The Down Range Forum
Member Section => Down Range Cafe => Topic started by: Fatman on July 24, 2009, 11:12:50 PM
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Look around, laugh, cry, post the ones you like (or find totally stupid) here. :)
http://www.rulesofthumb.org/ (http://www.rulesofthumb.org/)
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I always thought is was the thickness of a stick with which it was allowed for a man to beat his wife, ;)
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"If you have to wear more than a yard of spandex, you probably shouldn't." Rule of thumb? Hell, that should be the law!
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When a leader declares having 'full confidence' in one of their minions (this works for football coaches, prime ministers, executives), that minion has an average remaining time in office of about two weeks.
If a politician categorically denies something, you can bet that they did it.
When dueling with firearms, always aim lower than your opponent's vital area--to pierce the heart, aim at the knees.
From Mark Twain: "The best swordsman in the world doesn't need to fear the second-best swordsman; no, the person for him to be afraid of is some ignorant antagonist who has never had a sword in his hand before; he doesn't do the thing he ought to do, and so the expert isn't prepared for him."
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I always thought is was the thickness of a stick with which it was allowed for a man to beat his wife, ;)
It also applied to children, slaves and other chattels.
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"If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck."
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If the enemy is in range , SO ARE YOU.
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That sounds like one of Murphy's laws of combat Tom.
In the military, never forget that all of your equipment was made by the lowest bidder.
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Remember, you can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose but if you can pick your friends nose your too close!
FWIW
Richard
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Pegleg's Law of Engineering (aka: rule of thumb, if you will, since it applies to most things):
Once a project becomes f***ed up, any and every thing you do from that point forward to try and fix it, only serves to f**k it up even worse.
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Don't care for Harry's politics but this was always a good one.
"Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day.”
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So I have made a new Truism, a new Rule of Thumb.
Besides the old standards: Don't mess with the mask of the Lone Ranger. Don't tug on Superman's cape. Don't spit (or for that matter propel any bodily fluids) into the wind. And NFL (No Free Lunch).
The there's the old Alfer's most famous ROT: Never buy guns or ammo at a place that sells tennis balls.
So yesterday at Home Depot, trying to figure out which glue was the old standard plastic airplane glue. With the obsession over substance abuse (let's not relate this thread to the coffee and Bourbon thread), it's hard to know which of the varied glues is "the real thing".
Here's what I found out.
You know you have the right glue if they require you to show an ID.
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TANSTAAFL
"Gospodin," he said presently, "you used an odd word earlier--odd to me, I mean..."
"Oh, 'tanstaafl.' Means ~There ain't no such thing as a free lunch.' And isn't," I added, pointing to a FREE LUNCH sign across room, "or these drinks would cost half as much. Was reminding her that anything free costs twice as much in long run or turns out worthless."
"An interesting philosophy."
"Not philosophy, fact. One way or other, what you get, you pay for."
From The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, by Robert Heinlein.
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Bring a gun to a gun fight. Call a friend with a gun and have them bring friends with guns.
If your ambush is going great the enemy flanked you.
Friendly fire is not friendly.
Screw the eyes, hands kill, watch the hands.
Be polite, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
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After 60 :
Never waste a hard on.
Never pass up a bathroom.
And never trust a fart.
Jack Nicholson in "The Bucket List".
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If you’re not shootin’, you should be loadin’. If you’re not loadin, you should be movin’, if you’re not movin’, someone’s gonna cut your head off and put it on a stick.~ Clint Smith
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I was going to purchase some inexpensive cookware to use on a small sailboat I'd just bought. The old guy who sold the boat said: If you buy right, you only pay once; If you buy cheap, you pay every time you use it.
Another truism: If it's got wings, wheels, sails or tits, it's cheaper to rent it.
And to add to Peg's engineering observation, when a project starts to become eff'd up, the last guy hired will be blamed.
One more: Fresh coffee and pipe tobacco always smell better than they taste.
Crusader Rabbit
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When the pin is pulled Mr Grenade is not your friend.
It is generally inadvisable to eject over the are you just bombed.
If you attack is proceeding perfectly , you are probably walking into an ambush.
(Compliments of official US military training manuals )
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One "Aww Shit!" wipes out all "atta boys".
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I'm familiar with a few of these Murphy's Laws of combat but haven't seen all of them before.
http://www.megazone.org/Random/murphy.shtml
http://www.military-quotes.com/murphy.htm
http://murphys-laws.com/murphy/murphy-war.html