Classic joke thread...

[alfsauve]

[crusader rabbit]

For those not familar with the term "Coonass", it is a term of endearment among Cajuns.


Never  underestimate the intelligence of a Coonass!!!  They just  talk funny!!
 
Boudreaux, the  smoothest-talking Cajun in the Louisiana National Guard, got  called up to active duty.  Boudreaux's first assignment was  in a military induction center.
 
Because he was a  good talker, they assigned him the duty of advising new recruits  about government benefits, especially the GI insurance to which  they were entitled.
 
The officer in charge soon  noticed that Boudreaux was getting a 99% sign-up rate for the  more expensive supplemental form of GI  insurance.
 
This was remarkable, because it cost  these low-income recruits $30.00 per month for the higher  coverage, compared to what the government was already providing  at no charge.  The officer decided he'd sit in the back of  the room at the next briefing and observe Boudreaux's sales  pitch.
 
Boudreaux stood up before the latest group  of inductees and said, "If you has da normal GI insurans an' you  goes to Afghanistan   an' gets youself killed, da governmen'  pays you beneficiary $20,000.  If you takes out da  supplemental insurans, which cost you only t'irty dollars a  mons, den da governmen' gots ta pay you beneficiary  $200,000!


"Now," Boudreaux concluded, "which bunch  you tink dey gonna send ta Afghanistan   first?
 
 

[TAB]

So have I TAB, and for a whole lot less money as in ZERO!

Of course, buying dinner and breakfast can get expensive...

 

sex is never free, you pay for it...not always money, but you always pay.

[tt11758]

I went to bed once at 2 with a 10.....but woke up the next morning at 10 with a 2.   

Yeah, but so did she. 



Aw, c'mon, SOMEBODY had to say it!!

[Timothy]

sex is never free, you pay for it...not always money, but you always pay.

I loved them all and still friends with several!

Priceless!

 

[Sponsor]

[Teresa Heilevang]

A guy goes into the confessional box after years being away from the Church.

He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down.

There's a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby, and on the wall a fine photographic display of buxom ladies who appear to have mislaid their garments.

He hears a priest come in:

"Father, forgive me for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession and I must admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be".

The priest replies, "Get out, you idiot.  You're on my side".

[tt11758]

A guy goes into the confessional box after years being away from the Church.

He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down.

There's a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby, and on the wall a fine photographic display of buxom ladies who appear to have mislaid their garments.

He hears a priest come in:

"Father, forgive me for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession and I must admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be".

The priest replies, "Get out, you idiot.  You're on my side".

I never realized that the confessional and the corner had so much in common.

[Teresa Heilevang]

[sledgemeister]

A guy goes into the confessional box after years being away from the Church.

He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down.

There's a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby, and on the wall a fine photographic display alter boys who appear to have mislaid their garments.

He hears a priest come in:

"Father, forgive me for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession and I must admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be".

The priest replies, "Get out, you idiot.  You're on my side".

Fixed for accuracy..




yes I know i am going to hell, the corner is just my way of practicing

[deepwater]

 
  Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble..
   
  In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to
purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, 'When I get there, if I decide
to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.'

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she
wants to buy it.
   
  The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less.
   
  After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a
telegram to tell her the news.
   
  She walks into the telegraph office, and says, 'I want to send a telegram
to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch.
   
  I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so
we can haul it home.'

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds,
it will cost 99 cents a word.
   
  Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be
able to send her sister one word.

After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, 'I want you to send her
the word 'comfortable.'

The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you want
her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul
that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word'comfortable?'

The brunette explains, 'My sister's blonde. The word is big.
   
  She'll read it very slowly... 'com-for-da-bul.'


deepwater