The Down Range Forum
Member Section => Down Range Cafe => Topic started by: 2HOW on August 14, 2008, 08:41:29 PM
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>
> Drinking with a Redneck Girl
>
> A Mexican, an Arab, and a redneck girl are in the same bar.
>
> When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls
> out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In Mexico , our
> glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice.'
>
> The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws it into the
> air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In the
> Arab World, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to
> drink with the same one twice either.'
>
> The redneck girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one
> gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 45, and shoots the
> Mexican and the Arab. Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and
> calling for a refill, she says,
>
> 'In America we have so many illegal aliens that we don't have to drink
> with the same ones twice.'
>
> ' God Bless America
>
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Thanks! now I have to clean up the beer I knocked over.
I need a refill. ;D ::) ;D ::)
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Here's one more thing to make my people proud.....
http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/08/14/bigfoot.body/index.html?section=cnn_latest
(CNN) -- A policeman and a former corrections officer say that on Friday, they will unveil evidence of what they claim is their biggest capture ever: the body of Bigfoot.
The thawed body of a creature reputed to be Bigfoot reportedly weighs more than 500 pounds.
Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer, a pair of Bigfoot-hunting hobbyists from north Georgia, say they found the creature's body in a wooded area and spotted several similar creatures that were still alive.
The carcass of the furry half-man, half-ape is 7 feet, 7 inches tall and weighs more than 500 pounds, they say. However, the two are not disclosing the exact location of their discovery in order to protect the remaining creatures.
Tom Nelson, chairman of the biology department at North Georgia College and State University in Dahlonega, said he's "pretty skeptical" the world will feast its eyes on a new species Friday.
"That would certainly rock mammalogy," joked Nelson, who specializes in the study of mammals. "I see a research grant in my future."
Whitton and Dyer plan to unveil what they say is DNA and photo evidence of the discovery in Palo Alto, California, in conjunction with a group called Searching for Bigfoot Inc.
A photograph on that group's Web site shows what appears to be the body of a large, hairy creature with an ape-like face, stuffed into a large freezer.
According to a written release, the two announced the discovery on an Internet radio show, "Squatch Detective," several weeks ago.
"The only person we would allow to come down and verify the body was 'the Real Bigfoot Hunter,' Tom Biscardi," Dyer said, referring to Searching for Bigfoot's CEO, who has been looking for the elusive, legendary creature in the United States and Canada since 1971.
Whitton is a Georgia police officer who is on administrative leave after being shot in the wrist during a pursuit. Dyer is a former prison guard.
DNA tests on the body have begun, said the statement, and "extensive scientific studies" will be done on the body by scientists, including a molecular biologist, an anthropologist and a paleontologist.
Nelson, the university professor, acknowledged that new species of animals have been discovered in recent decades and that, in science, "we always acknowledge the possibility of something new."
But he said that even in north Georgia, home to the Blue Ridge Mountains and the foot of the Appalachian Trail, it stretches the imagination to think a family of 7-foot-tall creatures could have eluded hunters, hikers and creeping development until now.
"To the average person, these places just seem like extreme wilderness where you'll find lions and tigers and bears," he said. "The reality is that you're never more than a mile from a road."
The group says the animal is male, has reddish hair and "blackish-gray" eyes and human-like feet, hands and teeth.
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Red Neck Humor:
http://www.sitemason.com/newspub/fQKJvW?id=58485
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Nice, I live about ten miles from this college.
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MORE, redneck humor....cause we all like BBQ........ ;D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ubTQfr_tyY
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As a NC resident, I would have to concur with their most professional review of a true Southern tradition. ;)
Any of you guys want to come down to Southeastern NC, and prove me wrong, I've got an extra couple rooms, and will send you home as fat and happy as one can get.
Takes about 8 to 14 hours to get it right. But it's well worth it.
It's not an an ancient Chinese secret, just a Carolina state of mind,... ;)
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As a NC resident, I would have to concur with their most professional review of a true Southern tradition. ;)
Any of you guys want to come down to Southeastern NC, and prove me wrong, I've got an extra couple rooms, and will send you home as fat and happy as one can get.
Takes about 8 to 14 hours to get it right. But it's well worth it.
It's not an an ancient Chinese secret, just a Carolina state of mind,... ;) I may take you up on that someday friend, sounds like a good time..
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As a NC resident, I would have to concur with their most professional review of a true Southern tradition. ;)
Any of you guys want to come down to Southeastern NC, and prove me wrong, I've got an extra couple rooms, and will send you home as fat and happy as one can get.
Takes about 8 to 14 hours to get it right. But it's well worth it.
It's not an an ancient Chinese secret, just a Carolina state of mind,... ;)
Last time I was in a NC state of Mind it required me to dress up like a tree and stand in formation in a street ;D
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North Carolina BBQ *drool* :P
Its been so long.
Great video BTW, and very true about Georgia! Everywhere you go is different!
Also, did anybody notice they put a silhouette of CA when they were talking about Florida?
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I like it ALL.... :)
BBQ is your friend...... ;D
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As a NC resident, I would have to concur with their most professional review of a true Southern tradition. ;)
Any of you guys want to come down to Southeastern NC, and prove me wrong, I've got an extra couple rooms, and will send you home as fat and happy as one can get.
Takes about 8 to 14 hours to get it right. But it's well worth it.
It's not an an ancient Chinese secret, just a Carolina state of mind,... ;)
You said that right.
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When one of my friends figured out how to barbeque bratwurst he was one happy camper. Literally. We were camping at the time, and he was ecstatic about how much better they were barbequed instead of just grilled. No barbeque sauce on them either. Barbeque is a method of cooking that has nothing to do with sauces. I'm from Michigan and can't get much less southern, but I know that.
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When one of my friends figured out how to barbeque bratwurst he was one happy camper. Literally. We were camping at the time, and he was ecstatic about how much better they were barbequed instead of just grilled. No barbeque sauce on them either. Barbeque is a method of cooking that has nothing to do with sauces. I'm from Michigan and can't get much less southern, but I know that.
I talked to a fellow at "The Big Pig Jig" (a big BBQ cookoff in middle Ga.) and asked him what the different terms meant.
He said:
Grilling= high heat, no lid on the grill, super fast cooking.
Barbequeing= medium heat, with the lid down, medium to fast cooking.
Smoking= low heat, lid down ("if you lookin', you ain't cookin') long term, all day, super slow cooking (called "low 'n slow").
I personally like method three, slow smokin'....leaves a lot of beer time while sitting at the grill.
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I considered barbeque to be "low and slow" and used the same EXACT term when talking to my friends. I never really thought about "smoking" as meaning anything outside of a smokehouse (or a smoker). And grilling is hot and fast. I don't know the proper term for having a bunch of coals in a pit and burying everything but it's probably the best way to have tender juicy meat. I heard that some specialty stores sell banana leaves as wrappers for cooking that way. It's better than Dutch oven cooking and you can go hunting while your whole meal cooks.
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I considered barbeque to be "low and slow" and used the same EXACT term when talking to my friends. I never really thought about "smoking" as meaning anything outside of a smokehouse (or a smoker). And grilling is hot and fast. I don't know the proper term for having a bunch of coals in a pit and burying everything but it's probably the best way to have tender juicy meat. I heard that some specialty stores sell banana leaves as wrappers for cooking that way. It's better than Dutch oven cooking and you can go hunting while your whole meal cooks.
I have had many a meal cooked this way while on hunting trips. It's a very efficient way to cook. All you need is heavy aluminum foil and some coals.
I've been told, by those more learned than I, that smoking requires less than 200 degree temp and little or no flame, just coals from good hardwoods.
I like it ALL.... ;D
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Instead of starting a new 'redneck' thread, I'll just post this here.
Redneck Carnival Ride:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYF-3R47_VU
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My opinion (note that I did not say "in my humble opinion" because that would imply I care about others, and I rely do give a damn what most of you think ;)), it ain't a good bbq unless you bury the pig with hot coals and rocks in the morning, and sometime after sunset you have a bunch of drunks crawling around the yard feeling for the warm spot.
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My opinion (note that I did not say "in my humble opinion" because that would imply I care about others, and I rely do give a damn what most of you think ;)), it ain't a good bbq unless you bury the pig with hot coals and rocks in the morning, and sometime after sunset you have a bunch of drunks crawling around the yard feeling for the warm spot.
We tried this approach once with a goat (no jokes please)......got too drunk........never did find that goat......... ;D ;D ;D ;D
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My opinion (note that I did not say "in my humble opinion" because that would imply I care about others, and I rely do give a damn what most of you think ;)), it ain't a good bbq unless you bury the pig with hot coals and rocks in the morning, and sometime after sunset you have a bunch of drunks crawling around the yard feeling for the warm spot.
+1 Had some friends from the Philippines who cooked them that way. Pulling guard duty to make sure the pig did not dig its self out and run away was a very important assignment. That always called for plenty of "ammo".