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Member Section => Down Range Cafe => Topic started by: TAB on December 30, 2020, 07:56:10 PM

Title: Goving back gifts questions
Post by: TAB on December 30, 2020, 07:56:10 PM
so maybe you guys can give me some feed back on this.   A friend of mine broke up with his gf basically the day after Xmas. She gave back an inexpensive ( under $100. Strand of pearls) piece  of jewelry that she had received  a couple weeks earlier.   I don't have all the details, but I know it came from the heart as he talked to me about it for a long time before he ordered it for her.  Not to mention the pics of her smiling after receiving  them I got sent immediately, with " thanks for your help picking them out, she loves them"

I say this is cold, like borderline cruel  and designed just to hurt.  I could never imagine  doing this.   The misses says it was a way to heal.  What do you guys think?  Even if she didn't want to keep them, dropping  it off to him unannounced  is just fucked up.  I do not know why  they split, from all accounts she very much cared about him. I know he cared about her. I do believe  her family hated him as he is not of their faith.  So that may have come into play.
Title: Re: Goving back gifts questions
Post by: Big Frank on December 30, 2020, 11:33:08 PM
Women can be exceedingly cruel when they want to. I'm willing to bet that was the case here. No matter how much you love a woman, when she doesn't love you anymore... well, it sucks to be him.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWD5gdpt4Dw
Title: Re: Goving back gifts questions
Post by: billt on December 30, 2020, 11:39:19 PM
I say cruel, pure and simple. Why would you accept them, and put on that kind of an act, like you really liked them..... Then turn right around in only a couple of weeks and give them back? I agree with you, that's really fucked up. It could be the religion, but even that sounds far fetched. But I do know religion can cause people to say and do things they wouldn't normally.

The sooner he can start going out and putting her behind him, the better off he'll be. But it will take him some time to get over the whole thing. It sounds like he really had a thing for her. When people do this kind of $h!t to each other, it's messed up, and it takes time to get over it. He'll be OK as long as he doesn't turn to the sauce. The busier he keeps himself, the better it will be, and the faster he can put the whole thing in his rear view mirror. 
Title: Re: Goving back gifts questions
Post by: TAB on December 31, 2020, 12:24:11 AM
Glad I am not alone.  The more I think about it, if the misses were to pull this the next words out of my mouth would be " I want a divorce "  it had to be designed to hurt.
Title: Re: Goving back gifts questions
Post by: Big Frank on December 31, 2020, 12:33:57 AM
^ Your lawyer would be talking to her lawyer real soon. There's no coming back from that unless you're deeply into a sick, codependent S&M relationship.
Title: Re: Goving back gifts questions
Post by: MikeBjerum on December 31, 2020, 02:36:23 PM
TAB,

From how I understand your account, this may be a family influence thing.  It may not have been of her choice, but forced by her family.  Many of us will never understand cultures that control each other this strongly.  Under their pressure she did what she had to do, and it may have been their insistence that everything was returned, or she may have done it, as painful as it was, to make a break that she would not go back to.  Without her input, we will never know or understand.

Of course, remembering that each event has three stories, hers, his, and the truth, he may have been an asshole and done something to spur this on.
Title: Re: Goving back gifts questions
Post by: TAB on December 31, 2020, 04:16:14 PM
TAB,

From how I understand your account, this may be a family influence thing.  It may not have been of her choice, but forced by her family.  Many of us will never understand cultures that control each other this strongly.  Under their pressure she did what she had to do, and it may have been their insistence that everything was returned, or she may have done it, as painful as it was, to make a break that she would not go back to.  Without her input, we will never know or understand.

Of course, remembering that each event has three stories, hers, his, and the truth, he may have been an asshole and done something to spur this on.
it's always possible. It show me a rather lengthy text exchange over the last week. Unless there was something that happened outside of that I don't think it was him being a jerk. The religious thing could have also just been excuse. Even if he was a royal ass hole I could not understand giving a Christmas gift back. More so one that came from the heart.  I saw the note he put in the box.  It came from the heart
Title: Re: Goving back gifts questions
Post by: Rastus on December 31, 2020, 05:25:18 PM
Which religions are in question here? 
Title: Re: Goving back gifts questions
Post by: TAB on December 31, 2020, 06:03:03 PM
Which religions are in question here?
lds aka mormon
Title: Re: Goving back gifts questions
Post by: Rastus on December 31, 2020, 10:56:16 PM
yeah...about as bad as a Jewish guy and a protestant woman.  I knew one of those combinations once...it didn't work out.  His family was never happy....
Title: Re: Goving back gifts questions
Post by: TAB on December 31, 2020, 11:41:20 PM
yeah...about as bad as a Jewish guy and a protestant woman.  I knew one of those combinations once...it didn't work out.  His family was never happy....
the guy is mormon too just inactive.   From what he has told me/ shown me.  She is not capable  of being in a relationship.  My friend is a lot like I am, an ass hole on the outside, but a ultimately a very loving and caring man.  The only real fault  I see in Tony is that he will always be a worker bee.   Oh well her loss.


Jewish is carried thru the female line, so not surprising  his family was not happy.
Title: Re: Goving back gifts questions
Post by: billt on December 31, 2020, 11:45:09 PM
Religion has started more wars, and destroyed more marriages, families, and relationships than anything else.
Title: Re: Goving back gifts questions
Post by: Big Frank on January 02, 2021, 09:07:09 AM
Religion has started more wars, and destroyed more marriages, families, and relationships than anything else.

Only because, with few exceptions, each one is right and all the others are wrong. Some people believe in a magic sky wizard, and some people believe other ridiculous stuff. None of them have any proof of anything, but they know they're right and there's just no talking sense to them. If any one religion has any validity, then they should all be seen as valid. I try to keep an open mind, but if there is a god or gods neither you or I would be capable of understanding them. Could a bacteria understand quantum physics? How could we comprehend a god?
Title: Re: Goving back gifts questions
Post by: TAB on January 02, 2021, 03:48:05 PM
Ok, got a little more info now, yeah she did it just to be mean.  She even talked to her family about it and they told her it was cold hearted.   


There are some times I am so glad I am married and don't have to deal with women like that.
Title: Re: Goving back gifts questions
Post by: billt on January 02, 2021, 04:21:14 PM
Ok, got a little more info now, yeah she did it just to be mean.

Well she succeeded. I hope she's proud of her achievement.
Title: Re: Goving back gifts questions
Post by: TAB on January 02, 2021, 05:53:38 PM
Well she succeeded. I hope she's proud of her achievement.
  I doubt she gave a rats ass about his feelings.  Women like that are always unavailable.  They say they are and they think they are, but as soon as you crack that outer  shell, they do everything to push you away.  They also wonder why they are single and never married  at 40.   There are only really 3 reasons for that.  1 They are damaged in some way.  2 they are spoiled brats/ bitches. 3 they prioritized  thier career over thier personal lives.   I am guessing this one falls in group 1 and 2.  How much of each is the question
Title: Re: Goving back gifts questions
Post by: tombogan03884 on January 03, 2021, 08:49:29 AM
Only because, with few exceptions, each one is right and all the others are wrong. Some people believe in a magic sky wizard, and some people believe other ridiculous stuff. None of them have any proof of anything, but they know they're right and there's just no talking sense to them. If any one religion has any validity, then they should all be seen as valid. I try to keep an open mind, but if there is a god or gods neither you or I would be capable of understanding them. Could a bacteria understand quantum physics? How could we comprehend a god?

That's pretty much the definition of Faith.
You know, what you're supposed to put in God while you're keeping your powder dry.
Title: Re: Goving back gifts questions
Post by: Big Frank on January 07, 2021, 03:09:36 AM
That's pretty much the definition of Faith.
You know, what you're supposed to put in God while you're keeping your powder dry.

Yes, but it's blind faith. Some people claim that miracles happen all of the time. Maybe, but if they do there should be plenty of proof of it, and I just don't see it anywhere. I'm not going to believe anything miraculous happened just because some people I never met said that it happened. Without proof it's just anecdotes or hearsay. I don't believe in organized religion and think that true spirituality is a deeply personal thing an individual has. The only Blind Faith I believe in is a 1960s English rock group that came out with one album in 1969.

I was thinking earlier this morning that I should never talk about religion, sex, or politics. It's best to avoid subjects I know nothing about. :) One of my older brother's friend's parents were both Holy Rollers and his dad was a preacher. Those religious parents screwed that kid up bad. One day when he was over our house a car went down the street and some religious freak leaned out the window and yelled, "Jesus loves you!". And my brother's friend yelled right back, "He doesn't love me, I f**ked his sister!" If his parents weren't so religious he would have no reason to rebel against them, and would have grown up to be an entirely different person. But instead, religion screwed him up, and I think most people would agree that was messed up.
Title: Re: Goving back gifts questions
Post by: Big Frank on January 07, 2021, 03:12:24 AM
Ok, got a little more info now, yeah she did it just to be mean.  She even talked to her family about it and they told her it was cold hearted.   


There are some times I am so glad I am married and don't have to deal with women like that.

I'm glad I'm divorced and no longer have to deal to a woman like that.