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Author Topic: Classic joke thread...  (Read 1366953 times)

PegLeg45

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5830 on: March 21, 2024, 06:18:04 PM »
HR Manager: You can't call other employees 'foreskins'
Me: Well, they disappear when things get hard.
HR Manager: You still can't
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"I expect perdition, I always have. I keep this building at my back, and several guns handy, in case perdition arrives in a form that's susceptible to bullets. I expect it will come in the disease form, though. I'm susceptible to diseases, and you can't shoot a damned disease." ~ Judge Roy Bean, Streets of Laredo

For the Patriots of this country, the Constitution is second only to the Bible for most. For those who love this country, but do not share my personal beliefs, it is their Bible. To them nothing comes before the Constitution of these United States of America. For this we are all labeled potential terrorists. ~ Dean Garrison

"When it comes to the enemy, just because they ain't pullin' a trigger, doesn't mean they ain't totin' ammo for those that are."~PegLeg

PegLeg45

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5831 on: March 21, 2024, 07:17:15 PM »
 :o
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"I expect perdition, I always have. I keep this building at my back, and several guns handy, in case perdition arrives in a form that's susceptible to bullets. I expect it will come in the disease form, though. I'm susceptible to diseases, and you can't shoot a damned disease." ~ Judge Roy Bean, Streets of Laredo

For the Patriots of this country, the Constitution is second only to the Bible for most. For those who love this country, but do not share my personal beliefs, it is their Bible. To them nothing comes before the Constitution of these United States of America. For this we are all labeled potential terrorists. ~ Dean Garrison

"When it comes to the enemy, just because they ain't pullin' a trigger, doesn't mean they ain't totin' ammo for those that are."~PegLeg

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5832 on: March 22, 2024, 07:31:18 PM »
What do you call a bird that's hit with a lawnmower? Shredded Tweet.

I think I was a kid when I heard that. If that doesn't fit the definition of a "classic joke" I don't know what does. :)  I also don't know why I thought of it but I'm very hungry and about to eat some turkey jerky. Not shredded tweet, but close.
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

TAB

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5833 on: March 24, 2024, 03:02:48 PM »
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I always break all the clay pigeons,  some times its even with lead.

alfsauve

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5834 on: March 24, 2024, 03:44:59 PM »
Well it is just a Chevrolet after all.
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Will work for ammo
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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5835 on: Today at 09:37:01 AM »
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Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5835 on: March 24, 2024, 07:02:26 PM »
Quote from: alfsauve on March 24, 2024, 03:44:59 PM
Well it is just a Chevrolet after all.

Watch it, Mister. It's not a truck problem, it's a people problem. There's a nut loose behind the wheel, and another on the passenger side. An ID10T problem if there ever was one.
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5836 on: March 24, 2024, 07:06:05 PM »
I found out Wikipedia has a Prostitution symbol. And I already knew they had a Smiley face, so...  ;D


And I made the tires match. The ho isn't leaning on the car hard enough to flatten out the tread on that side of the car.
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5837 on: March 24, 2024, 07:08:18 PM »
 :)
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Jim Kennedy-ar154me

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5838 on: March 26, 2024, 08:42:41 AM »


Two tall trees, a birch, and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small
tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch,
'Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?
The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.
The birch says, 'Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?'
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, 'It is
neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch.
It is, however, the best little piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.'
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The time for action is upon us and the enemy is at our gates. Let us not allow them one more inch of advancement but instead throw them through the gates of Hell.

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5839 on: March 26, 2024, 03:05:59 PM »
This is funny. Trump Hair Cotton Candy. I just ordered some.

Off the top of your head, what is Trump’s most distinctive feature?

Yes, we know.  We couldn’t resist labeling our fluffy and sweet butterscotch flavored cotton candy in his likeness.  And in case your comb-over needs fluffing, this can double as a toupee!  Democrats and Republicans agree, our cotton candy is the sweetest!

https://mygourmetcottoncandy.com/product/trump-hair-cotton-candy/
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher
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