The Down Range Forum
Member Section => Politics & RKBA => Topic started by: Teresa Heilevang on March 11, 2009, 05:06:01 PM
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The AWNAA ...Americans With No Abilities Act
Washington , DC - (Dateline February 18, 2009)
President Barack Obama and the Democrat controlled Congress are considering sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.
"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said California Senator Barbara Boxer - Democrat. "We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability (POI) to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing."
In a Capitol Hill press conference, House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi – Democrat, and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid – Democrat - pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack any job skills, making this agency the single largest U.S. employer of Persons of Inability.
Private-sector industries with good records of non-discrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home improvement warehouse stores (65%). At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons of Inability (63%).
Under AWNAA, more than 25 million mid-level positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.
Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given so as to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability into middle-management positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.
Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, "Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?"
"As a Non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them,"said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint , Michigan , due to her inability to remember rightey tightey, lefty loosey."This new law should be real good for people like me," Gertz added. With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Said Senator Dick Durbin (Democrat-IL), "As a Senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so."
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This has to be a joke, right?
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This has to be a joke, right?
Pleeeeeeeeassssse Let it be a joke,..........
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Isn't it sad that we even have to ask that?With so many other outragious programs..why not this one!
When this was sent to me.. I had to stop and I did some checking to see if it was a joke.
It is.
But it wouldn't have surprised me one bit to find out the stupid government would do something like this.
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Isn't it sad that we even have to ask that?With so many other outragious programs..why not this one!
When this was sent to me.. I had to stop and I did some checking to see if it was a joke.
It is.
But it wouldn't have surprised me one bit to find out the stupid government would do something like this.
Yer welcome Sweet Thang ;)
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Careful Haz, keep spreading stuff like this around and the liberals will be contacting you for ideas for new bills. :D :o
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Yeah...Haz could run for Spenditor...oops, I mean Senator... ;D
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Yeah...Haz could run for Spenditor...oops, I mean Senator... ;D
I least we would know our hard earned money would be stolen and spent on good things, like more AMMO!
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This bill is redundant. If you have no skills or intelligence whatsoever, you're already over-qualified to run for a political office like the Congress.
As far as automatic raises and promotions are concerned, I think we've seen one moronic Senator become President. And that President as choosen some extremely unable people to key positions. Actually paying your taxes means you know too much to be in the cabinet.
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Yeah...Haz could run for Spenditor...oops, I mean Senator... ;D
At least we know we'd have ONE pro-2A member in the Spendit.
I can see the roll now: Harry Reid (D) NV, Tom Harkin (D) IA, Haz Cat (Drtv) FL
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I'd happily replace Bill Nelson (D-FL)
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I'd happily replace Bill Nelson (D-FL)
I'm sure MANY people would have you "happily replacing" him.
If you'll do that, maybe I can replace Tom Harkin (D-IA) (D-Barbados) ..............or wherever the hell carribbean island it is that the asshat lives on.
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Isn't it sad that we even have to ask that?With so many other outrageous programs..why not this one!
When this was sent to me.. I had to stop and I did some checking to see if it was a joke.
It is.
But it wouldn't have surprised me one bit to find out the stupid government would do something like this.
That's too funny! :D
I can see it now. People I know personally, standing in line to get their American With Inabilities Identification Card.
What would qualify individuals for this program?
High School Dropout.
Drug and/or Alcohol Dependent.
Unwed Teenage Dependents With Dependents.
Can play at least 10 hours of a video game system daily without stopping for restroom breaks.
Must be on some type of established government assistance program already.
Misdemeanors and Felonies applicable, but not required.
Ability to read and write will not be held against applicants.
Just playin...But a good joke Marshallette.
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That's too funny! :D
I can see it now. People I know personally, standing in line to get their American With Inabilities Identification Card.
What would qualify individuals for this program?
High School Dropout.
Drug and/or Alcohol Dependent.
Unwed Teenage Dependents With Dependents.
Can play at least 10 hours of a video game system daily without stopping for restroom breaks.
Must be on some type of established government assistance program already.
Misdemeanors and Felonies applicable, but not required.
Ability to read and write will not be held against applicants.
Just playin...But a good joke Marshallette.
DAMN! You got the qualifications 'splained perfectly!
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WHAT? It's a joke?
And I thought my ship had come in. ;)
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If you changed the wording to ability challenged and we will have a new amendment, I am waiting for the appointment of a handicapper general to the working class.