The Down Range Forum
Member Section => Down Range Cafe => Topic started by: PegLeg45 on April 08, 2013, 11:47:56 AM
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More harm from engineered food..........
On the plus side, I calculate that mirkin stock will rise. ;D ;D
Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
A six-month study by AgriSearch, an on-campus research arm of Dalhousie University, has shown that genetically modified (GM) cucumbers grown under license to Monsanto Inc. result in serious side effects including total groin hair loss and chafing in "sensitive areas", leading to the immediate and total ban of sales of all that company's crop and subsequent dill pickles.
The tracking study of 643 men and women in Nova Scotia came about after reports began to surface about bald field mice and the bald feral cats that ate them being discovered by farmers on acreages growing the new crop.
"The bald wild animals raised a huge flag and we immediately obtained subpoenas for the medical records of all 600 plus adults who took part in focus groups and taste tests of the cucumbers by Monsanto in Canada," said Dr. Nancy Walker, Director of Public Health Research at Dalhousie. "Fully 3/4 of the people who ate these cukes had their crotch area hair fall out. This is not a joking matter at all...these people now have hairless heinies."
Nova Scotia became the first province or state in North America to ban a Monsanto GM food product, although GM corn and other food crops are currently outlawed in Ireland, Japan, New Zealand, Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Greece and Hungary. Governments in Australia, Spain, UK, France, Turkey, India and Mexico have public petitions or legislative bills under consideration. Californians recently voted down a bill that would have required all GM foods to be clearly labeled. Monsanto cucumbers have been ordered removed from all food stores in Nova Scotia, while Quebec stores have begun a voluntary removal, partially because the UPC code stickers contain some English.
"I pulled down my boxer shorts to get ready for bed one night and there it was...a pile of hair that looked like a chihuahua puppy," said Eric LaMaze, who was paid $50 by Monsanto to compare the tastes of natural cucumbers to Monsanto GM cucumbers in March of this year in Halifax. "Then I saw my bits and whoa they were like all shiny skin. Bald."
Mr. LaMaze and other taste test participants said the GM cucumbers tasted the same as the naturally grown cucumbers but made a slight "fizzing noise" when swallowed. The participants also complained of raw skin in their genital area and some bed wetting.
Monsanto Inc., a self-described Sustainable Agriculture Company based in Creve Coeur, Missouri, where they share offices with major shareholder Bain Capital, issued a statement saying, "Next generation fruits and vegetables, including VO5 cucumbers, are safe for human consumption with some potential minor side effects. Some fine-tuning is underway."
http://www.thelapine.ca/monsanto-cucumbers-cause-genital-baldness-immediately-banned-nova-scotia
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The waxing community will be up in arms.
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Monsanto is a major player in the push for the implementation of the U.N. Agenda 21.
http://www.thenewamerican.com/tech/environment/item/14409-gmo-giant-monsanto-joins-big-business-coalition-for-un-agenda-21
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Are you sure this didn't come out on April 1st?
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It is a satire site.
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Yes...it is satire..... but I just couldn't resist the opportunity for a mirkin joke. ;D
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I'm always up for a merkin joke. :P
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Keep your merkin in your pants!
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I had a great uncle that worked in a pickle factory. His job was to inspect all the pickles just before they went into the packing section. His job was to cull out all the small pickles, called gherkins and put it in a separate container. His job title? A gherkin jerker.
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I had a great uncle that worked in a pickle factory. His job was to inspect all the pickles just before they went into the packing section. His job was to cull out all the small pickles, called gherkins and put it in a separate container. His job title? A gherkin jerker.
Awwww, that's just wrong.
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I had a friend who worked in Keebler's pretzel factory in Cincinnati.
He was fired when they found him putting his member in one of their pretzel benders.
They let her go too.