The Down Range Forum
Member Section => Down Range Cafe => Topic started by: fightingquaker13 on November 17, 2009, 08:30:14 PM
-
Simple, proven and a lot cheaper than competing litoral designs.
FQ13 ;D
http://exurbanleague.com/2009/04/10/vikings--pirates.aspx
Vikings vs. Pirates
Posted by Jon at 4/10/2009 10:38 AM
Categories: Jon,Politics,Humor
Since our moderate Pirate parody was passed around the Net, several left-of-center commentators have politely asked, "well, what the $#%^* would you do, you #%^*in' neocon #%^*-#%^*-er, imperiali$t dumb-$#%^* #%^*ing running-$#%^*-dawg $#%^* $#%^*-$#%^* 4 TEH $#%^*$#%^* AND $#%^* $#%^*? $#%^*!!1"
Frankly, my Pirate solution is simple. Instead of reaching out to negotiate with those who wish us nothing but ill, we must reluctantly fight fire with fire. And we should use fire which is hotter and even more flamey.
Artist rendering.
So, who can stand up to the barbarism and savagery of Pirates? Only one group: Vikings.
"But, Jon, what about Ninjas?" Granted, Ninjas use their stealthy, catlike skills brilliantly on land. But like their feline brethren, get them near water and they couldn't fight off an asthmatic girl scout.
Vikings ruled the seas far longer than did the lowly Pirates. These fearsome Norsemen marauded, pillaged and terrorized waters from Byzantium to Vinland centuries before the first disaffected Limey compensated for his stubby leg with a flamboyant parrot.
President Obama should immediately built a small fleet of wooden longboats capable of sustained littoral operations. Supply routes are unnecessary since the Vikings simply raid unprotected coastal areas for supplies. And, powered by wind and oar, this truly green-water fleet should easily pass muster with the EPA and most environmental NGOs.
There could be some political pushback about a force exclusively staffed by burly blonde males, but Democrats from the northern Midwest should be happy to have those types out of their districts for good. Expect newly minted Minnesota senator Al Franken to co-sponsor the Viking Authorization Bill, building up his defense bona fides.
"But Jon, why use swords, clubs and battle-axes when we have a modern, well-equipped Navy already in the region?" First Ninjas, now this? You sir, are a foreign policy dilettante.
Sure, we could send a destroyer to sink a fleet of Somali dinghies, but where's the fun in that? In politics, perception is reality and Vikings vs. Pirates is flat-out COOL.
Can you imagine the YouTube videos? Cable news would help fund the initiative just for the ratings boost.
Therefore, Exurban League calls on President Obama to do the right thing for our country, free trade and our entertainment: Use Vikings to kill the Pirates. If not for us, Sir, then for the children.
-
As a former and somewhat burly but still blonde now graying man, with weapons, whose family was born in Goteberg, Sweden, I gladly volunteer.
I even know some Norse carpenters.
Bring em' on, those punk ass tenderfoots ain't s***....
(http://i296.photobucket.com/albums/mm182/twyacht/longboat.jpg)
Vikings like young wannabe pirates...
-
That's a very butch picture, sailor. ;)
-
k...
as always i say we kill them. my solution for everything. ;D
-
k...
as always i say we kill them. my solution for everything. ;D
+1 spoken like a true Viking..
-
*** Warning ***
Dont let Quaker suck you in with a Pirate vs. Viking thread, a Glock vs. 1911 thread, a Chevy vs. Ford thread, or anything else from his left wing playbook. Its all......
POOP!
-
;D
its true though,
dont like a certain politician ;) kill him, problem solved.
dont like that global warming thing, take out green peace and pretend like it doesn't exist.
guy doing 40 on the freeway, brandish a gun out the window and he'll run for his life.
thats why im so easy going ;D
-
Puts it all in perspective.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbamnRgeaJw&feature=related
;D
-
Puts it all in perspective.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbamnRgeaJw&feature=related
;D
Ill see your Biz Markie, and raise you....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEojZTLSgFo
-
Yikes:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nNL_xT3yYM&feature=related
-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTyw6cq86kY
-
Ill see your Biz Markie, and raise you....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEojZTLSgFo
Can't beat Uncle Ted, the feedback, or the Star Spangled Banner....
Although if I have to pull the Ace up my sleeve out...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbamnRgeaJw&feature=related
God Bless America!!!!
-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TO7bYsfgkTo&feature=related
-
Can't beat Uncle Ted, the feedback, or the Star Spangled Banner....
Although if I have to pull the Ace up my sleeve out...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbamnRgeaJw&feature=related
God Bless America!!!!
You posted that already
-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIyixC9NsLI
-
want a battle eh?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kdtg9vaEqd8 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kdtg9vaEqd8)
;D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpocrqvP2Yg (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpocrqvP2Yg)
-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVl8UOhtKZc
-
want a battle eh?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kdtg9vaEqd8 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kdtg9vaEqd8)
;D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpocrqvP2Yg (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpocrqvP2Yg)
Ill see your Soulja Boy and raise you......
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5x5OXfe9KY
-
Can anyone play?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGDT7wKvdRk (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGDT7wKvdRk)
-
Can anyone play?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGDT7wKvdRk (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGDT7wKvdRk)
Winner! ;D
-
Poor FQ had his thread drifted to the "n"th level.... :-*
-
Halelujah and pass the ammunition:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qE2Vdcv9Q_o
-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwa9XrGuOyY (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwa9XrGuOyY)
-
Can anyone play?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGDT7wKvdRk (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGDT7wKvdRk)
Ding! Ding! Ding!
OMG!!!
"Jail That Skeeza Condeleeza"?????? I just can;t top that one yet......
-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tqxzWdKKu8 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tqxzWdKKu8)
-
Slow down.... I'm still listening to Bill Engvall :D
-
aha, my plan has worked.
i win ;D
-
Halelujah and pass the ammunition:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qE2Vdcv9Q_o
Fantastic!!!!
-
Here is your winner boys:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiYyHNgeFA8
-
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGoiiwxTWeE (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGoiiwxTWeE)
-
;D
"kiss my glock" was always a timeless classic
-
ARRRRRRRRRGH
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wT8ZNsKNZc
-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vX07j9SDFcc (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vX07j9SDFcc)
-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vX07j9SDFcc (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vX07j9SDFcc)
Ummmmm....This is Quakers thread.... didnt you mean:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_khgAzMido&feature=related
-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTyw6cq86kY
Tom, you realise you wasted #12,000 on that post right there :D
-
Hat Tip --> Tom Bogan:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvWsTsnpotM&feature=related
-
i cant, i just cant.... im going to bed. you guys are no fun anymore ;D
-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHAl1tWvvPA&feature=related
-
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
(http://www.downrange.tv/forum/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=9890.0;attach=5273;image)
Alex: In the form of a question please:
Me: Who are people on DRTV with way too much free time on their hands.
-
ok guys. I can't watch youtube on the ship so have no idea of what all you are doing there. but to answer the ultimate pirate solution, read this. no guns, they were boarded. guns onboard, no pirates have the sack to try and board. seems fairly simple to me. what do you think?
deepwater
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/piracy
NAIROBI, Kenya – Somali pirates attacked the Maersk Alabama on Wednesday for the second time in seven months, though private guards on board the U.S.-flagged ship repelled the attack with gunfire and a high-decibel noise device.
A U.S. surveillance plane was monitoring the cargo ship as it steamed on to its destination.
Pirates hijacked the Maersk Alabama last April and took ship captain Richard Phillips hostage, holding him at gunpoint in a lifeboat for five days. Navy SEAL sharpshooters freed Phillips while killing three pirates in a daring nighttime attack.
Somali pirates attacked the ship with automatic weapons early Wednesday about 350 nautical miles east of the Somali coast, but guards on board the craft fired back and thwarted the attempted hijacking.Cmdr. John Harbour, a spokesman for the EU Naval Force, called it "pure chance" that the Maersk Alabama had been targeted a second time.
"It's not the first vessel to have been attacked twice, and it's a chance that every single ship takes as it passes through the area," Harbour said. "At least this time they had a vessel protection detachment on board who were able to repel the attack."
An EU patrol aircraft from the Horn of Africa nation Djibouti was called in to investigate, and the closest EU Naval Force vessel was tasked with searching for the pirate attack group, the EU Naval Force said in a statement.
Phillips' ordeal last spring galvanized the attention of the U.S. public to the dangers of operating merchant ships in the Horn of Africa, one of the busiest and most precarious sea lanes in the world.
Pirates have greatly increased their attacks in recent weeks after seasonal rains subsided. On Monday, a self-proclaimed pirate said that Somali hijackers had been paid $3.3 million for the release of 36 crew members from a Spanish vessel held for more than six weeks — a clear demonstration of how lucrative the trade can be for impoverished Somalis.
Phillips told The Associated Press last month from his farmhouse in Vermont that he was contemplating retiring from sea life after his ordeal. He's been given a book deal and a movie could be in the works.
Phillips was hailed as a hero for helping his crew thwart April's hijacking before he was taken hostage, but he says he never volunteered, as crew members and his family reported at the time.
-
Alex: In the form of a question please:
Me: Who are people on DRTV with way too much free time on their hands.
Its OK, Johnny Come Lately, you can play too...... :D