The Down Range Forum
Member Section => Down Range Cafe => Topic started by: TAB on March 19, 2013, 01:02:26 PM
-
Lets say you lent money to a friend you were very close too.( few thousand) with a agreement that they were going to make small payments every month. ( what they could aford) they have never made a single payment. Your friendship with this person is now gone, now way it will ever be back( money was not the reason) they don't even want you to contact them, gone. Now I don't care about the money, but no one screws me. they made a agrement and broke it. what would you do? I see basicly 3 opitions for me. 1. Let my lawyer make a call/ letter and see what happens. 2 make them fill out a w9 (might be hard to do) and 1099 them 3 small claims. granted if 1 or 2 fails it would lead to 3. No question about that. all of them sucks, I would rather just talk to them, but thats not a opition.
-
Unless you had something in writing I think you're screwed. That sucks. I always say "never do business with someone you aren't willing to sue". This is why.
-
If you don't have anything in writing with their signature all you can do is ask - verbal or writing.
If they signed something, send them a certified letter of demand and time frames you expect payment in. After that turn it over to your attorney.
If you have nothing in writing, and they say no, send him a Christmas card.
-
I've been in that situation in the past and you gain little by going after the person....even if you do get the money back.
If I want to give someone money to help them, I now look at it as a gift...if I get paid back fine...if not, I helped someone.
I've given over $10,000 to various friends and have been paid back $150...the friends who said they would pay me back and haven't have gone away...in increments...they were just uncomfortable around me even though there was no pressure for payment. Just having that debt can weigh on someone.
So, in the future if your help is not a gift, don't make it ...for sure without signed paperwork.
-
Ca verbal is legal, and I have documentaion of every thing. I have the with drawl record, dates talked we talked about it, what was said... etc etc. I don't lend money( normal I just give it, but thats rare) this was a extreme case. the sad part is I really loved this person, my feelings were very warm and plantonic. We were very close, over the last month that has changed. not many people I call friend, this was one. its also a decent chunk of the reason I am bailing from ca. Most of you know that while I can be a dick, I am also the niceist and most giving person you will ever meet. I really bend over backwards to help people. I really am a shirt off my back kind of guy. I spent thousands on this person, every thing from the shoulder to cry on, to the guy that brings home made soup and bread when you are sick. I was just going to let it go, but I can't. I am a firm beleaver in do what you say you are going to do. No body screws me,
-
When I was young my family used to spend holidays and special events with a group of several other families.
Get together for the 4th, Thanks Giving, summer vacations at a cabin one of them had at a lake..winter vacations to at the lake ice skating...just always round that crowd. Kids new each other, bunked together at the cabin...
When I was about 15 years old, it stopped...just never saw them again.
Years later I asked my mom what happened and she said that the guys went out to get more beer and when they got back my dad was upset because he thought he got short changed for a few bucks when they bought the beer. Mom said the guys didn't take it seriously and my dad got mad and never saw them again. His word, my mom said was "No one chisels me"
My dad was also a person to help...no were near what I've heard you doing, TAB, and, for sure, you have more reason to expect payment, but I could not help but thing of all my dad threw away for a few bucks....and I know it wasn't the money..it was him not liking feeling taken.
So if the debt is all that is driving this falling out, maybe it can be written off as your ex-friends Big Mistake and worked out.
-
I've been in that situation in the past and you gain little by going after the person....even if you do get the money back.
If I want to give someone money to help them, I now look at it as a gift...if I get paid back fine...if not, I helped someone.
I've given over $10,000 to various friends and have been paid back $150...the friends who said they would pay me back and haven't have gone away...in increments...they were just uncomfortable around me even though there was no pressure for payment. Just having that debt can weigh on someone.
So, in the future if your help is not a gift, don't make it ...for sure without signed paperwork.
Brother, I feel your pain on this one....... been in that boat for years......... I have got to the point that if I can't afford the loss in order to give it, I just don't...... but if I can afford it, I automatically figure it as a gift (even if I call it a loan).
If I had all the money I've given to family and a few friends I could buy a new truck....... but when I see the ways I've helped some folks that were truly in need at the time ... it was worth it.....
I guess I'd rather be the person helping than the person being helped.
-
The money has nothing to do with the falling out.
-
Ca verbal is legal, and I have documentaion of every thing.
Everything except a signature on that promissory note agreeing to terms.
All they have to do is say, "I didn't say that" or "He misunderstood" and it becomes a he said - he said.
It's probably worth it not seeing them ever again.
-
Sorry to hear about your situation. I hope you are not in the SanDiego area as it sounds like something my neice would do, only because she has done it before to someone else in a different state. If you have a good chance at winning some kind of verdict in your favor I say go for it. If not they will do the same thing again.
Mike Mc
-
The money has nothing to do with the falling out.
Sorry about that, TAB...that has to be the greatest hurt.
Take care.
-
TAB,
Sounds like you've already arrived at Option 3. Time to move out of CA anyway, so do it and forget your options. But remember the lesson about Diogenes searching in the dark for an honest man...someone stole his lamp! Would I, in your shoes, follow my advice? No way...I'm a hay-wop. I'd get even. So you shouldn't be as unwise as I am; head for AZ or WY. Good luck
-
One of my so-called friends borrowed money from me and wouldn't pay me back. She quit answering the phone and I never saw her again. It only cost me $120 to find out I couldn't trust her and I know I'll never get my money back. But if I were in your shoes I would definitely try to get the money back. There are a lot of better things you could do with it.
-
i don't care about the money. I just don't like to be screwed. I can be a real dick if I choose to be and I know how to get paid.
-
Every person I have loaned money to has had to leave something for collateral.
-
i don't care about the money. I just don't like to be screwed. I can be a real dick if I choose to be and I know how to get paid.
Yeah..... same here....... it's more about the principle and being taken advantage of than the actual dollars.
Heck, I've been screwed out of so much money by family members that at one time I was considering putting a red light on my front porch.
-
Judge Judy is one of my wifes favorite shows. It seems this very topic is the subject of most of her episodes. Party A says "I loaned", party B says " He/ she Gave me". If you have anything that even resembles a contract such as an e-mail that says i'll pay you back, you will prevail.
-
Judge Judy is one of my wifes favorite shows. It seems this very topic is the subject of most of her episodes. Party A says "I loaned", party B says " He/ she Gave me". If you have anything that even resembles a contract such as an e-mail that says i'll pay you back, you will prevail.
Speaking of Judge Judy, does anyone know if the parties are compensated for their appearances?
-
Speaking of Judge Judy, does anyone know if the parties are compensated for their appearances?
They get to be dumbasses in public as oppossed to just being dumbasses in their private lives? ???
-
Trust me this is a easy case is open and shut if I choose to file. I also have several aces of my sleave should I need to play them. When i go after some one I don't pull punchs. I am giving it about another week and a few more contact attempts. After I will start playing hard ball.
-
If it gets ugly try an arbitrator. (flip your yellow pages under lawyer and the ones who are certified will list it). Their fees (at least here) are set by the state and both parties split them. Its a whole lot cheaper than hiring a lawyer and going to trial. In fact, it is Judge Judy, only without the camera and screaming Harpy.
-
Either file suit or since you have left the area and you say the money is secondary, go back long enough to pay some one to break his legs. ( and then dose him with Ex Lax ;D )
Judge Judy has problems of her own .
http://www.eonline.com/news/397058/judge-judy-sued-over-china-that-s-allegedly-worth-more-than-500-000?cmpid=rss-000000-rssfeed-365-celebritynews
-
Lets say you lent money to a friend you were very close too.( few thousand) with a agreement that they were going to make small payments every month. ( what they could aford) they have never made a single payment. Your friendship with this person is now gone, now way it will ever be back ( money was not the reason).....
This almost sounds planned. This person borrows the money, then does something else to train wreck the friendship out of convenience, so now he can screw you out of the money. The old, "Well if your going to be a prick, you can forget about that money I owe you!", routine. As was said, if you have anything in writing go after him in Small Claims. You can then at least avoid attorney costs which can quickly add up to more than he owes you.
-
As a note, from TAB's descriptions of the incident, I believe the ex-friend is likely a woman.
-
As a note, from TAB's descriptions of the incident, I believe the ex-friend is likely a woman.
In that case, run, don't walk away, and chalk the whole thing up to experience.
-
This almost sounds planned. This person borrows the money, then does something else to train wreck the friendship out of convenience, so now he can screw you out of the money. The old, "Well if your going to be a prick, you can forget about that money I owe you!", routine. As was said, if you have anything in writing go after him in Small Claims. You can then at least avoid attorney costs which can quickly add up to more than he owes you.
I know it doesn't apply in TAB's case, but a friend used to always say "if you want to keep someone away, loan them money and you'll likely not see them for a while."
-
Tom's rule #3
Never do business with friends or relatives.
-
When it come to relatives asking for money, they're a lot like fish. After a couple of days you have to get rid of them because they start to stink.
-
When it come to relatives asking for money, they're a lot like fish. After a couple of days you have to get rid of them because they start to stink.
That's why you sprinkle them with lye.
-
Tom's rule #3
Never do business with friends or relatives.
A lot like my rule, never do (serious) business with someone you aren't prepared to sue. It never ends well.
-
I notice that TAB hasn't responded since yesterday afternoon. He must be up to mischief!
-
I notice that TAB hasn't responded since yesterday afternoon. He must be up to mischief!
He's in the process of moving out of Ca.
-
no process, done. Went to omv today and got my dl.
-
That was quick !
From F Ca to move done in under a week ?
-
ONE RULE FOR A HAPPY LIFE
Never loan anybody anything unless you are prepared to consider it a gift.
That's especially true for family, but it applies to friends, as well.
And when I say "consider it a gift" that means without angst or anger.
It's a gift.
Freely given and without rancor if you never see any pay back.
And, if you do happen to get paid back, consider it found money and go out and buy yourself a new gun.
Crusader Rabbit
-
ONE RULE FOR A HAPPY LIFE
Never loan anybody anything unless you are prepared to consider it a gift.
That's especially true for family, but it applies to friends, as well.
And when I say "consider it a gift" that means without angst or anger.
It's a gift.
Freely given and without rancor if you never see any pay back.
And, if you do happen to get paid back, consider it found money and go out and buy yourself a new gun.
Crusader Rabbit
My thoughts exactly :D :D
And DAMN, TAB! You don't mess around. I spend as much time starring in the direction I'll be moving to get used to it as you do moving.
-
Well they agreed to payments, but also said some very hurtful things. I will most likly never see them again. Not sure how I feel about that. If things had not fallen apart, i would have just wrote off the cash and moved on. Oh well.
-
Well they agreed to payments, but also said some very hurtful things. I will most likly never see them again. Not sure how I feel about that. If things had not fallen apart, i would have just wrote off the cash and moved on. Oh well.
TAB, they have lost more than you. They lost a valuable friend.....you lost what you thought was a friendship.
I got a letter from one of my Explorers when they were in Switzerland going to college thanking me for "teaching them to.......see the ugliness in the world without becoming cynical".
I think you can do that.
-
Well they agreed to payments, but also said some very hurtful things. I will most likly never see them again. Not sure how I feel about that. If things had not fallen apart, i would have just wrote off the cash and moved on. Oh well.
Where exactly did you wind up? I must have missed the post.
-
Where exactly did you wind up? I must have missed the post.
FQ missed something ?
Not going to go there, not going to go there.
It was in the "Where are you from" thread.
He's getting Bent in Or.
-
I honestly will miss my friend alot. They said some really hurtful things. It will be a long time before i let some one get close to me. My heart gets me in more trouble then anything else.
-
i am really feeling bad about this. I just want to drive down there and see them. thats not going to happen, but thats what I feel like doing. I have lots of friends, but very few that I call friend, this was one. I don't often open up to people and really trust them. I am not going to lie, this really was it for me and why I got the hell out of ca. the last straw. Honestly last month I would have done just about anything for this person. i really bent over backwards and went way out side of my confort level.