will add you to mime.
Haz.
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DR...I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. The fact that you're already aware of the delicate way to approch these matters with his family speaks volumes about your character. You will know what to do when they need you, listen, watch and be there for them in whatever capacity you can.
Sometimes it's just the presence of a friend that matters.
Best!
timmy
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Dakota,
Sorry for your loss
Might your relationship with your friend be able to guide you here?
If he was very close to you....part of your family, like a brother, act towards his family with more of that relationship.
You might need their support as well as them needing yours.
Take care
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Sorry for your loss. My best friend of 24 years in 2005 done the same thing. I am still hurting from what happend. The best thing to do is talk to somebody. It hurts and there is no words that I can say that will help.
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Very sorry Dakota, just let them know you are there for support in any way, and let it go at that. You may find the family, or members, contact you.
Terrible when one reaches that point.
Perhaps, after a few days, maybe a week, send them a letter, and let them know your thinking and praying for them..
Condolences and prayers Dakota, this is a very tough thing to go through.
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DR, I am so sorry to hear of this. By all means talk with someone who is not involved to help keep the right perspective on this.
It will hurt for a long time, but you are the one to find your way past the pain and celebrate the person for who they were for you.
My prayers are with you.
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Dakota - So sorry to hear this. It is a good thing to not understand why or how it could be that bad, because the moment any of us fully understands we will be doing it our selves.
Two things I was taught in my training and continuing ed is
#1. Say your sorry and shut up! More often than not we feel we must make someone feel better, and all we do is screw it up by sticking our foot in our mouth;
#2. When words won't do, create or participate in a tradition ... Funerals
Glad you went to the funeral, and I'll shut up now ... Sorry.
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sorry to hear this DR
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That is sad, I have always found being very open and honest the best answer. Something like, " Mam, I don't know what to say about your son or brother leaving us, but I do know that I am willing to help in any way I can, food, mow the grass, go to the store for you, just let me know. " an " I miss him too " won't hurt.
Then get on with your own healing.
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Hate to hear this, DR....sad and painful to lose a friend, in any manner.
I've no advice to give better than what's been said already.
I will keep you and his family in my prayers.
Peg
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DR, the death of a friend is never easy and there probably aren't any "right" words to say. Sometimes all you can give is a shoulder or a hugg. You're in my prayers.
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So sorry to hear about your friend, DR. Can't really add to what has already been said, just know my prayers are with you and his family. If you need to talk send me a PM and I'll give you a call.
Take care my friend.
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So sorry for your loss. Just be there for the family and they'll appreciate it.
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Sorry to hear that, dude.
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Dakota, I'm sorry for your loss. Please know that any and all of us here are there for you if you need anything, just as you are there for your friend's family.
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Thanks guys. I was out of town when I got the word. I think it meant alot to Colleen that I would leave my family obligations to come back for the funeral. As much as I cared for her brother, I she means a whole lot more. Unforuneately I know no matter what they do or try to do this week will never end. Time may lesson the intensitity
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Dakota,
Sorry to hear of the loss of your friend. I'm never good with finding the right words at times like this. Speaking from experience, people don't always know what to say or do, but mean well even though sometimes what they say is difficult to comprehend. The family and those closest to him are on autopilot. The week will end for them, and life will go on, though it may not seem like it. Letting them know you are there for them is good. Don't be surprised if they say they don't need anything, but if you see they need, do it. There is a lot of attention focused on the survivors at this time. That attention will fade after a week or two, but the loss is still new and fresh for the family and they may very well be filled with emptiness for quite sometime. A lot of people need the comfort of their friends a few weeks, or month, 2 months or more down the road to fill the vaccuum. Time will lessen the intensity, time is a great healer, but it takes time.
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Death when it is "normal" is tough for the ones left behind..
I can't imagine what it must be like for a suicide..
I've had a couple friends give up and take their own lives and our first reaction is .. I should have ..could have ..possibly have..done something to stop it..
no you couldn't.. when they get to that point.. all the talking and being there doesn't stop it generally.. They will find a way.. Its their path..and unfortunately its their lessons to learn..
I tortured myself for weeks over it once.. finally accepted that she was going to do it..then or later... I knew it too.. talked til I was blue in the face and thought I had her "thinking" at least..
I was wrong.. she was just waiting until I was gone..
I'm so sorry.......I know how you feel... but just being a friend is the best thing you can be now..