Classic joke thread...

[kmitch200]

I found a note on the fridge this morning from the wife.

It said.  "This isn't working, I can't take it anymore!! Gone to stay with my Mother"

I opened the fridge, the light came on and the beer was cold.........
 
What the hell is she talking about?

[tt11758]

The rest of us already saw it here.   

Zactly!!

[tt11758]

This 80 year old woman was arrested for shoplifting.


When she went before the judge in Cincinnati he asked her, "What did you steal?"


She replied, "A can of peaches."


The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches.


She replied that she was hungry.






 
The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can.


She replied, "6."


The judge said, "Then I will give you 6 days in jail."


Before the judge could conclude the trial, the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.


The judge said, "What is it?"





The husband said, "She also stole a can of peas."

[Big Frank]

I can't remember where I got this.   

[Solus]

Only got two right....I came up with    boots, random, flak, pints, purse and six.

Now for extra credit what word starts with F and ends with UCK?























 

 .


 
















firetruck, of course

[Sponsor]

[ellis4538]

 My wife was screaming at me: "Leave!!  Get out of this house!" she ordered.
 
As I was walking out the door she yelled, "I hope you die a slow and painful death!"
 
So I turned around and replied "So now you want me to stay?"

[kmitch200]

I found a picture of your girlfirend in a thong.

[sledgemeister]

Difference between Grandpa's and Grandma's


Ever wondered what the difference between Grannies and Grandads is?

5 year old granddaughter is usually taken to school, daily, by her grandfather.

When he had a bad cold his wife took the grandchild.

That night she told her parents that the ride to school with granny was very different!!

"What made it different?" asked her parents:

"Gran and I didn't see a single tosser, blind bastard, dickhead, Asian prick or wanker

anywhere on the way to school today!'

[sledgemeister]

Animal Testing - important news from Australia

The Australian C.S.I.R.O. have announced that live rabbits will no longer be used in their scientific experiments.


Muslims will now be used instead...........


A top scientist has stated that the advantage of using Muslims is they breed just as fast as rabbits, but you don't get fond of them

[Steve Cover]

It Figures

Steve