The Down Range Forum
Member Section => Down Range Cafe => Topic started by: Bic on November 23, 2012, 10:26:38 AM
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This time of year finds my darling wife stopping by a couple of my hang-outs a little more often than usual to take a break from whatever it is she finds to do all day.
On occasion one or two of my female acquaintances, who may have been having lunch with a friend, or using the facility's WiFi (?) might stop at the bar to say 'Hi' and/or give this aging buffer (60) a brief platonic hug about the shoulders.
I don't remember my child (50) bride's reaction to these charming young women being as frosty in the past, when we would do the town in Dallas for example, but the cold hard stare with which she fixes these broads these days is something to be seen!
My female buddies say "Hi Mike" but the missus hears " Oh Master I have been a very bad girl recently and you should immediately take me back to your well appointed library and have your liv'ried servants strip me and place me across the knee of your harsh tweed trousers while you sit in the mahogany leather Chesterfield, where you must spank me until my little bottom glows red to absolve me of my sins before you have your evil way with me."
...............or maybe it's just me.
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I think it's time to visit the Doc, ;) and get your meds adjusted
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I think it's time to visit the Doc, ;) and get your meds adjusted
I would leave the hearing aid just the way it is though. ;D
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I think it's time to visit the Doc, ;) and get your meds adjusted
Well OK then.....(http://i1232.photobucket.com/albums/ff372/StuartCowley/viagra.jpg)
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Yep....they can be funny about some things.
When my wife and I met, I was in my early thirties and had a pretty good 'stringer of fish' trailing behind my boat (so to speak) ;) ....... but when I committed to her, several years before actual marriage, I did just that: committed to her...and her alone.........
But, from time to time, she still likes to bring up that ol' stringer of fish....... especially if one jumps out of the water in passing.
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Play it up Peg .
Yep, She's the one you thought could fill in for the whole harem. ;D
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I think it's time to visit the Doc, ;) and get her meds adjusted
FIFY, and don't ever think about divorce.
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Ahhh! These country goons ripped off the Blues Brothers...look it up...Blues Brothers..."It's Cheaper to Keep Her"!
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I believe that 'The Blue's Brother's' covered Johnny Taylor.
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Because I'm a nice guy, I'll volunteer to be your spanking double. That way your wife is happy, those young ladies are happy, I'm damn sure happy and you....., oh well, you get to save alimony. ;D
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You're right FBG! Everything they did in that "made for hollywood" band the Blues Brothers was copped from other artists. BUT...they did do very nicely crafted, clean versions of most of those songs.
Fact is, it's cheaper to keep her.
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Because I'm a nice guy, I'll volunteer to be your spanking double. That way your wife is happy, those young ladies are happy, I'm damn sure happy and you....., oh well, you get to save alimony. ;D
I'm confused here, Quaker. ???
Why would you want Bic to spank you? :o
You lefties are just so weird! ;D
Crusader
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Hey! butt out Rabbit - it's our thing and need not worry anyone else :o
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Hey! butt out Rabbit - it's our thing and need not worry anyone else :o
Yeah, CR. Don't judge others till you've crawled a mile in their leather harness. ;D ;D
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Yeah, CR. Don't judge others till you've crawled a mile in their leather harness. ;D ;D
You mean red leather pants, pink suspenders, and a sky blue blazer. Carrying 3 tubs of KY jelly, an arc welder, and jumper cables. They're peculiar that way.
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You mean red leather pants, chaps pink suspenders, and a sky blue blazer. Carrying 3 tubs of KY jelly, an arc welder, and jumper cables. They're peculiar that way.
FIFY ;D
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Ok OK...I didn't know those pics were out there, how much for the negatives? (there's an expression that has gone the way of the typewriter!)
MP
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Ok OK...I didn't know those pics were out there, how much for the negatives? (there's an expression that has gone the way of the typewriter!)
MP
Some typewriters never go out of style.
(http://blog.zephyrsports.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/thompson_chicago_typewriter_slideshow_001.jpg)
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I suggested life insurance for her and she didn't sleep for weeks... True.. ::)
I gave up..
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I suggested life insurance for her and she didn't sleep for weeks... True.. ::)
I gave up..
My wife was up late watching TV one night and I forgot to chamber a round in my 45, well she heard and thought I was coming for her...LOL! Came bursting into the room... LOL! Too funny, she thought she was brave for confronting what she thought was a deadly encounter-unarmed ???
I've got more work to do I guess...
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I got her back..
This last summer, I (after two weeks of talking) got her to lay down so I could use her trace as a silhouette for target practice..
Talk about screwing with a frail mind.. I took great joy watching her chew on that request..
I never "mass produced" it. I just did it out of meanness, to mess with her head.. ;D
I think it had the desired effect though. She seems pretty much "over it" as far as the Lifetime Movie imagination thing goes now..
(I shoot craft paper with 20 CDs spray painted over on it.. Cheaper than paper plates..)
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I got her back..
This last summer, I (after two weeks of talking) got her to lay down so I could use her trace as a silhouette for target practice..
Talk about screwing with a frail mind.. I took great joy watching her chew on that request..
I never "mass produced" it. I just did it out of meanness, to mess with her head.. ;D
If you really want to mess with her . . .
Does your vehicle have a switch where you can turn off the passenger airbag? If I does, you just make sure she's looking and turn it off if she ever gets too chatty. A little tap on the accelerator and she will usually forget what she was yapping about.
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That's too funny!!!! :D
I just came into my "retreat" here because she just told me she's heading back to Brazil next week...
She said she has to be back by the time her Visa expires on 12/27.. "What could possibly go wrong?!"..
This trip always comes with a little emotional upheaval and an attempt at a guilt trip..
There's alot of background that I won't go into here but about three days after she gets there, she tells me that she thinks she should stay and make some money so she'll have some of her own so she "won't be a burden to me". I decided last time that I wouldn't go through the heartache of asking her to come on back.. If she does it this time, I'm gonna say "Okay.." and listen to the silence on the line.. :o That should correct that one, at least, one way or the other.. ::)
Her kids pay her way back and forth anyway.
What a pain in the ass... ::)
If I could afford it, I'd ride up to Maine for Christmas, just to mess with her head when she calls..
I've yet to see this womans face on Christmas morning..
End rant..