The Down Range Forum
Member Section => Down Range Cafe => Topic started by: sledgemeister on May 13, 2012, 12:24:10 AM
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read the reviews!
http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B000KKNQBK/ref=cm_cr_pr_btm_link_2/280-6006471-0924758?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0&pageNumber=2
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FTA Reviews:
"I Blacked Out From The Pain."..... :o
Those reviews are priceless....Dumb Ass's....But still 5 stars.....
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That was hysterical!! Thank you!
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kind of like sitting down in wet grass
I only remember feeling that I was running ways from a fire reaching between my legs, I don't remember the fall into cement, I don't remember landing arse first into the water butt, I do remember being lifted out of the water and screaming to be put back in.
I don't claim to be a clever person but can you imaging my surprise when after counting to 200 i felt a burning desire to rip off my plums and place them in liquid nitrogen.
The first mistake was letting the missus get involved in the process. She joined me in the shower with the tube of Veet, put a liberal amount in her hand and proceeded to cover not only my pubis overgrowth but also my nads and old boy. Five minutes later I was in complete agony and experiencing a burning sensation that could not have been worse had I fired up the wok-ring on the gas hob and lowered myself slowly onto it.
The chemical reaction was akin to a weapons test using thermite and my once glorious topiary slid off in one clean section, burnt through the floor and into my living room where my unsuspecting wife thought she was being attacked by a smouldering ferret.
And the grand winner:
3 hours 45 minutes later I decided to get up off the landing carpet, go shower and inspect the results... balanced on one leg in the shower holding a shaving mirror between my legs, and pushing my throbbing nads to one side with the toilet brush, I could see what I can only describe as a Gollum's head tortured and battered by a Taliban interrogation unit, peering up at me through a single screwed up puffy eye, looking pretty sorry for itself. On closer inspection my two previously furry love-eggs had absconded deep into my body for protection leaving my somewhat forlorn looking scrotum hanging there, like a pelican's over-filled neck pouch which had been flogged with a barbed wire paddle.
This is priceless stuff right here, I tell ya what...... ;D ;D ;D ;D
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My thoughts in reading the comments were to wonder if they are typical of how the English write?
They were well written and demonstrate where the English get the reputation for a dry sense of humor.
I noticed good grammar and no use of vulgarity or what would appear to me to even be crude language....though Gentleman's Bits might be raw language in Brittan.
I guess they would not post what would be the same observations written by the average American customer.
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And the grand winner:
This is priceless stuff right here, I tell ya what...... ;D ;D ;D ;D
I had to stop reading the OP, cuz I was laughing too hard, was worried I might disturb the neighbors and/or my ticker, and besides, I had work to get done. I never even made it to these, they made me start ROTFLMAO all over again.
Smouldering ferret indeed! ;D
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These Brits are serious wankers...
Lighter fluid and a Bic get the job done in no time.
Plus, when any critters run to escape the conflagration, you have a nice opportunity to beat 'em to death with a hammer.
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These Brits are serious wankers...
Lighter fluid and a Bic get the job done in no time.
Plus, when any critters run to escape the conflagration, you have a nice opportunity to beat 'em to death with a hammer.
Use of an ice pick is more sporting.
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Use of an ice pick is more sporting.
That's how real men do it....
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Use of an ice pick is more sporting.
There are variations. An ice pick IS more sporting. Using your weakside hand offers additional opportunities. Blindfolded just going with feel can develop amazing skill levels.
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Chopsticks, Mr. Miyagi, chopsticks.