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Member Section => Down Range Cafe => Topic started by: TAB on November 05, 2010, 06:18:28 PM

Title: You just can't make this stuff up.
Post by: TAB on November 05, 2010, 06:18:28 PM
http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/west-virgi...d-police-report (http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/west-virginia/woman-utters-line-never-previously-recorded-police-report)


Quote
Meet Melissa Lee Williams. The West Virginia woman, 41, is facing assault and weapons charges after allegedly waving a knife at two men who declined her demands to engage in sexual conduct at a West Virginia motor inn.

The October 22 incident is detailed in an amusing/gross Jackson County Sheriff’s Department report excerpted here.

According to investigators, Williams--who lives four doors down from her estranged husband at the 77 Motor Inn--showed up at his door and asked Danny Williams and another man to “eat my pussy.” At this point, Williams, pictured in the mug shot at right, “commenced to undress herself,” reported Deputy Ross Mellinger.

While Danny Williams “declined said invitation,” the other man, Adam Watson, told cops that he “agreed to perform at her request.” However, as Watson approached Williams, “he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams.” Watson, understandably, “declined to proceed any further.”

This is when Melissa Williams allegedly “produced a lock-back folding knife,” opened it, and pointed the weapon at her estranged husband. She then reportedly uttered a line never before memorialized in a police report: “Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your f....k throat.”

When Deputy Mellinger arrived on the scene he observed Williams--who, like the two men, appeared to be intoxicated--nude from the waist down. After pocketing a knife that was on the coffee table in front of Williams, Mellinger arrested her for domestic assault and brandishing a deadly weapon.

Williams, who was released from jail after posting $3000 bond, is next due in Jackson County Magistrate Court on February 16.


(http://i.cdn.turner.com/dr/teg/tsg/release/sites/default/files/assets/melissaleewilliamsmugshot.jpg)
Title: Re: You just can't make this stuff up.
Post by: Pathfinder on November 05, 2010, 06:39:36 PM
TAB, I think you dun gone and found your new av-e-tar!!!!
Title: Re: You just can't make this stuff up.
Post by: TAB on November 05, 2010, 06:42:09 PM
TAB, I think you dun gone and found your new av-e-tar!!!!


once sec let me chang it...


edit.... hmmm

http://www.downrange.tv/forum/index.php?topic=14506.0


all better now.
Title: Re: You just can't make this stuff up.
Post by: twyacht on November 05, 2010, 06:55:07 PM
I'm sure by next Halloween, this tale will be in the theaters...

 :P

I wonder if she set fire to the adjoining trailer park first? ::)
Title: Re: You just can't make this stuff up.
Post by: Rastus on November 05, 2010, 07:32:21 PM
..........I wonder if she set fire to the adjoining trailer park first? ::)

Naw.  She's running for Minority Leader of the U.S. House of Representatives.
Title: Re: You just can't make this stuff up.
Post by: tt11758 on November 05, 2010, 08:44:36 PM
(http://i.cdn.turner.com/dr/teg/tsg/release/sites/default/files/assets/melissaleewilliamsmugshot.jpg)

WHOA!!!  THAT dog don't hunt!!!
Title: Re: You just can't make this stuff up.
Post by: PegLeg45 on November 05, 2010, 09:23:13 PM
DAMN!   :-X

(That's all I got on this one, just: DAMN!)
Title: Re: You just can't make this stuff up.
Post by: Big Frank on November 05, 2010, 10:11:35 PM
"horrible vaginal odor"  :)  That's 3 words you don't usually see together.
Title: Re: You just can't make this stuff up.
Post by: cookie62 on November 05, 2010, 10:13:07 PM
"horrible vaginal odor"  :)  That's 3 words you don't usually see together.


I hope I never have to say them together :o
Title: Re: You just can't make this stuff up.
Post by: PegLeg45 on November 05, 2010, 11:05:07 PM
Quote
“Somebody is going to eat my p#$$y or I’m going to cut your f....k throat.”

Now that I have my wits about me, these were the words of doom that sorta had my brain in spasms.
Title: Re: You just can't make this stuff up.
Post by: TAB on November 05, 2010, 11:50:26 PM
I told you guys, you can't make this shit up.
Title: Re: You just can't make this stuff up.
Post by: fightingquaker13 on November 06, 2010, 12:07:55 AM
  :o :o :o :o
FQ13

Title: Re: You just can't make this stuff up.
Post by: billt on November 06, 2010, 05:31:05 AM
It would appear that all of the stray dogs in the neighborhood also had enough sense to head elsewhere to sniff.... :o   Bill T.
Title: Re: You just can't make this stuff up.
Post by: seeker_two on November 06, 2010, 06:41:11 AM
Quote
“Somebody is going to eat my p#$$y or I’m going to cut your f....k throat.”


I'll take "Throat Cutting" for $100, Alex......
Title: Re: You just can't make this stuff up.
Post by: PegLeg45 on November 06, 2010, 03:35:04 PM
I'll take "Throat Cutting" for $100, Alex......

Yeah, and she can use my own knife...........   :-X  :-X
Title: Re: You just can't make this stuff up.
Post by: billt on November 06, 2010, 04:52:10 PM
1.) West Virginia

2.) Living at a motel with her "estranged" ex husband

3.) Drunk

4.) Nude from the waist down

5.) Brandishing knife

6.) Demands to "Have her pussy eaten"

7.) No one complies

8.) Woman is arrested after stinking up the joint

West Virginia state slogan is...................."Wild and Wonderful"
(was replaced by "Open for Business" before being changed back; also on its license plate as "Wild, Wonderful")
(formerly) Almost Heaven


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_U.S._state_slogans

"Wild" yes, but I'm not so sure about "Wonderful"? Or for that matter "Almost Heaven". Sure sounds like Hell to me!   Bill T.
Title: Re: You just can't make this stuff up.
Post by: fightingquaker13 on November 06, 2010, 08:40:02 PM
1"Wild" yes, but I'm not so sure about "Wonderful"? Or for that matter "Almost Heaven".    Bill T.
I think the "almost heaven" bit is because you're one horny, drunk, knife wielding piece of trailer trash away from the great hereafter (or at least the Appalachian ER). ;D
FQ13 who is paddling as fast as he can
Title: Re: You just can't make this stuff up.
Post by: Badgersmilk on November 06, 2010, 09:43:15 PM
  "ASSault with deadly intent"?