The Down Range Forum
Member Section => Down Range Cafe => Topic started by: jaybet on November 29, 2012, 10:46:12 AM
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I borrowed this from another Forum I go on. It's not 100% and it's not brain surgery, but it's somewhat relevant.
I'm one of those bad Americans. I'm Your Worst Nightmare. I like big cars, big cigars and big breasts
without artificial ingredients. I believe the money I make belongs to me
and my family, not to some mid-level bureaucrat with a bad comb-over who
wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies. I don't care
about appearing compassionate. I know that playing with guns doesn't make
you a killer.
I believe it's called "The Boy Scouts" for a reason. I don't think being a
minority makes you noble or victimized. I don't care if you call me a
racist, a homophobe or a misogynist. I am not tolerant of others just
because they are different. I don't celebrate Kwanzaa. I believe that if
you are selling me a Big Mac, you do it in English.
I don't use the excuse, "it's for the children" as a shield for socialist opinions or actions. I
believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T or
Marilyn Manson sang. I think that being a student doesn't give you any
more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. I don't want to eat or
drink anything with the words light, lite or fat-free on the package. I
believe everyone has a right to pray to their own God or gods. My heroes
include Ronald Reagan, John Wayne, and whoever canceled "Dr. Quinn,
Medicine Woman." I know wrestling is fake, but I still think The Rock
could kick YOUR ass. I think global warming is junk science. I've never
owned or was a slave and I didn't wander forty years in the desert after
getting chased out of Egypt and I haven't burned any witches or been
persecuted by the Turks and NEITHER HAVE YOU, so SHUDDAP already. "Rocky
and Bullwinkle" still makes me laugh. I believe a self-righteous liberal
out to Save The Earth is more dangerous than a Play Station.
I want to know which church is it exactly where the "Reverend" Jessie Jackson
preaches. I think explosions are cool. I think cops should have Something
Better To Do than snatching Elian Gonzalez at gunpoint to ship him back to
a totalitarian dictatorship. I want somebody to explain to me exactly why
it's wrong to point out that when I watch a freeway chase, I know the
losers the police eventually pull out of the car are gonna be some
gang-banging homies or vatos. I believe that it doesn't take a village to
raise a child - it takes a parent. I think tattoos and piercings are fine
if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement.
I like good friends, good liquor and a good bowel movement first thing in
the morning. I'll admit that the only movies that ever made me cry were
"Ole Yeller" and "The Sands of Iwo Jima". I didn't realize Dr. Seuss was a
genius until I had a kid. I will not conform nor compromise just to keep
from hurting somebody's feelings. Sometimes I throw my soft drink can in
the trash, even when the recycle bin is just a few more steps. I'm neither
angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media
would like the world to believe otherwise. Yeah, I'm a Bad American.
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I borrowed this from another Forum I go on. It's not 100% and it's not brain surgery, but it's somewhat relevant.
I'm one of those bad Americans. I'm Your Worst Nightmare. I like big cars, big cigars and big breasts
without artificial ingredients. I believe the money I make belongs to me
and my family, not to some mid-level bureaucrat with a bad comb-over who
wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies. I don't care
about appearing compassionate. I know that playing with guns doesn't make
you a killer.
I believe it's called "The Boy Scouts" for a reason. I don't think being a
minority makes you noble or victimized. I don't care if you call me a
racist, a homophobe or a misogynist. I am not tolerant of others just
because they are different. I don't celebrate Kwanzaa. I believe that if
you are selling me a Big Mac, you do it in English.
I don't use the excuse, "it's for the children" as a shield for socialist opinions or actions. I
believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T or
Marilyn Manson sang. I think that being a student doesn't give you any
more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. I don't want to eat or
drink anything with the words light, lite or fat-free on the package. I
believe everyone has a right to pray to their own God or gods. My heroes
include Ronald Reagan, John Wayne, and whoever canceled "Dr. Quinn,
Medicine Woman." I know wrestling is fake, but I still think The Rock
could kick YOUR ass. I think global warming is junk science. I've never
owned or was a slave and I didn't wander forty years in the desert after
getting chased out of Egypt and I haven't burned any witches or been
persecuted by the Turks and NEITHER HAVE YOU, so SHUDDAP already. "Rocky
and Bullwinkle" still makes me laugh. I believe a self-righteous liberal
out to Save The Earth is more dangerous than a Play Station.
I want to know which church is it exactly where the "Reverend" Jessie Jackson
preaches. I think explosions are cool. I think cops should have Something
Better To Do than snatching Elian Gonzalez at gunpoint to ship him back to
a totalitarian dictatorship. I want somebody to explain to me exactly why
it's wrong to point out that when I watch a freeway chase, I know the
losers the police eventually pull out of the car are gonna be some
gang-banging homies or vatos. I believe that it doesn't take a village to
raise a child - it takes a parent. I think tattoos and piercings are fine
if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement.
I like good friends, good liquor and a good bowel movement first thing in
the morning. I'll admit that the only movies that ever made me cry were
"Ole Yeller" and "The Sands of Iwo Jima". I didn't realize Dr. Seuss was a
genius until I had a kid. I will not conform nor compromise just to keep
from hurting somebody's feelings. Sometimes I throw my soft drink can in
the trash, even when the recycle bin is just a few more steps. I'm neither
angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media
would like the world to believe otherwise. Yeah, I'm a Bad American.
Amen.
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Yep.