Get a .357. Steel frame snubbies AREN'T AS BAD AS EVERYONE THINKS. As already said, and what I like about the .357 Mag, you have the option to carry magnum rounds in it, or if you shoot better with the .38 +p's you can shoot all of those you want in a .357 Mag. And again, as said, you don't HAVE to carry .357 rounds in it. I haven't fired an Ultralight .357. I have fired an Ultralight .45 Colt, but it wasn't too bad to get back on target. If you're concerned with faster target recovery, a steel framed snubbie isn't that much heavier to carry.
Get the .357. It's worth it. Just out of curiosity, which model are you considering? My S&W 649 (See My Avatar) is my favorite gun to carry. The only thing mine is missing is Laser grips, but I'm saving for them. One thing I did do, is paint that black sight with Orange nail polish, so now I can see the sight against a black target.