Classic joke thread...

[Bill Stryker]

Next time your at your favorite pub, ask the bartender for a " Bin Laden "
 
When he asks,,," What's that ? "
 
Tell him....." Two shots and a splash of water "
 
 
God Bless America !

[PegLeg45]

Next time your at your favorite pub, ask the bartender for a " Bin Laden "
 
When he asks,,," What's that ? "
 
Tell him....." Two shots and a splash of water "
 
 
God Bless America !

I stole that one quicker 'n Jerry Miculek can empty a S&W.   

[tt11758]

[tt11758]

Osama's last Facebook post:


"BRB.....someone's at the door."

[sledgemeister]

Osama's last Facebook post:


"BRB.....someone's at the door."

[Sponsor]

[FSBARAK]

A man boarded a plane with six kids.

After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned
Over to him and asked, "Are all of those kids yours ? "

He replied,  " No Ma'am,  I work for a condom company.
These are customer complaints. "
 
 
 


Suspecting her husband of infidelity, the woman attempted to put an end to it by arousing his jealousy.

"What would you say if I told you that I've been sleeping with your best friend?" she asked provocatively.

"Well," he mused, "I'd say that you're a lesbian."

[philw]

A guy walks into a bar in Arkansas and orders a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, expecting to see some pitiful yankee queer.

The bartender looks up and says, "You ain't from around here, are ya??? Where ya from, boy?"

The guy says, "I'm from Iowa."

The bartender asks, "What the heck you do in Iowa?"

The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist."

The bartender asks, "A taxidermist? Now just what the heck is a taxidermist?"

The guy says nervously, "I mount animals."

The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's okay boys, he's one of us!"

[billt]

For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads. Most of us have naively thought this was connected with tradition or religion, but the Indian embassy in Ottawa has recently revealed the true story.

When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union. On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the dot to see whether he has won a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop, a taxi cab, or a motel in the United States . If nothing is there, he must remain in India to answer telephones and provide us with technical advice.

[Bill Stryker]

"I LOVE YOU" IN 10 LANGUAGES

 




  English
                                I Love  You
  Spanish
                                Te  Amo
  French
                                Je  T'aime
  German
                                Ich Liebe  Dich
  Japanese
                                Ai Shite  Imasu
  Italian
                                Ti  Amo
  Chinese
                                Wo Ai  Ni
  Swedish
                                Jag Alskar   Dig
  Lithuanian
                                As Tave  Meliu

  Alabama, Arkansas,  Oklahoma, Texas, Louisiana, South Carolina,
  Georgia, Tennessee, Florida, Mississippi ,  Kentucky, North Carolina,
  West Virginia,  Virginia, the  Ozarks

                                  Nice Tits, Get in the  Truck.

 

[tt11758]

HOW DRY IS IT IN TEXAS? 
 
 
 
It's so dry in Texas that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling.
The Methodists are using wet-wipes.
The Presbyterians are giving out rain-checks,
and the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water.


Now THAT's Dry !!!