The Down Range Forum
Member Section => Down Range Cafe => Topic started by: fightingquaker13 on October 05, 2012, 04:41:27 PM
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Lord I have sunk low. As you know, I do legal research. This week, I got sent into the field for the first time. To blend in, and because, hey why not, I got out my red Hawaiian shirt and Raybans (no, the boss, didn't spring for the Ferrari, but I did carry the Hi-Power rather than the Glock as an homage ;D). Anyhoo, I was doing legal research on a local ordinance that requires dumpsters to be fenced. Generally, I research case law and the like. However, my boss is going for "selective enforcement' against his client who is a PITA to the mayor, so I was sent out on a tour of dumpsters in Lake Worth to photograph the unfenced in ones and then see how many had been cited for violations. If the pics weren't proprietary, I'd post them, it would be a great boon to the tourist industry. God, what a shat hole that town is! Gays, geriatrics, illegal immigrants, and a whole lot of folks who don't seem to grasp that the trash goes INTO the dumpster. OTOH, the food was good, because those Mexicans can cook good for cheap, and I billed $100 an hour. ;) Still, yikes! Next time I want the case of the cheating wife who's into lesbian S@M threesomes. ;D
FQ13
PS Did you know people actually get pissed when you take pictures of their dumpsters? I got the cops called on me. I actually had to show my permit for the first time ever. The cop and I had a good laugh over that. She was cute too, but unfortuneately married.
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http://www.imfdb.org/wiki/Magnum_P.I.
Magnum carried a 1911
But that's beside the point.
Any of you Fla members, I will pay for a genuine picture of FQ in his Magnum PI shirt being rousted for suspicious Dumpster photography !
ROFLMAO ! ;D
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Thus the Hi-power. Its the closest I had. ;)
FQ13 As for pictures.....those will cost cost you ;).
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Book-em Quake-O'
(hey if we're stretching 1911/Hi-P - I can tie back to Hawaii that way... hmmm?)
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Book-em Quake-O'
(hey if we're stretching 1911/Hi-P - I can tie back to Hawaii that way... hmmm?)
That's a riot ! ;D
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Book-em Quake-O'
(hey if we're stretching 1911/Hi-P - I can tie back to Hawaii that way... hmmm?)
Oh well, I can't comment on the particulars. Let's just say that the last few days were an object lesson in why idiots should be prohibited from A) holding political office and B) hiring lawyers. Idiot one, vs idiot two, and both are going to get screwed. My boss is going to make money, I banked close to $1500, and all of that money could have been saved if the primaries in the case hadn't been idiots. I mean seriously. I was skulking around ally ways, I got the cops called on me (albeit a cute one who liked my Hi-Power), a reputable law firm is researching dumpster law, and all of this because two morons couldn't just go out to the playground and beat the snot out of each other like the ten year olds they are. ::)
FQ13 Who will take the money (and belive it or not, there might be more in this case), but seriously? This is how mayors and business owners behave? They both need to be paddled and sent to the corner (not our corner, but a corner maintained by strict catholic nuns who serve Michelle Obama approved school lunches and have naked pictures of Rosie O'Donnel on the walls). ::)
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Oh well, I can't comment on the particulars. Let's just say that the last few days were an object lesson in why idiots should be prohibited from A) holding political office and B) hiring lawyers. Idiot one, vs idiot two, and both are going to get screwed. My boss is going to make money, I banked close to $1500, and all of that money could have been saved if the primaries in the case hadn't been idiots. I mean seriously. I was skulking around ally ways, I got the cops called on me (albeit a cute one who liked my Hi-Power), a reputable law firm is researching dumpster law, and all of this because two morons couldn't just go out to the playground and beat the snot out of each other like the ten year olds they are. ::)
FQ13 Who will take the money (and belive it or not, there might be more in this case), but seriously? This is how mayors and business owners behave? They both need to be paddled and sent to the corner (not our corner, but a corner maintained by strict catholic nuns who serve Michelle Obama approved school lunches and have naked pictures of Rosie O'Donnel on the walls). ::)
Sounds like Philw's man cave!
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I was good until FQ's last sentence. Then I puked a little in my mouth. (Funny it tasted just like those approved school lunches.)
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Oh well, I can't comment on the particulars. Let's just say that the last few days were an object lesson in why idiots should be prohibited from A) holding political office and B) hiring lawyers. Idiot one, vs idiot two, and both are going to get screwed. My boss is going to make money, I banked close to $1500, and all of that money could have been saved if the primaries in the case hadn't been idiots. I mean seriously. I was skulking around ally ways, I got the cops called on me (albeit a cute one who liked my Hi-Power), a reputable law firm is researching dumpster law, and all of this because two morons couldn't just go out to the playground and beat the snot out of each other like the ten year olds they are. ::)
FQ13 Who will take the money (and belive it or not, there might be more in this case), but seriously? This is how mayors and business owners behave? They both need to be paddled and sent to the corner (not our corner, but a corner maintained by strict catholic nuns who serve Michelle Obama approved school lunches and have naked pictures of Rosie O'Donnel on the walls). ::)
You are Hitler material.
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Lets see, Naked Rosie, Gas chamber, gas chamber naked Rosie ?
Give me Zyclon for 1000 Alex !
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Lets see, Naked Rosie, Gas chamber, gas chamber naked Rosie ?
Give me Zyclon for 1000 Alex !
If you knew either of the A-holes in this case (and God I wish I could give you the back story, but its privileged) you would either die laughing, or shoot yourself in the head before it came to that. Florida: land of the free, home of the bat shit crazy. ;D
FQ13 Just for pespective, a member of the Boyton Beach City council is involved in a criminal/civil case for texting a a naked picture of herself to a former colleauge who is now a lobbyist. She claims he was blackmailing her, he says she was just a slut. The mayor (a friend of the lobbyist) is calling for her resignation, she wants them both up on charges. Bienviendos a Florida ::). That's child's play compared to this one. Me, I'm drinking good beer tonight and LMAO!
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If you knew either of the A-holes in this case (and God I wish I could give you the back story, but its privileged) you would either die laughing, or shoot yourself in the head before it came to that. Florida: land of the free, home of the bat shit crazy. ;D
FQ13 Just for pespective, a member of the Boyton Beach City council is involved in a criminal/civil case for texting a a naked picture of herself to a former colleauge who is now a lobbyist. She claims he was blackmailing her, he says she was just a slut. The mayor (a friend of the lobbyist) is calling for her resignation, she wants them both up on charges. Bienviendos a Florida ::). That's child's play compared to this one. Me, I'm drinking good beer tonight and LMAO!
Considering that FQ comes from a long line of Floridians I think that explains a lot.
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Considering that FQ comes from a long line of Floridians I think that explains a lot.
Sad thing is, I can't even argue with that. Its in the water.
FQ13
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FQ, PI! Is back on the case. 8)
These fools don't know when to stop. My boss is billing $$$$ an hour, I get $100 of that to do the grunt work, total bill well... (its privileged, but lets say its enough to make a sane man take a step back and settle matters), and, props to my boss, he, and the other guy's lawyer (also props), have suggested that multiple times. But these two idiots are like people in a bitter divorce, they're locked in a death spiral, and neither will let it go. This is going to hit the news if it goes much further as criminal charges might be filed. I will state for the record, in case they are and this hits the news, that I lied about the town. It ain't Lake Worth, I just used that city (which is close enough to the actual town, culturally and geographically, for government work) to protect confidentiality. Otherwise every word was true. I just offer this disclaimer so no one will accuse me of making shat up if this hits the fan, and the SO has to serve warrants and its on FOX News. I can talk about stuff only if I fuzz the details a bit, so mea culpa, but I hope you understand, its about maintaining confidentiality.
Cloak and dagger crap aside, I have never seen two dumber and more stubborn people in my life, its utterly idiotic! Its like having a duel with coach guns at 5 paces, it ain't going to end pretty for either party, and yet, off they go and all over a battle of egos, politics and a freaking dumpster ordinance!. I've got another PI assignment though, since I was so smooth at the dumpster thing. ;) Hell, for $100 an hour I ain't bitching, I just almost feel guilty about it. This time, I'll wear a suit. Anybody got a Walther PPK I can borrow? Bond, Quaker Bond. 8) Honestly, I'm not sure how many details I can share as its getting serious, but its like Marx said in the 18th Brumaire "History always repeats itself, the first time is tragedy, the second time is farce". Wise words, and we are well into the farce stage here. Bienvenidos a Florida. I'll come home, shoot an iguana, drink some rum and cash my check, but this? Its absurd.However, if me in my magnum PI red Hawiian shirt amuses you, picture me in a nice new suit with trendy shades puling up to valet parking in my F-150 with a tin of skoal in my pocket and pulling my best cultured professor voice, while spitting dip in the potted palms. ;D Damn I need that Walther, and if this wiedrness continues, I might be able to afford one. Oi vey!
FQ13
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Only the names have been changed to protect FQ' butt. ;D
and paycheck. ;D
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Let's never forget the paycheck. ;D
I'm going pseudo undercover to a charity dinner/cocktail party to talk to a witness (not cloak and dagger, its just easier in a social setting to test the waters, rather than filing a supeona and then finding out it was a waste of time and tipping your hand to the other side). Still, I have to get gussied up. The upside is not only do I get paid, but the bar tab is a billable expense. I was warned that if I manage to get laid, the hotel room and condoms are not biilable expenses however. James Bond never had that problem with nit picking bosses, damnit! ;D
FQ13
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Did you happen to see the remake of "Casino Royale"
with Bond (Daniel Craig ) getting his ass pummeled , shot , and poisoned between poker sessions ?
Watch your back between the soup and the salad . ;D
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Did you happen to see the remake of "Casino Royale"
with Bond (Daniel Craig ) getting his ass pummeled , shot , and poisoned between poker sessions ?
Watch your back between the soup and the salad . ;D
$100 an hour is not enough money for me to get groped by the drunk jewish grandmother, let alone take an ass kicking. I'm out of there long before it comes to that. I'm there for cocktails, canapes, a couple of innocent questions, an offer of a business card, and them I'm out the door and gone. See ya! I'm much more Rockford than Magnum, I don't do gun play. Hell, I usually don't leave the computer or Clerk's office at the Court House. This case has just gotten weird, even by Florida standards. Fun, but deeply, deeply weird.
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As I recall Rockford got coldcocked about once every show. ;D
Wire FQ, Florida
Have hard head, will eat on the job.
;D ROFLMAO ;D
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So, moving up from Magnum FQ to Double Oh 13, huh? ;D ;D
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I'm just hoping this hits the news so I can have the whole story, I need a good laugh ;D
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I'm just hoping this hits the news so I can have the whole story, I need a good laugh ;D
Sadly you won't. The idiot's settled today (which they could have done two weeks and probably $20 thousand ago each ::)). This deprives me of an opportunity to go to a swank reception and drink on my boss's tab, but I am happy. It was getting beyond stupid, and my boss, being a good guy, gave me two hours worth of pay for doing nothing, as he knew I was counting on the job (the two bills was probably cheaper than my bar tab would have been, as he knows I like good scotch and cognac when someone else is paying ;)). I almost have enough to buy my AK. God willing and the creak don't rise, I'll have a commie brother for my AR. Anyway, 00-13 is out of business and I can go back to just doing office based research, no BS required.God, only in Florida. I really wish I could tell this story Magoo, as I promise you would either be ROFL, or banging your head against the wall.
FQ
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You should look into getting your PI license then you could get a grungy office, a secratary with big boobs, and do this kind of thing on a regular basis. :D