Classic joke thread...

[TAB]

so self respecting southern would carry a kimber

[tt11758]

so No self-respecting southerner would carry could afford a kimberKimber.

FIFY

[Majer]

OK,I went back and fixed it again...

[deepwater]

 The Blue Pigeon.

The mayor of Phoenix , AZ was very worried about a plague of pigeons in Phoenix ..

He could not remove the pigeons from the city. All of Phoenix was full of pigeon poop, the people of Phoenix could not walk on the sidewalks, or drive on the roads.

It was costing a fortune to keep the streets and sidewalks clean.

One day a man came

to City Hall and offered the Mayor a proposition.

'I can rid your beautiful city of its plague of pigeons without any cost to the city. But, you must promise not to ask me any questions.
Or, you can pay me one million dollars to ask one question.'

The mayor considered the offer briefly and accepted the free proposition.

The next day the man climbed to the top of City Hall, opened his coat, and released a blue pigeon. The blue pigeon circled in the air and flew up into the bright blue Arizona sky.

All the pigeons in Phoenix saw the blue pigeon and gathered up in the air behind the blue pigeon. The Phoenix pigeons followed the blue pigeon as she flew southward out of the city.

The next day the blue pigeon returned completely alone to the man atop City Hall.

The Mayor was very impressed. He felt the man and the blue pigeon had performed a wonderful miraculous feat to rid Phoenix of the plague of pigeons.

Even though the man with the pigeon had charged nothing,the mayor presented him with a check for 1 million dollars and told the man that, indeed, he did have a question to ask and even though they had agreed to no fee and the man had rid the city of pigeons, he decided to pay the 1 million just to get to ask ONE question.

The man accepted the money and told the mayor to ask his ONE question.

Do you think the Mayor is going to ask how the blue pigeon led all the pigeons away?

Do you think the Mayor is going to ask where all the pigeons went?

Do you think he is going to ask where the man got the blue pigeon?


Nooooooo!

This will get a smile out of you!


The mayor asked:


'Do you have a blue Mexican?

[tombogan03884]

You don't need the Blue Mexican to get rid of all the illegals and blacks.
What you need is lots of jobs and no welfare.

[Sponsor]

[Majer]

A man walks into the doctors office and tells the doctor his leg is bothering him. The man is told to take off his pants and sit up on the table and the doctor examines his leg. After a couple minutes the doctor takes his stethoscope and places it on the mans thigh. Through the stethoscope he hears "Hey Doc can you lend me a couple bucks?". Moving down to the mans knee he hears "Can I borrow $10 till payday?" The doctor then listens at the mans ankle and hears "Hey buddy can you lend me $5?" the doctor puts the stethoscope away and tells the man he knows what the problem is. "What is it asks the man?" The doctors replies "Your leg is broke in three places"

[deepwater]

so......

Light travels much faster than sound.

Which clearly explains why some people appear brilliant,

until you hear them talk..

[Majer]

I just got off the phone with a friend living in northern Minnesota near the Canadian border. He said that since early this morning the snow is nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping and is at about 15 degrees and the north wind is increasing to near gale force.
His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare.

He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.

[tt11758]

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped
at a roadside restaurant for lunch.



After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip.

When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly
left her glasses on the table, and she didn't
miss them until they had been driving for
about forty minutes.

By then, to add to the aggravation, they
had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around,
in order to return to the restaurant to
retrieve her glasses.

All the way back, the elderly husband
became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained, and scolded
his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her,
the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up for a single minute.

To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant.
As the woman got out of the car, and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her,

While you're in there, you might as well
get my hat and the
credit card.






Somehow I don't find that nearly as funny as I might've 10 years ago.

[kmitch200]

A California Love Story
 
 A man was lying in bed with his new girlfriend. After having great sex ... She spent the next hour just rubbing his testicles ....... Something she just loved to do.

As he was enjoying it, he turned and asked her, "Why do you love doing that?"

Because ... She Replied .....


"I Really Miss Mine"

 
I told you it was a California Love Story