Classic joke thread...

[Bill Stryker]

Finally a blonde joke I haven't heard.



During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:

MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofy

When asked why such a big password, she said, "Well, DUH, it has to be at least 8 characters long."

[bulldog75]

What makes the sound of.

varoom
screech
varoom
screech
varoom
screech
dont know




Blonde at a flashing red light.

[bulldog75]

Whats the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods.
Santa quit after just 3 ho's.

[crusader rabbit]

A Texas cowboy ends up in a Wyoming bar where he orders three beers. 

The bartender sets him up and watches as the cowboy takes a sip from each beer until he's finished them all.

Then he orders three more and commences to drink them in the same fashion.

The bartender is somewhat mystified by this behavior and says to the cowboy, "You know, I'm happy to bring you as many beers as you wish, but by ordering three at a time you're letting them get a little warm and a little flat.  Why don't I just bring 'em one at a time?"

The cowboy explained to the bartender that he had a brother in Colorado and another in Arizona and they had mutually agreed they would each have their beer in this fashion as a special way of remembering how much they cared about each other.

The bartender was moved by this demonstration of brotherly love.  So were the other patrons of the bar as they got to know the young cowboy over the following days and weeks.

One day the cowboy ordered only two beers. 

When the bartender served him, he did the only logical thing and expressed his sympathy on the cowboy's loss of one of his brothers.

"No one died," said the cowboy.  "It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist church and they frown on beer drinking.  Fortunately, that don't affect my brothers, though."

[ericire12]

[Sponsor]

[Big Frank]

"What now, bitches?" 

[Johnny Bravo]

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich,  begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in
real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says,
'Kin ya swallar?'


      The woman shakes her head no.

      Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'

The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.
   
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.
The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.
As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.

    His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'

[Badgersmilk]

    Can this be a sticky at the top of the "Handguns" thread?   

[tombogan03884]

A husband says to his wife, “What would you do if I won the Lotto?”
 
She says, “I'd take half, then leave you.”
 
 “Excellent,” he replies,
“I won 12 bucks, here's $6, now get out.

[MikeBjerum]

A husband says to his wife, “What would you do if I won the Lotto?”
 
She says, “I'd take half, then leave you.”
 
 “Excellent,” he replies,
“I won 12 bucks, here's $6, now get out.

And still, somehow, we are shocked that you live alone