Classic joke thread...

[Magoo541]

FIFY

+1

Exactly what I was thinking, too bad they can vote in big cities.

[philw]

I was in the shop today, and there was a little boy crying because he wanted some chocolate buttons.

"I haven't got enough money," his mother said to him.

"I've got some spare change on me, I'll buy them," I said to her.

"Are you sure about that?," she said.

"Of course," I replied, "I haven't had chocolate buttons in ages, so it'll be a nice treat for me."

[philw]

My boss called me into his office this morning and showed me a piece of paper.

He said, "Monday you turned up at 9:13am, Tuesday you turned up at 9:09am and Wednesday you rolled in at 9:20am, this is not acceptable."

"Sorry," I replied, "But at least I was in at 8:57am this morning."

"Phil, you start at 6."

[Solus]

This link will take you to 3 videos of men making fools of themselves over women.  The ladies will love them....but we should remember ..it could happen to us.

The link is to a Frontsight web page, but just ignore the text and watch the videos....worth a few laughs for me  


http://www.ignatius-piazza-front-sight.com/2012/09/08/front-sights-laugh-out-loud-of-the-week/

[santahog]

Where did you find this joke? and How did Auburn become the setting?  Dang Tasmanians!    From a proud Auburn alumus, WAR EAGLE!

OHH, and 2?
Roll Tide!!

[Sponsor]

[tombogan03884]

Enjoy ! 

http://www.politesociety.com/binladenliquors_ol10%5B1%5D.swf

[sledgemeister]

Letter as published in the english newspaper The Sun

Tolerance .. I am truly perplexed that so many of my friends are against another mosque being built in London on the Thames ? I think it should be the goal of every Englishman to be tolerant. Thus the Mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance.

That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque, thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque. We could call one of the clubs, which would be gay, "The Turban Cowboy", and the other a topless bar called "You Mecca Me Hot."

Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that an open-pit barbeque pork restaurant, called "Iraq o' Ribs."
Across the street there could be a lingerie store called "Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret ", with sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods.
Next door to the lingerie shop there would be room for an adult sex toy shop, "Koranal Knowledge ", its name in flashing neon lights, and on the other side a liquor store called "Morehammered."


All of this would encourage the Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance they demand of us, so the mosque problem would be solved. If you agree with promoting tolerance, and you think this is a good plan, please publish my letter.

 

[TAB]

My dick is a gentalmen.  It always stands up so a lady has a aplace to sit.

[tombogan03884]

Life is like a penis, soft and hanging out.\
Then a woman comes along and makes it hard.

[tombogan03884]

Mowed the lawn today, and after doing so, I sat down and had a
couple nice cold "Silver Bullets."  The day was really quite beautiful,
and the brew facilitated some deep thinking on various topics.
Finally I thought about an age old question: Is giving birth more
painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that
giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.

Well, after another beer, and some heavy deductive thinking, I have
come up with the answer to that question.
 
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby; and
here is the reason for my conclusion…

A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "it might be
nice to have another child." On the other hand, you never hear a guy
say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."

I rest my case.