« previous next »
Pages: 1 ... 557 558 [559] 560 561 ... 590   Go Down

Author Topic: Classic joke thread...  (Read 1369202 times)

PegLeg45

  • NRA Life, SAF, Constitutionalist
  • Top Forum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 13079
  • DRTV Ranger
  • Liked:
  • Likes Given: 1048
Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5580 on: April 03, 2023, 05:59:52 PM »
 8)
Logged
"I expect perdition, I always have. I keep this building at my back, and several guns handy, in case perdition arrives in a form that's susceptible to bullets. I expect it will come in the disease form, though. I'm susceptible to diseases, and you can't shoot a damned disease." ~ Judge Roy Bean, Streets of Laredo

For the Patriots of this country, the Constitution is second only to the Bible for most. For those who love this country, but do not share my personal beliefs, it is their Bible. To them nothing comes before the Constitution of these United States of America. For this we are all labeled potential terrorists. ~ Dean Garrison

"When it comes to the enemy, just because they ain't pullin' a trigger, doesn't mean they ain't totin' ammo for those that are."~PegLeg

Jim Kennedy-ar154me

  • Top Forum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 979
  • NRA Life Member
  • Liked:
  • Likes Given: 1448
Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5581 on: April 04, 2023, 08:30:23 AM »
Quote from: PegLeg45 on April 03, 2023, 05:59:52 PM
8)

Someone is going to have one hell of a burn mark!
Logged
The time for action is upon us and the enemy is at our gates. Let us not allow them one more inch of advancement but instead throw them through the gates of Hell.

billt

  • Top Forum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6736
  • Liked:
  • Likes Given: 459
Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5582 on: April 04, 2023, 10:08:47 AM »
Quote from: J. Kennedy-ar154me on April 04, 2023, 08:30:23 AM
Someone is going to have one hell of a burn mark!

Not to mention a big skid mark!
Logged

Jim Kennedy-ar154me

  • Top Forum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 979
  • NRA Life Member
  • Liked:
  • Likes Given: 1448
Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5583 on: April 04, 2023, 11:32:03 AM »
Quote from: billt on April 04, 2023, 10:08:47 AM
Not to mention a big skid mark!


 :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
Logged
The time for action is upon us and the enemy is at our gates. Let us not allow them one more inch of advancement but instead throw them through the gates of Hell.

Big Frank

  • NRA Benefactor Member
  • Top Forum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 9652
  • DRTV Ranger
  • Liked:
  • Likes Given: 1110
Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5584 on: April 04, 2023, 09:05:47 PM »
For the first time this year I had over 100 fuel points in a month to use at Kroger, 300+ that expired last Friday. So I got gas last Thursday. I got 30 cents off per gallon for my points + another 25 cents per gallon off because I used my Kroger credit card that I previously charged a lot of other stuff too. I filled a few gas cans and topped off my gas hog with Premium for 3.949/gallon instead of $4.499. My Fuel savings was $13.51.

It was worse 5 months earlier when I filled up because I was a lot lower on gas. It was $4.999/gallon for Mid-Grade and I only got 3 cents off per gallon. I think I had a bunch of fuel points, otherwise I wouldn't have bought so much gas at once, and got screwed out of my discount.

Remember when they had to use masking tape and magic markers, etc. to add a number 1 to the gas pumps when the price went up to $1.00 a gallon, because the gas pumps didn't have a third fourth digit on them? They maxed out at $.999/gallon! Now they're all set up to go up to $99.999/gallon or $999.999/gallon.

I like to think the person who came up with that 9/10 cent bullshit has a special place in hell. An extra warm and toasty spot by the hearth if you get my drift.
Logged
""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Sponsor

  • Guest
Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5585 on: Today at 03:40:29 PM »
Logged

Big Frank

  • NRA Benefactor Member
  • Top Forum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 9652
  • DRTV Ranger
  • Liked:
  • Likes Given: 1110
Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5585 on: April 05, 2023, 06:37:04 AM »
Quote from: PegLeg45 on April 03, 2023, 05:59:52 PM
8)

That reminds me of this "rifle butt" picture. That's one way to gain some elevation.
Logged
""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Big Frank

  • NRA Benefactor Member
  • Top Forum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 9652
  • DRTV Ranger
  • Liked:
  • Likes Given: 1110
Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5586 on: April 12, 2023, 06:12:03 AM »
If a woman ever says to a man, "No strings attached", its a safe bet there are many strings attached. Enough to weave a tapestry. Maybe enough for a blanket to smother you. If this is ever in a book of famous quotes, remember, you read it here first. ;) ;D

I'm almost certain I posted this pic before, but wanted to be sure I post it before I delete it. As our British friends might say, I can't be arsed to see I already posted it or not.
Logged
""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

TAB

  • DRTV Rangers
  • Top Forum Member
  • *
  • Posts: 9974
  • Liked:
  • Likes Given: 92
Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5587 on: April 14, 2023, 08:38:50 AM »



the truth is both funny and painful.
Logged
I always break all the clay pigeons,  some times its even with lead.

Big Frank

  • NRA Benefactor Member
  • Top Forum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 9652
  • DRTV Ranger
  • Liked:
  • Likes Given: 1110
Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5588 on: April 14, 2023, 10:41:14 PM »
My best friend's oldest son is getting married next month. I don't know why. Only 1 out of 8 couples in his his age group gets married anymore. Everyone knows I don't dance, but since it's a rare and special occasion, I thought I would surprise everyone at the reception with my hot dance moves. I've been taking lessons 3 days a week for over a month so far. But all my lessons are worthless if they don't have a stripper pole at the reception.

^ 72% TRUE.
Logged
""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

PegLeg45

  • NRA Life, SAF, Constitutionalist
  • Top Forum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 13079
  • DRTV Ranger
  • Liked:
  • Likes Given: 1048
Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5589 on: April 15, 2023, 06:35:55 PM »
 8)
Logged
"I expect perdition, I always have. I keep this building at my back, and several guns handy, in case perdition arrives in a form that's susceptible to bullets. I expect it will come in the disease form, though. I'm susceptible to diseases, and you can't shoot a damned disease." ~ Judge Roy Bean, Streets of Laredo

For the Patriots of this country, the Constitution is second only to the Bible for most. For those who love this country, but do not share my personal beliefs, it is their Bible. To them nothing comes before the Constitution of these United States of America. For this we are all labeled potential terrorists. ~ Dean Garrison

"When it comes to the enemy, just because they ain't pullin' a trigger, doesn't mean they ain't totin' ammo for those that are."~PegLeg
Pages: 1 ... 557 558 [559] 560 561 ... 590   Go Up
« previous next »
 

SMF spam blocked by CleanTalk