Classic joke thread...

[tumblebug]

+10

[Teresa Heilevang]

This is the craziest thing I've seen in a long time.  For those of you in the 21st century .. you'll need to look at this on a pc. You also have to get out of your seat and walk away from your computer.
  People may think you're crazy. But it's well worth it. 

When you look at this picture in a closer look you see its Albert Einstein .

But if you stand 5 meters distance. It will become Marilyn Monroe 





Is this just the coolest thing??

[Hazcat]

This is the craziest thing I've seen in a long time.  For those of you in the 21st century .. you'll need to look at this on a pc. You also have to get out of your seat and walk away from your computer.
  People may think you're crazy. But it's well worth it. 

When you look at this picture in a closer look you see its Albert Einstein .

But if you stand 5 meters distance. It will become Marilyn Monroe 





Is this just the coolest thing??

Those of us in America use inches, feet and yards.

[brosometal]

There is no joke contained herein. Please relocate to the political section of the forum.

[Bill Stryker]

Ol' Blue

A young cowboy from Wyoming goes off to college, but half way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered all his money.  He calls home. 'Dad,' he says, 'You won't believe what modern education is  developing!  They actually have a program here in Laramie   that will teach our dog, Ol' Blue how to talk!'

'That's amazing,' his Dad says. 'How do I get Ol' Blue in that program?'

'Just send him down here with $1,000' the young cowb oy says. 'I'll get him in the course.'

So, his father sends the dog and $1,000.

About two-thirds through the semester, the money again runs out.  The boy calls home.

'So how's Ol' Blue doing, son ?' his father asks.

'Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm,' he says, 'but you just won't believe this.  They've had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!'

'Read!' says his father, 'No kidding!  How do we get Ol' Blue in that program?'

'Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class.'

The money promptly arriv es.

But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read.

So he shoots the dog.

When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited.

'Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait to see him read something and talk!'

'Dad, 'the boy says, 'I have some grim news.  Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does.

Then he turned to me and asked , 'So, is your daddy still messing' around with that little redhead who lives in town?'

The father exclaimed, 'I hope you shot that son of a bitch before he talks to your Mother!'

'I sure did, Dad!'

'That's my boy!'

The kid went on to be a successful lawyer.

[Sponsor]

[Walter45Auto]

This is the craziest thing I've seen in a long time.  For those of you in the 21st century .. you'll need to look at this on a pc. You also have to get out of your seat and walk away from your computer.
  People may think you're crazy. But it's well worth it. 

When you look at this picture in a closer look you see its Albert Einstein .

But if you stand 5 meters distance. It will become Marilyn Monroe 





Is this just the coolest thing??

Yup Looks like Marilyn Munroe, WITH A Mustache........

[Outlaw]

I can't seem to get far enough away that she still don't look like that ugly Einstein dude. If she'd had his brains she'd probably still be alive. 

[Teresa Heilevang]

This just in…..  FROM  THE CNN INVESTIGATIVE BUREAU

        CNN reports that gas stations across the nation will start showing
 porn movies on the screens of the pumps so that you can see someone else
 get screwed at the same time you do!!!!!!!!!

[Teresa Heilevang]

    Sunburn...........

           A guy falls asleep on the beach for several hours and gets horrible sunburn.

           He goes to the hospital and is promptly admitted.
After being diagnosed with second degree burns.

           With his skin already starting to blister and the severe pain he was in, the doctor prescribes continuous intravenous feeding with Saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.

           The nurse, who is rather astounded, says, 'What good will Viagra do for him, doctor?'

           The doctor replied, 'It'll keep the sheets off his legs.'
 
 

[Teresa Heilevang]

SEVEN KINDS OF SEX

Results of a recent research shows that the re are 7 kinds of sex.

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex..
 * This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone, and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex.
* This is when you have been with your partner for a short time, and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex.
 * This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine ,and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex
* This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each o the r in the hallway you both say 'screw you.'

The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex.
* Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night. (Very Popular)

The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex.
 * This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.

And; Last, but not least, The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex.
* You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy yourself.