The Down Range Forum

Member Section => Down Range Cafe => Topic started by: crusader rabbit on April 01, 2010, 09:19:59 AM

Title: 75% of Florida Mini-mart Customers Pack Heat (actual real life survey)
Post by: crusader rabbit on April 01, 2010, 09:19:59 AM
So Haz and I found ourselves in need of something beer-like to slake a building thirst after several hours of conversating and coming up with solutions for many of the world’s problems.  And, since the current batch of homebrew won’t be ready for another few days we decided to go to a local purveyor of said beer-like product and purchase a couple of sixers of Red Stripe.

Haz knows the store owner well, having made similar purchases on numerous occasions over many years.  In fact, Haz knows him well enough to know the guy packs a .32 semi-auto in an SOB holster.

As fate would have it, the owner was standing off to the side and we got a new cashier who didn’t happen to know the price of the Red Stripe.  And as he tried to figure out what he should do, four other customers got in line behind Haz and me.

He finally asked the boss who looked over, saw it was Haz, and said something like, “Charge him double,” to which Haz replied:  “Careful now…  I can get to mine faster than you can get to yours.”

And that prompted the guy behind me to say, “And I can get to mine pretty fast, too.”  And the guy behind him said, “Mine’s pretty handy, as well.”  And the fellow behind him said, as he patted his beltline “Got mine right here, too.”

Then everybody had a laugh—except the last guy in line, probably a Democrat, who had no idea what anyone was talking about.

I had a giggle over the fact that out of 8 guys at the mini-mart (6 in line and 2 behind the counter), 6 were packing heat. 

I love living in Florida.
 ;D
Title: Re: 75% of Florida Mini-mart Customers Pack Heat (actual real life survey)
Post by: SwoopSJ on April 01, 2010, 09:51:30 AM
I've spent quite a bit of time in Florida over the years and I'm surprised that anyone there goes unarmed.  If nothing else, you need protection from the local wildlife (and I don't mean college students).   ;D  The insects there are large and frisky enough to carry a good sized man away and bug spray would only serve to tic them off.   :o

Swoop

Title: Re: 75% of Florida Mini-mart Customers Pack Heat (actual real life survey)
Post by: ericire12 on April 01, 2010, 10:10:19 AM
Welcome to the Quickie Mart!
Title: Re: 75% of Florida Mini-mart Customers Pack Heat (actual real life survey)
Post by: Timothy on April 01, 2010, 10:54:40 AM
"Conversating"  ?????????????

Haven't we covered that....?

It's "Conversing".....To engage in a spoken exchange of thoughts, ideas, or feelings; talk'

Geez....... ;)
Title: Re: 75% of Florida Mini-mart Customers Pack Heat (actual real life survey)
Post by: shooter32 on April 01, 2010, 10:57:51 AM
"Conversating"  ?????????????

That's what they do in their neck of the woods!  ;D
Title: Re: 75% of Florida Mini-mart Customers Pack Heat (actual real life survey)
Post by: Hazcat on April 01, 2010, 11:08:27 AM
"Conversating"  ?????????????

Haven't we covered that....?

It's "Conversing".....To engage in a spoken exchange of thoughts, ideas, or feelings; talk'

Geez....... ;)

Lost yer funny bone?
Title: Re: 75% of Florida Mini-mart Customers Pack Heat (actual real life survey)
Post by: Timothy on April 01, 2010, 11:14:13 AM
Lost yer funny bone?

Nope, got two at least... ;D

All in good fun Haz.... ;)
Title: Re: 75% of Florida Mini-mart Customers Pack Heat (actual real life survey)
Post by: tombogan03884 on April 01, 2010, 11:22:02 AM
Lost yer funny bone?

No, he found his dictionary  ;D
Title: Re: 75% of Florida Mini-mart Customers Pack Heat (actual real life survey)
Post by: Hazcat on April 01, 2010, 11:29:40 AM
No, he found his dictionary  ;D

AH!  I KNEW that sounded too erudite for the Tim I know!


;D
Title: Re: 75% of Florida Mini-mart Customers Pack Heat (actual real life survey)
Post by: Timothy on April 01, 2010, 11:36:44 AM
Come on fellas, I'm "wicked smaaat", just aks me!

(erudite?  where's my @&%*ing thesaurus) rassa,frassa, friggin cat, geez!)  .....

 ;D

Title: Re: 75% of Florida Mini-mart Customers Pack Heat (actual real life survey)
Post by: Hazcat on April 01, 2010, 11:44:05 AM
Come on fellas, I'm "wicked smaaat", just aks me!

(erudite?  where's my @&%*ing thesaurus) rassa,frassa, friggin cat, geez!)  .....

 ;D



OK, try this: "It sounded more smarter than the Tim I know."

;)
Title: Re: 75% of Florida Mini-mart Customers Pack Heat (actual real life survey)
Post by: Timothy on April 01, 2010, 11:47:41 AM
OK, try this: "It sounded more smarter than the Tim I know."

;)

I got nuttin......blurp, smeagle, snortk....drool.....Damn!  17 years of college down the crapper...good thing I'm pretty!

 8)
Title: Re: 75% of Florida Mini-mart Customers Pack Heat (actual real life survey)
Post by: Hazcat on April 01, 2010, 11:57:02 AM
I got nuttin......blurp, smeagle, snortk....drool.....Damn!  17 years of college down the crapper...good thing I'm pretty!

 8)

See, right there's yer problem.  'S only supposed ta take 4!  ;D

I mean looks at me, I ken communicates real gud an I never even wents ta kolledge!
Title: Re: 75% of Florida Mini-mart Customers Pack Heat (actual real life survey)
Post by: PegLeg45 on April 01, 2010, 12:14:51 PM
See, right there's yer problem.  'S only supposed ta take 4!  ;D

I mean looks at me, I ken communicates real gud an I never even wents ta kolledge!

Not even 'Cat College'? ......You coulda' joined a 'Feline Fraternity'.    ;D  ;D







I know, ***GROAN***
Title: Re: 75% of Florida Mini-mart Customers Pack Heat (actual real life survey)
Post by: twyacht on April 01, 2010, 05:44:56 PM
AMEN! Based on the lines and folks taking the CCW course, and the continued efforts of the FL legislature wanting to raid the Dept. Of Agricultures funds, which issue the CCW license, FL. should have a million LEGAL CCW holders by the 2012 election.

Now if we can get rid of that RINO Crist, and remember the old FL. bumper stickers:

1) We don't care how you did it in New York
2) If you Love NY so much, get on I-95 North and don't stop.
3) Last American leaving Miami, please take the Flag

Here in Broward County, we might hold the line.... 8) I'd put the "legal" CCW ratio here at 55-70%.

Hard to tell with those fancy pocket holsters and IWB rigs,..... ;).

Title: Re: 75% of Florida Mini-mart Customers Pack Heat (actual real life survey)
Post by: seeker_two on April 02, 2010, 07:40:13 AM
"Conversating"  ?????????????


Yes....."conversating" is what they do in those high-falutin' states like Florida.....in Texas, we'd just be "jawin' "......  ;D
Title: Re: 75% of Florida Mini-mart Customers Pack Heat (actual real life survey)
Post by: crusader rabbit on April 02, 2010, 07:49:45 AM
"Conversating"  ?????????????
Tim, the use of a “Southernism” was done specifically to set the light, good-old-boy, friendly, blue-collar tenor of the missive that followed.   It is a literary device employed by many throughout history—Charles Dickens comes immediately to mind.  My intent was to establish a tone more along the lines of Larry-the-Cable-Guy than along the lines of William F. Buckley.

Immediately following was another literary device known as hyperbole—or something grandly exaggerated specifically for effect. 

Haz and I did not, in actual fact, solve any of the world’s problems.  If you check your morning paper, you may confirm this for yourself.   We have difficulty enough solving our own personal problems without taking on the entire world.

Finally, “conversating” was used not because either Haz or I suffer from vocabulary reduction syndrome. Between the two of us, we know virtually every word that is knowable.  It’s not at all surprising that the good people at Roget’s may call us when stumped for a word.  (There’s that hyperbole, again.) 

I will plead guilty to an indiscriminate usage of my rather vast vocabulary and I pledge to you, Tim, to try and keep it more in tune with the half vast verbiage with which you are more comfortable. ;D

Submitted for your consideration in the friendliest possible manner,
Crusader
Title: Re: 75% of Florida Mini-mart Customers Pack Heat (actual real life survey)
Post by: fightingquaker13 on April 02, 2010, 07:54:44 AM
It reminds me of that "Miami Vice" episode where the lights go out in the court room. When they come back up, virtually everyone, from the judge to the clerk to the cops and witnesses  has their piece out. As his honor said "This is a great testimonial to our Second Ammedmend rights. Now, can we put the guns away?"  Bienvenidos a Florida.;D 8)
FQ13 Who is carrying a gun if he's wearing pants and not on government property.
Title: Re: 75% of Florida Mini-mart Customers Pack Heat (actual real life survey)
Post by: fightingquaker13 on April 02, 2010, 08:03:28 AM
Tim, the use of a “Southernism” was done specifically to set the light, good-old-boy, friendly, blue-collar tenor of the missive that followed.   It is a literary device employed by many throughout history—Charles Dickens comes immediately to mind.  My intent was to establish a tone more along the lines of Larry-the-Cable-Guy than along the lines of William F. Buckley.

Immediately following was another literary device known as hyperbole—or something grandly exaggerated specifically for effect. 

Haz and I did not, in actual fact, solve any of the world’s problems.  If you check your morning paper, you may confirm this for yourself.   We have difficulty enough solving our own personal problems without taking on the entire world.

Finally, “conversating” was used not because either Haz or I suffer from vocabulary reduction syndrome. Between the two of us, we know virtually every word that is knowable.  It’s not at all surprising that the good people at Roget’s may call us when stumped for a word.  (There’s that hyperbole, again.) 

I will plead guilty to an indiscriminate usage of my rather vast vocabulary and I pledge to you, Tim, to try and keep it more in tune with the half vast verbiage with which you are more comfortable. ;D

Submitted for your consideration in the friendliest possible manner,
Crusader
Crusader
While I appreciate your use of the venacular/dialect, cf. "converstating" and also your wide knowledge of the Queens English, what you might gain in the way of erudition, pales in comparison to the number of innocent electrons slain in your voluminious post. When dealing with the likes of Tim, sometimes less is more. Just call him a damn yankee and  leave it at that. ;D
FQ13
Title: Re: 75% of Florida Mini-mart Customers Pack Heat (actual real life survey)
Post by: Timothy on April 02, 2010, 08:13:19 AM
Tim, the use of a “Southernism” was done specifically to set the light, good-old-boy, friendly, blue-collar tenor of the missive that followed.   It is a literary device employed by many throughout history—Charles Dickens comes immediately to mind.  My intent was to establish a tone more along the lines of Larry-the-Cable-Guy than along the lines of William F. Buckley.

Immediately following was another literary device known as hyperbole—or something grandly exaggerated specifically for effect. 

Haz and I did not, in actual fact, solve any of the world’s problems.  If you check your morning paper, you may confirm this for yourself.   We have difficulty enough solving our own personal problems without taking on the entire world.

Finally, “conversating” was used not because either Haz or I suffer from vocabulary reduction syndrome. Between the two of us, we know virtually every word that is knowable.  It’s not at all surprising that the good people at Roget’s may call us when stumped for a word.  (There’s that hyperbole, again.) 

I will plead guilty to an indiscriminate usage of my rather vast vocabulary and I pledge to you, Tim, to try and keep it more in tune with the half vast verbiage with which you are more comfortable. ;D

Submitted for your consideration in the friendliest possible manner,
Crusader

Crusader,

I’ve obliviously misunderestimated your command of the grammatical profundetry as delineated in your afourmensioned statement.

Respectfully submitted…..in the most respectful submission of respectfulness, Kind Sir…

Timmy     ;D ;D ;D ;D

p.s. FQ.....I've mentioned 'afor that I'm from Michigan and therefor considerably less Yankee than most...
Title: Re: 75% of Florida Mini-mart Customers Pack Heat (actual real life survey)
Post by: JC5123 on April 02, 2010, 08:46:13 AM
Thank GOD that this is a forum and not a ship! With the amount of drift around here, we would be so lost, we'd probably sail right off the edge of the world!   ;D  Keep up the good work fellas!
Title: Re: 75% of Florida Mini-mart Customers Pack Heat (actual real life survey)
Post by: crusader rabbit on April 02, 2010, 08:49:37 AM
p.s. FQ.....I've mentioned 'afor that I'm from Michigan and therefor considerably less Dam-Yankee than most...

There, I fixed it for you. LOL 

Quaker, doesn't it figure that a damyankee wouldn't even realize what he is.  Of course, if I were a damyankee, I'd want to minimize the damyankee-ness associated with myself, too. ;) 
Title: Re: 75% of Florida Mini-mart Customers Pack Heat (actual real life survey)
Post by: crusader rabbit on April 02, 2010, 08:52:14 AM
Thank GOD that this is a forum and not a ship! With the amount of drift around here, we would be so lost, we'd probably sail right off the edge of the world!   ;D  Keep up the good work fellas!

Did I just hear something go SPLASH?
Title: Re: 75% of Florida Mini-mart Customers Pack Heat (actual real life survey)
Post by: Timothy on April 02, 2010, 09:25:27 AM
Thank GOD that this is a forum and not a ship! With the amount of drift around here, we would be so lost, we'd probably sail right off the edge of the world!   ;D  Keep up the good work fellas!

Hey, a Sailor started the thread and a Sailor started the drift so maybe this is a ship!  Fair Winds and Following Seas, Matey!  

AAAAARRRGGHHH!!!

Respectfully submitted from a damyankee, AKA.....

Timmy ;)  (who lived in FL for a year and left because my Unka Sam sent me to Iceland)
Title: Re: 75% of Florida Mini-mart Customers Pack Heat (actual real life survey)
Post by: tombogan03884 on April 02, 2010, 09:51:24 AM
There, I fixed it for you. LOL  

Quaker, doesn't it figure that a damyankee wouldn't even realize what he is.  Of course, if I were a damyankee, I'd want to minimize the damyankee-ness associated with myself, too. ;)  

Just remember, Hiram Maxim was from Wells Maine, So you can kiss my pale, heavily bundled, Yankee a55  ;D

The definitions of a Yankee are :
Verb ; Like a "quickee, only with out company.
Noun; Some one who can buy from a Jew and sell to a Scotsman and still make a profit.
                                                 ;D
Title: Re: 75% of Florida Mini-mart Customers Pack Heat (actual real life survey)
Post by: Solus on April 02, 2010, 11:16:05 AM

I will plead guilty to an indiscriminate usage of my rather vast vocabulary and I pledge to you, Tim, to try and keep it more in tune with the half vast verbiage with which you are more comfortable. ;D

Crusader


half vast...LOL...I will have to remember that  :D :D
Title: Re: 75% of Florida Mini-mart Customers Pack Heat (actual real life survey)
Post by: seeker_two on April 02, 2010, 02:55:45 PM
Well...since I'm from central Texas, I consider ALL y'all Yankees... :)
Title: Re: 75% of Florida Mini-mart Customers Pack Heat (actual real life survey)
Post by: bulldog75 on April 02, 2010, 03:20:42 PM
Tom this yankee has your back.
Title: Re: 75% of Florida Mini-mart Customers Pack Heat (actual real life survey)
Post by: tombogan03884 on April 02, 2010, 03:24:52 PM
Semper Fi, Bulldog  ;D
Title: Re: 75% of Florida Mini-mart Customers Pack Heat (actual real life survey)
Post by: PegLeg45 on April 02, 2010, 03:26:10 PM
At one time, weren't we all called 'Yankees'?     ;)
Title: Re: 75% of Florida Mini-mart Customers Pack Heat (actual real life survey)
Post by: Solus on April 02, 2010, 04:25:18 PM
At one time, weren't we all called 'Yankees'? 

yeah...during the Revolutionary War, the British use is as a derogatory term to describe us and our soldiers.

We adopted the name and wore it with pride.

Just last month I was talking to a British friend and he was surprised to hear one of our Texas friends refer to us Northerners as Yankees.  He thought we all were Yankees.

I like to think we are all Yanks and proud of it...
Title: Re: 75% of Florida Mini-mart Customers Pack Heat (actual real life survey)
Post by: twyacht on April 02, 2010, 06:30:36 PM
Throw that "O" word at em' again CR...... ;D

Either way, I'm glad folks in FL. are getting their CCW's in record numbers. Legally. The criminals that carry anyway, need to realize thinking twice, may lead to them living another day...

Title: Re: 75% of Florida Mini-mart Customers Pack Heat (actual real life survey)
Post by: tombogan03884 on April 02, 2010, 07:29:26 PM
Those signs in foreign countries that used to read "Yankee go home" did not continue with "but everyone from South of NY can stay".
Title: Re: 75% of Florida Mini-mart Customers Pack Heat (actual real life survey)
Post by: Timothy on April 02, 2010, 07:33:48 PM
Throw that "O" word at em' again CR...... ;D

Either way, I'm glad folks in FL. are getting their CCW's in record numbers. Legally. The criminals that carry anyway, need to realize thinking twice, may lead to them living another day...

Believe it or don't.....my range has nearly doubled it's membership in the last year which means, since you need a license to belong to my club, we're doing pretty well up here too!  I don't know how many carry on a regular basis because we tend not to advertise the fact to the general bonehead on the street.