The Down Range Forum
Member Section => Down Range Cafe => Topic started by: billt on August 29, 2009, 06:19:59 PM
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Lately I have gotten so sick and tired of constantly hearing people ask me why my wife doesn't work, after they find out we don't have kids, I just can't listen to it anymore and need to put a few things out there.
WHY MY WIFE DOESN'T WORK:
1.) The hamper is ALWAYS EMPTY!
2.) I can work any shift I want and it doesn't cause any issues because we can accommodate anything.
3.) The dog never has to "hold it" for 9 hours.
4.) The fridge is ALWAYS FULL, and the beer is always bought, racked, and cold!
5.) The cars are always washed and waxed.
6.) The tub, shower, sinks are always spotless.
7.) The floors are always vacuumed.
8.) We NEVER eat anything out of a can for dinner!
9.) The bed is always made with nice clean, crisp sheets every single night.
10.) The pool is always spotless, and the chlorine and PH are always perfect.
11.) The bills are always paid on time, and I NEVER have to be the one to deal with any of it.
12.) The banking and all financial matters are always taken care of without me ever having to worry.
13.) When I come home, painted on tight shorts or a micro mini, heels, and a glass of chilled wine await me. Not a Polyester "Hillary Clinton" pants suit, and a lot of bitching about the boss she hates.
14.) Doctor, dentist, and haircut appointments are always made for me well in advance, and all I have to do is simply show up.
15.) She is always home to receive any deliveries from UPS, Fed-X, or anyone else. Not to mention being there when any people come to work on the house, do landscaping, or clean, paint, or fix, ANYTHING.
16.) The mail is already opened, sorted, or taken care of. My new gun magazines are already cut out of the plastic, and by my chair, ready for reading.
17.) Any and ALL running around has been done. There is nothing left for me to do when the week ends. I can sit, chat, work on my guns or ammo, and she is right there by my side ready, willing, and able to help. Usually wearing some sort of damn sexy outfit to distract me.
All of this has been far worth it in my opinion. When I get home she comforts me. We don't "share" bull$h!t. I leave work and do not bring it home. Jobs are a dime a dozen. A beautiful stay at home wife isn't. She doesn't feel the need to "go out and roar". Helen Reddy can do that. My wife would rather stay at home and be with me. Personally, I think if more women did that, the divorce rate in this country would in fact plummet. I'm not saying "A woman's place is in the kitchen". I AM SAYING a wife who doesn't work, especially in todays give a $h!t world, is far happier. I know this to be a fact. None of the neighbor women want a damn thing to do with her. She doesn't work, has no kids, wears way too short of skirts and too much makeup, and "kisses her husband's a$$" too much. Now you know how and why I've got it made. My wife doesn't work for just anyone. She works for US! Rant over. Bill T.
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I thought the punchline was going to be - cuz I did it all! Well, that's the way it is here at la casa Pathfinder. Somewhere I went wrong . . . >:(
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Ah, married life without kids....
I was going to quote Al Bundy, but I'll just go to the corner with my big 10 inch,.....:
Nachos Platter... 8)
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Don'tcha mean AL Bundy?
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TW, you are scaring me man!!!! ;D LOL
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I thought the punch line was going to read 'And then I woke up'.
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OOOOpsssss :P
corrected for posterity...
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Does she give lessons? I've got a stay at home wife, but with our boys and the only thing off that list I get is the dog being taken out some of the time....and I don't even want either of the mutts in the house anyway so it's "not for me" anyway. This just ain't right, it ain't right I say....
You are an evil man to enlighten us in this way....I had no idea how depraved you really are. ;D
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my old lady makes me do all my own laundry and sort through my own mail.
what a lucky guy you are.
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That reminds me.... I need to do my laundry so I'll have clean clothes for church tomorrow.....
<===== Single, and haven't been able to train the German Shepherd to do laundry...... ;D
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From the post "16.) The mail is already opened, sorted, or taken care of. My new gun magazines are already cut out of the plastic, and by my chair, ready for reading."
That right there is enough to make ME think about remarrying ;D
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What you mean your wife doesnt work?
You just put up a list of all the stuff she does, hell if that aint work what is it?
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Thank you Sledge... You took the words right out of my mouth... :)
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I vote we kick Bill off the forum. He starts with all the gun porn that would make anyone envyous. Now he starts with his wife. I am starting to feel very inadequate. Might have to trade the wife in, also. What to do........................
;D
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I STILL need to get my laundry started back up..... DRTV is addictive....
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Thanks alot for the wonderful post Bill. I've been happily single again for the past 9 years. If I could find a Great gal that did 1/2 of what your wife does (she obviously loves you) not to mention how attractive she is; I'd be more than happy! To top that off you seem to share your lives together. Now I almost wanted to start dating again. Now you've got me thinking of all kinds of crazy stuff like that. I'm jealous now. I was happy until I read your crappy post. Go ahead and rub it in why don't you! Thanks for nuttin' ! I'm with 1911.....Let's vote him off. He's too happy. That's almost anti-american!
I feel like sh%t now! I want my mommy! You f$cker!
(http://i895.photobucket.com/albums/ac157/johnnybravo7/thbus.jpg)
Just kidding Bill. I told you before "You are a lucky man" but you know that. Congratulations to the both of you!(http://i895.photobucket.com/albums/ac157/johnnybravo7/smileys/emoticon-USflagwaving.gif)
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Does she have a sister?
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Does she have a sister?
It's almost like I've heard you say that before. :-X
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lets see my wife:
comes home and normally goes strait to bed.
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lets see my wife:
comes home and normally goes strait to bed.
Well, she gets tired with that giant burden she's carrying around on her back. Yes, that would be you, Tab. ;)
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1911........That was me asking about M'ette's sister and Wolfe cut me off!
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It's almost like I've heard you say that before. :-X
Yeah I have said that before. Guess I've been alone for too long. I need to learn how to eat with a fork again and shave my back I guess.
1911........That was me asking about M'ette's sister and Wolfe cut me off!
Just the Alpha Wolfe doing what Alphas do. ;D
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Yeah I have said that before. Guess I've been alone for too long. I need to learn how to eat with a fork again and shave my back I guess.
That makes 2 of us. Lazer might be better but not cheap.
Just the Alpha Wolfe doing what Alphas do. ;D
The wolfe was cool about it. He understood. He said he'd cut in the line too. ;D
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I STILL need to get my laundry started back up..... DRTV is addictive....
I have zero problem buying her anything that will make her life easier, or more efficient. Our washer / dryer was old, small, and drank energy. (Electric dryer.) We replaced both with a couple of the new high capacity, energy efficient models. I ran a gas line into the laundry room to get away from having to buy another electric dryer. The washer will take 16 pairs of jeans in one load, or wash a king size comforter. The wash now takes her 1/5th the time, and the clothes come out better. More time relaxing for her, and less time doing. That is ALWAYS worth the money seeing as you can't buy time, just things that will help you save it. Bill T.
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Thank you Sledge... You took the words right out of my mouth... :)
Sorry I will return them when i have finished. ;D :-*
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What you mean your wife doesnt work?
You just put up a list of all the stuff she does, hell if that aint work what is it?
As I said, she works for US.
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There was a time she did work. It just wasn't worth all of the B.S. that went with it. The workplace has changed, both for skilled and not so skilled workers. I see it in my trade. It's worse for women. Now they get rid of half the people and expect the other half to "multi task". That's pure crap. The stress level goes straight through the roof, and the paycheck doesn't budge an inch. Stuff builds up around the house, both people wind up getting irritable, and before you know it there is no quality time for either of you. I never let it get that far.
She has told me she feels "guilty" for not working. I tell her that's silly. I wouldn't want to do everything she does, which is plenty. It doesn't bother her because she can do it at her own pace, plus what doesn't get done today will get done tomorrow. Try telling that to your office manager, which is most likely some woman who is trying to "do it all", and is more than likely failing miserably at it, leaving everyone else to pay the price. As soon as I told her I didn't want her going through that anymore, our lives improved immeadeatly. I've found the older I get, the less I want other people involved in our lives. We only me having to deal with it, it all becomes far more simple. And as they say, simple is better. Bill T.
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There was a time she did work. It just wasn't worth all of the B.S. that went with it. The workplace has changed, both for skilled and not so skilled workers. I see it in my trade. It's worse for women. Now they get rid of half the people and expect the other half to "multi task". That's pure crap. The stress level goes straight through the roof, and the paycheck doesn't budge an inch. Stuff builds up around the house, both people wind up getting irritable, and before you know it there is no quality time for either of you. I never let it get that far.
Yes, "Do more with less" = More work for less incentive.
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Yes, "Do more with less" = More work for less incentive.
You have nailed it right on the button. I praise her for everything she does. She knows it is appreciated. I don't "expect it" the way her last boss did, then turn around and complain about it. Bill T.
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lets see my wife:
comes home and normally goes strait to bed.
She's atypical, TAB.
Most single women go home, see what's in the refrigerator and then go to bed.
Most married women go home, see what's in bed, then go to the refrigerator. ;)
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Eeeeeassssy tt............Careful how you categorize... especially with the blond sitting in on the conversation....
Just for the record.........I'm not most women........... :)
I could toot my own horn..but I won't... ;)
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In my wifes defense, 12 hours at work is a short day. 16-18 is the norm.
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I would love to be a stay at home wife and work my ass off keeping everything up-----not!-----
Now, I have a stay at home hubby, which is good too. He's never too tired for anything after working all day ;)
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I would love to be a stay at home wife and work my ass off keeping everything up-----not!-----
Now, I have a stay at home hubby, which is good too. He's never too tired for anything after working all day ;)
Are you bragging or complaining?
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Eeeeeassssy tt............Careful how you categorize... especially with the blond sitting in on the conversation....
Just for the record.........I'm not most women........... :)
I could toot my own horn..but I won't... ;)
That was more a commentary on husbands than on wives, M-ette. ;D
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Are you bragging or complaining?
Definitely not whining about it! ;D ;D ;D
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Definitely not whining about it! ;D ;D ;D
In that case, he's a lucky man. ;D
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I too am very blessed and very fortunate to have a stay at home wife. We have sacrificed a little financially, but the time and devotion that she has given our kids has more that made up for any financial shortfall.
Growing up in a traditional family has been a real boost to my kids and to their futures.
I'm a very lucky man to be married to such a wonderful gal. :)
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I feel the same way. We have a general, unspoken "agreement". I take care of bringing the money home, and anything mechanical around the house and involving the cars, either by doing it myself, or by hiring it out, (which we'll discuss), if the job is too involved, or I just don't want to do it. I usually have to defend if I choose to do it myself, because she doesn't want to see me use up my free time doing more work around the house. Most of the time she is right in that regard.
We've never gotten into an argument over money in almost 26 years of marriage. She never says no to me if it's anything I want like guns, etc. That said, I don't throw money away either. She is very thrifty and it doesn't even concern me when she spends any, simply because it's usually so little.
Today is a good example. UPS just delivered my new scope and mounts for my new Savage a few minutes ago. $440.00 worth. She's waiting on a $36.00 pair of tennis shoes. With a ratio like that, I'd be an idiot to complain! ;D Bill T.
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Eeeeeassssy tt............Careful how you categorize... especially with the blond sitting in on the conversation....
Just for the record.........I'm not most women........... :)
I could toot my own horn..but I won't... ;)
Please...toot away....housework is WORK....I know because my wife & I both do it...
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Please...toot away....housework is WORK....I know because my wife & I both do it...
Damn straight! Closest I've ever come to marriage was a three year cohabitation (don't ask). The thing is we were both working stupid hours and things just didn't get done. I would have loved for one of us to have had the option to stay home. Ambition and money did not permit it. Hell, I would have been happy to do it as I love to cook, and though I hate housework, I also hate a dirty house. I also don't give a damn about traditional gender roles.The thing is that with two people working 70 hour weeks its impossible to to keep a house the way you both want it and still have "couple time" that doesn't involve doing chores like mowing the yard or cleaning the bathroom. It does strain a relationship, because you both want to just relax in those precious few off hours.
FQ13
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Eeeeeassssy tt............Careful how you categorize... especially with the blond sitting in on the conversation....
Just for the record.........I'm not most women........... :)
I could toot my own horn..but I won't... ;)
And some people would pay to see that. :o :o :o :o ;D ;D ;D ;D
Got any pork skins in the corner?