The Down Range Forum
Member Section => Down Range Cafe => Topic started by: Bic on October 29, 2013, 12:27:25 PM
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Police work can be entertaining as well as dangerous.
Recently, a female sheriff's deputy arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22 year old white male, who was fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of a field at night. The next day, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency and public intoxication.
The suspect explained that he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop. 'You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles, or at least I thought there was no one around' he stated.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need. 'Guess I was really into it, y'know?' he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching sheriff's car and was unaware of his audience until Deputy Brenda Taylor approached him.
'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Deputy Taylor. 'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just humping away at this pumpkin.'
Deputy Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence ...
'I said: 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?'
He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said:
'A pumpkin? Damn ... is it midnight already ?'
The court (and the judge) could not contain their laughter. Lawrence was found guilty only of public intoxication, fined $10. and sent on his way.
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With the way they dress, sometimes those pumpkins are just asking for it.
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Hi,
Do you have a link to this story, I'd like to share it with people in other forums ?
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He put the "pump" in pumpkin.
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Hi,
Do you have a link to this story, I'd like to share it with people in other forums ?
It's a funny story...got me laughing...but if you share it with folks, share it as a joke.
http://www.snopes.com/risque/caught/pumpkin.asp
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Yes cops see this stuff all the time. One of my fellow officers was dispatched to a man having sex with a fire hydrant.
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Yes cops see this stuff all the time. One of my fellow officers was dispatched to a man having sex with a fire hydrant.
The ergonomics of this confuses me greatly.