LOL! Machetes so work! I once arrived at a city in Honduras where I noticed all the campesinos routinely wore their machetes slung on their backs Conan sword style. My first visit was to a feed and grain store, where I bought a cheap peasant workshirt, a cheap straw hat, a machete and its canvas sheath and a flat file to make sure the machete was muy sharp. I thin the whole deal came to $6. When I met up with friends, they couldn't stop laughing..."You are one paranoid SOB!" they said. Yep.
Michael B