My Redneck neighbor...

[Fatman]

This is an old site but it is worth posting for those that may have missed this gem.

   

"Redneck Neighbor"

Page last edited on April 11, 2002

In case you're wondering, this Web page is about my next-door neighbors.  Since my neighbors have been driving me crazy and no amount of civilized reasoning and/or negotiations have worked -  I have decided to dedicate a small corner of cyber-space to them.

My family and friends are constantly asking me to tell them the "latest" thing my neighbor has done so this page will save me from repeating myself.  Besides, I thought it would be fun.   Everything you read here is entirely true, that's what makes it so funny.   Enjoy!

See the web page for the adventure complete with pictures. Don't drink anything while reading. You've been warned! 

http://www.joespc.com/carlos/redneck.htm

Edit: This is not my web page, but thanks for the empathy, Raygun.

[Raygun]

I feel for you. Since about 5 months ago, I am awakened by the crowing of a rooster in my urban neighborhood. I suspect they are being raised for other than eggs. Can you say "cock fight"?

From the physical evidence, I think my dogs were kidnapped and used for dog fighting. When I found their bodies, they were all scarred up, but they were left lying, posed as if sleeping, on the side of the road at the entrance of my street. One had been strangled. I figure they must have taken out a few pit bulls before they tired, and were laid out in respect. They were 1 week shy of 1 year old, even though about 200 pounds apiece. The Cane Corso breed takes two years to mature. Another few more months and they could have taken any pit bull, probably would have taken out the dognappers, too. I still miss my girls.

Like I said, I don't live in the best of neighborhoods.

[1776 Rebel]

I feel for you. Since about 5 months ago, I am awakened by the crowing of a rooster in my urban neighborhood. I suspect they are being raised for other than eggs. Can you say "cock fight"?

From the physical evidence, I think my dogs were kidnapped and used for dog fighting.

Like I said, I don't live in the best of neighborhoods.

I would take this as a sign that it is time to move...

[ericire12]

I feel for you. Since about 5 months ago, I am awakened by the crowing of a rooster in my urban neighborhood. I suspect they are being raised for other than eggs. Can you say "cock fight"?

From the physical evidence, I think my dogs were kidnapped and used for dog fighting. When I found their bodies, they were all scarred up, but they were left lying, posed as if sleeping, on the side of the road at the entrance of my street. One had been strangled. I figure they must have taken out a few pit bulls before they tired, and were laid out in respect. They were 1 week shy of 1 year old, even though about 200 pounds apiece. The Cane Corso breed takes two years to mature. Another few more months and they could have taken any pit bull, probably would have taken out the dognappers, too. I still miss my girls.

Like I said, I don't live in the best of neighborhoods.

Call the cops?

[Big Frank]

If it's anything like my neighborhood it takes the cops a couple days to show up for an attemped murder. Anything less than that... don't count on them showing up at all. If they do show up they give me all kinds of attitude, like all the assaults on me are a big inconvenience to them. And in my case a lot of off-duty cops work as private security in a nearby neighborhood full of mansions. After they're done moonlighting for the mayor and other rich businessmen, they're too tired and/or lazy to do their regular job. 1 mile makes all the difference in the world here. I'm one of the have-nots. I have redneck neighbors too.

[Sponsor]

[Hazcat]

I take offense at the 'redneck' stereotyping here.

Ther ARE dumb ass hicks al la "Beverly Hillbillies" BUT, "Rednecks" are good, honest, hard working, every day folks!

[Big Frank]

There's a redneck I used to work with who's initials are JD. He's even more of a slob than JD8 but if I told you all the nasty details you would lose your lunch. He's the only person I know of to be told by management and the union to go home, take a shower, and change his clothes. Another giuy went over his house to fix his computer and there was a knife covered with peanut butter lying in the middle of the stairway. A couple weeks later when he went to fix the computer again the knife was still lying there on the stairway and still covered with peanut butter. FYI, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches don't fit in a computer disk drive but his kids managed to get one in the VCR. 

Is JD8s Jesus statue throwing gang signs or what? 

[Pathfinder]

I feel for you. Since about 5 months ago, I am awakened by the crowing of a rooster in my urban neighborhood. I suspect they are being raised for other than eggs. Can you say "cock fight"?

From the physical evidence, I think my dogs were kidnapped and used for dog fighting. When I found their bodies, they were all scarred up, but they were left lying, posed as if sleeping, on the side of the road at the entrance of my street. One had been strangled. I figure they must have taken out a few pit bulls before they tired, and were laid out in respect. They were 1 week shy of 1 year old, even though about 200 pounds apiece. The Cane Corso breed takes two years to mature. Another few more months and they could have taken any pit bull, probably would have taken out the dognappers, too. I still miss my girls.

Like I said, I don't live in the best of neighborhoods.

Raygun, that seriously sucks. I have 2 females - an Aussie and an OES, and I know I would move heaven and earth if they disappeared. And I would move it armed. If that kind of crap is going on in your neighborhood, then the cops are lazy, corrupt or seriously disinterested in doing their jobs. Dog fighting ain't just about the dogs, the people who engage in this "sport" are serious sickos who are engaged in, or complicit, in other illegal and reprehensible things.

[Rastus]

I take offense at the 'redneck' stereotyping here.

Ther ARE dumb ass hicks al la "Beverly Hillbillies" BUT, "Rednecks" are good, honest, hard working, every day folks!

I'm with Haz.  Thugs, liars and other associated human debris aren't rednecks...they are criminals and leaches.  When someone sees a guy with a gun he's a dumb redneck...never mind he may be some hotshot corporate executive on vacation....and when that monniker is used in that setting it's used to disparage all gun owners by lumping them with the human debris.  Or to disparage other things that liberals and elitist don't like or feel uncomfortable with. 

One of the predominant things associated with rednecks is guns....all that other stereotyped toothless, drunk, sister-marrying morass is used to support, in part or in whole, the liberal mantra that only stupid people carry guns.

I agree with Haz.

[shooter32]

I'm with Haz.  Thugs, liars and other associated human debris aren't rednecks...they are criminals and leaches.  When someone sees a guy with a gun he's a dumb redneck...never mind he may be some hotshot corporate executive on vacation....and when that monniker is used in that setting it's used to disparage all gun owners by lumping them with the human debris.  Or to disparage other things that liberals and elitist don't like or feel uncomfortable with. 

One of the predominant things associated with rednecks is guns....all that other stereotyped toothless, drunk, sister-marrying morass is used to support, in part or in whole, the liberal mantra that only stupid people carry guns.

I agree with Haz.

Rastus you nailed it. Well said.