The Down Range Forum
Member Section => Down Range Cafe => Topic started by: Fatman on September 08, 2008, 10:03:31 PM
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I'll start with probably the oddest and funniest thing I've read in a while:
Authorities: Burglar wakes men with spice rub
Mon Sep 8, 4:44 PM ET
Authorities say they've arrested a man who broke into the home of two California farmworkers, stole money, rubbed one with spices and whacked the other with a sausage before fleeing.
Fresno County sheriff's Lt. Ian Burrimond says 22-year-old Antonio Vasquez was found hiding in a field wearing only a T-shirt, boxers and socks after the Saturday morning attack.
He says deputies arrested Vasquez after finding a wallet containing his ID in the ransacked house.
The farmworkers told deputies the suspect woke them Saturday morning by rubbing spices on one of them and smacking the other with an 8-inch sausage.
Burrimond says money allegedly stolen was recovered.
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Information from: The Fresno Bee, http://www.fresnobee.com
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080908/ap_on_fe_st/odd_sausage_attack;_ylt=Ak7xHb3zpwZVT1X9WKecUhAuQE4F (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080908/ap_on_fe_st/odd_sausage_attack;_ylt=Ak7xHb3zpwZVT1X9WKecUhAuQE4F)
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What the heck? That's so weird I had to email it to my friends.
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September 08, 2008
Kidnapping victim shoots abductors, killing one, deputies say
OLDSMAR -- Authorities say a Tampa-area kidnapping victim escaped capture by grabbing the gun of an abductor who was distracted by text messaging.
The Pinellas County Sheriff's Office is investigating the deadly Sunday night incident. Detectives say three men forced the male victim into their car at gunpoint. They hoped the victim would lead them to another man, with whom they were in a dispute over stolen coins. Authorities say the man sitting in the back with the victim laid his handgun on his lap while sending a text message. The victim grabbed the gun, fatally shot the man next to him and injured the one in the front passenger seat, authorities said, then ordered the driver to stop the car and called 911 after he escaped. Charges are pending against the two surviving suspects.
http://blogs.tampabay.com/breakingnews/2008/09/kidnapping-vict.html
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I'll start with probably the oddest and funniest thing I've read in a while:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080908/ap_on_fe_st/odd_sausage_attack;_ylt=Ak7xHb3zpwZVT1X9WKecUhAuQE4F (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080908/ap_on_fe_st/odd_sausage_attack;_ylt=Ak7xHb3zpwZVT1X9WKecUhAuQE4F)
This could only happen in California - 'The Land of the Fruits & Nuts', unless it's Florida like the next item!!!! But at least we have reasonable CCW laws & Castle Docs.
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This could only happen in California - 'The Land of the Fruits & Nuts', unless it's Florida like the next item!!!! But at least we have reasonable CCW laws & Castle Docs.
I call CA the Granola State because it's full of fruits, nuts, and flakes. ;D
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I'll start with probably the oddest and funniest thing I've read in a while:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080908/ap_on_fe_st/odd_sausage_attack;_ylt=Ak7xHb3zpwZVT1X9WKecUhAuQE4F (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080908/ap_on_fe_st/odd_sausage_attack;_ylt=Ak7xHb3zpwZVT1X9WKecUhAuQE4F)
How do they know it was a sausage?
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I call CA the Granola State because it's full of fruits, nuts, and flakes. ;D
I love it!!! Do you mind if I use it? ;D
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One of my favorites was printed twice in "Shooting Times" magazine -regular and 25th Anniversary issue- underDumb Crook Award tells of a guy who walked into a store and picked up a can of beans. He waited until there wasn't anyone in the store and he took his "purchase" to the counter and laid it down. Exposing himself, he damanded money. The check-out girl was not fazed for she picked up the can and slamed it where it would do the most good. The commentator speculated that "Next time he would probably bring a loaf of bread to check-out"!
Richard
PS: I couldn't make something like this up, honest.
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I love it!!! Do you mind if I use it? ;D
Be my guest. I probably got it from someone else anyway.
I wonder if they picked the sausage out of a police line-up? "Yeah, that's the one. Number 3."
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Calling California the "Granola state" was old the first time I heard it in the '60's!
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Weirdness abounds!
I thought it was unusual that the reporter specified the length of the sausage. Is that like the caliber in guns? (In my best cop type voice) "Man he is lucky that the perp didn't go for the foot long." ;D
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80 caliber assault sausage. You know they'll be calling for bans on them soon.
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Obama says you can own an 80 cal sausage if you purchased it legally. You just have to leave it in the meat case at the market.
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Lewd vandal leaves greasy imprints on Neb. town
By NATE JENKINS, Associated Press Writer 33 minutes ago
Boy, how people here wish their busiest vandal would find another way to make his mark. Beginning more than a year ago, some man has been skipping from one business to another at night, pressing his naked behind — sometimes his groin, sometimes both — on windows. Store owners, church workers and school janitors have had to wash lotion and petroleum jelly off the windows he selects.
"This is the weirdest case I've ever seen," said police Chief Ben McBride.
Some residents of Valentine, a town of about 2,650 people, find some humor in the strange vandalism and have taken to calling the perpetrator the "Butt Bandit." But they also can't help but cringe when finding his marks.
"We were completely grossed out," said Kalli Kieborz, who works in a downtown building. "One day I walked into the office and an employee said, 'Oh, my God, we've been struck!'"
The police chief is far from amused.
"It's not funny," McBride said. "We're worried about the next step."
It started in spring 2007, when the window of a Methodist church was greased with an imprint. McBride figured it was a high school prank. But the church kept getting hit, even after police staked it out.
The bandit struck business after business, window after window last summer.
Then he — and maybe, McBride said, copycat vandals — stopped over the fall and winter.
"People said he was done," McBride said. "Then he started back up this summer."
During one particularly brazen session, virtually all the windows at a local hotel were imprinted.
McBride said no one has reported seeing the vandal in action. The only clue is a blurry picture of him caught by a surveillance camera at the middle school last year.
The man was 6-feet-tall or slightly taller, and slender. He had a dark complexion, and McBride said the man's dark hair was styled in a "1980s, feathered look."
Valentine, in remote north-central Nebraska, promotes itself as "The Heart City." Downtown sidewalks are painted with hearts, and locals encourage people from around the country to send their Valentine's Day cards to the local post office so they can be mailed out with the word "Valentine" stamped on them.
"This is not normal behavior for Valentine," Cherry County Attorney Eric Scott said. "It's not funny or something people want to be exposed to."
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On the Net:
City of Valentine: http://www.valentine-ne.com/
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Stuck 'agent' tells cops of secret bomb mission
48 minutes ago
It wasn't the preferred way to enter the Knoxville Museum of Art, but Richard Anthony Smith told police he was on a mission. The 25-year-old Knoxville man called 911 from his cell phone before dawn Wednesday saying he was trapped in an air conditioning duct leading from the museum roof, Knoxville police spokesman Darrell DeBusk said.
Police and firefighters reached the roof, found a rope and cable and followed them to a vent shaft. Peering inside, they spotted Smith about 45 feet down.
"Mission failed," he told them.
Hoisted up and read his rights, Smith told police he was a "special agent from the United States Illuminati, badge number 0931" and had rappelled onto the museum from a helicopter, a police report said.
He said he was following orders to "defuse and confiscate" a Soviet-made nuclear warhead, specifically a "MERV6SS-22AN" warhead, according to the report. The bomb supposedly was hidden in a blue, plastic cow sculpture in the museum basement, he said.
However, Smith told officers his "agency" called while he was in air-vent limbo to say it made a mistake and the bomb might be in a Memphis museum instead.
Police charged Smith with aggravated robbery. He was being held on $2,000 bond at the Knox County Jail. Authorities said he did not have a lawyer.
"Fortunately he was able to reach his cell phone," DeBusk said, "or he may not have been found for quite some time."
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080917/ap_on_fe_st/odd_stuck_burglar (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080917/ap_on_fe_st/odd_stuck_burglar)
Can we start a collection to buy this guy a new tin foil hat?
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Can we start a collection to buy this guy a new tin foil hat?
Either that or get him writing scripts in Hollywood. I guess when you have time to think you can come up with a doozy of an excuse. Hell, he even has the insanity defense worked in already.
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Cops nab pair in same vehicle for drunken driving
Thu Oct 9, 6:31 PM ET
Fargo police said two men were arrested for drunken driving in the same vehicle. Police Lt. Pat Claus said an officer pulled over a 23-year-old man early Thursday morning. Claus said while that man was taking a sobriety test, a 24-year-old passenger got behind the wheel and tried to drive off.
Claus said the passenger was also arrested for drunken driving. Both men were taken to the Cass County jail.
Claus called the case "unique."
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UPDATE
After a Fresno man was beaten with an 8-inch sausage, police arrested Antonio Vasquez Jr. whom they found in a nearby field. But he's been cleared of charges. Prosecutors acknowledged they do not have enough evidence to file criminal charges against the 21-year-old man, who had been held at Fresno County Jail. Vasquez had been found in a open field wearing only a T-shirt, boxer shorts and socks shortly after the crime was committed.
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Got another good one here...A co-worker's mom is in prison for trying to kill her husband. Seems she took a .22 into the attic above their bedroom and fired a "Practice Shot" down thru the ceiling into the bed so that she could fire a high power rifle later as he slept. When she came down she saw that the .22 missed its intended mark so she moved the bed however much she needed. that evening after doing the dirty deed and claiming "It went off accidently as I was cleaning it!" police investigators discovered the .22. Woops!
Richard
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One of my favorites was printed twice in "Shooting Times" magazine -regular and 25th Anniversary issue- underDumb Crook Award tells of a guy who walked into a store and picked up a can of beans. He waited until there wasn't anyone in the store and he took his "purchase" to the counter and laid it down. Exposing himself, he damanded money. The check-out girl was not fazed for she picked up the can and slamed it where it would do the most good. The commentator speculated that "Next time he would probably bring a loaf of bread to check-out"!
Richard
PS: I couldn't make something like this up, honest.
I remember the Dumb Crook Awards. My favorite went something like this:
Two robbers entered a store with guns drawn. "Don't anyone move or I'll shoot you!" was yelled by one robber. The other robber moved and the first one shot him. Sounds like a good entry for the Darwin Award as well.
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[How Not to Rob a Bank
The following is an excerpt from Tim Clark's "How Not to Rob a Bank" Here
are some easy lessons gleaned from the experiences of a number of would-be
robbers.
PICK THE RIGHT BANK
You don't want to make the same mistake as the fellow in Anaheim, CA, who
tried to hold up a bank that was no longer in business and had no money.
STUDY YOUR HISTORY
Don't try to stick up the First National Bank of Northfield, Minnesota.
Jesse James tried it 111 years ago, and the townsfolk took just seven
minutes to kill two and capture three of his gang. Nobody tried again until
1984, and the customers chased the guy down. They're tight with their
dollar, those Minnesotans.
SPEAK TO THE RIGHT TELLER
One robber in Upland, CA, presented his note to the teller, and her father,
who was in the next line, got all bent out of shape about it. He wrestled
the guy to the ground and sat on him until authorities arrived.
DON'T SIGN YOUR DEMAND NOTE
Demand notes have been written on the back of a subpoena issued in the name
of a bank robber in Pittsburgh... on an envelope bearing the name and
address of another in Detroit....and in East Hartford, Connecticut, on the
back of a withdrawal slip giving the robber's signature and account number.
DON'T ADVERTISE
A teenage girl in Los Angeles tried to distract attention from her face by
wearing a see-through blouse with no bra while holding up banks.
GO EASY ON THE DISGUISE
One robber, dressed up as a woman with very heavy make-up, ran face first
into a glass door. He was the first criminal ever to be positively
identified by lip-print.
TAKE RIGHT TURNS ONLY
Avoid the sad fate of the thieves in Florida who took a wrong turn into the
Homestead Air Force Base, drove up to a military police guardhouse and,
thinking it was a toll-booth, offered the security men money.
BE AWARE OF THE TIME
Or the chagrin of the bank robber in Cheshire, Massachusetts, who hit the
bank at 4:30 PM, then tried to escape through downtown North Adams, where he
was trapped in rush hour traffic until police arrived.
CONSIDER ANOTHER LINE OF WORK
Bank robbery is not for everyone. One nervous Newport, RI robber, while
trying to stuff his ill-gotten gains into his shirt pocket, shot himself in
the head and died instantly.
BE STRONG
Then there was the case of the hopeful criminal in Swansea, Massachusetts,
who, when the teller told him she had no money, fainted. He was still
unconscious when the police arrived. His getaway car, parked nearby, had the
keys locked inside it.
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Remember years ago seeing a security camera video: Robber comes up to Teller window and pulls a shotgun out from under his coat, Teller raises her hands and backs away, Robber attempts to leap onto and over counter, Drives head into overhead steel frame , falls unconscious across counter. ;D
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Bad recycling: Pay stub used as bank robbery note
Mon Dec 29, 6:05 pm ET
CHICAGO – The robber's threatening note made a Chicago bank job easy to solve: The FBI says the suspect wrote it on his pay stub. An FBI affidavit said the man walked into a Fifth Third Bank on Friday and handed a teller a note that read "Be Quick Be Quit (sic). Give your cash or I'll shoot."
The robber got about $400 but left half of his note. Investigators found the other half outside the bank's front doors. Authorities say that part of the man's October pay stub had his name and address.
The suspect was arrested at his Cary home. A judge ordered him held without bond Monday. If convicted of bank robbery, he faces 20 years in prison.
Duh! ::)
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It's too bad people that people that stupid don't all remove themselves from the gene pool. They continue to be a drain on society whether they're locked up or not, and breed even more stupid criminals when they aren't locked up.
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Police say masked man waited in line to rob bank
Fri Jan 9, 6:06 pm ET
STOW, Ohio – A man may have tipped his intentions when he stood in line at an Ohio bank wearing a ski mask before staging a holdup. Police in Stow near Akron said 24-year-old Feliks Goldshtein of Highland Heights was arrested minutes later on Thursday following a brief car chase.
Police said the teller asked the man to take off the mask before being served. At that point the man displayed what turned out to be a toy gun and told the teller to give him all the money.
Police Captain Rick Myers said it's unusual for a masked robber to wait in line at a bank.
Goldshtein was being held at the Summit County Jail Friday on charges of aggravated robbery and failure to comply with a police order. He had an afternoon court appearance scheduled.
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This was local.
Security doors thwart robbery in Hamilton Township
January 09, 2009 6:00 AM
It was an attempted bank robbery, but the suspect was no John Dillinger.
Police charge that Luke Thomas Radick, 21, of Stroudsburg entered the vestibule of the First National Bank of Palmerton in Sciota on Thursday morning, holding a shotgun.
The branch is just yards from the ramp to Route 33, and that makes it a tempting target for aspiring stickup men.
So the bank had a double-door security entrance installed. The inner door cannot be opened until the outer door is closed and someone inside buzzes the customer in.
And that's as far as Radick got.
When employees saw him standing between the doors, armed and outfitted in a hooded sweatshirt and gloves, he was denied entrance through the second door. Radick turned around, got back into his 20-year-old tan Chrysler New Yorker, and drove away.
"The doors worked," someone who was in the bank at the time of the attempted robbery said.
Employees at the bank refused comment, and the front doors of the bank remained locked throughout the day. A sign posted on the door read "Drive-up window open."
— Howard Frank
The outdoor security camera caught his car with a tee shirt covering the license plate. He was caught around noon, a few hours later, not far away. Guess what?
(http://images.poconorecord.com/apps/pbcsi.dll/bilde?Site=PR&Date=20090109&Category=NEWS&ArtNo=901090352&Ref=V1&MaxW=570&MaxH=370&title=1&border=0)
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This was local.
The outdoor security camera caught his car with a tee shirt covering the license plate. He was caught around noon, a few hours later, not far away. Guess what?
(http://images.poconorecord.com/apps/pbcsi.dll/bilde?Site=PR&Date=20090109&Category=NEWS&ArtNo=901090352&Ref=V1&MaxW=570&MaxH=370&title=1&border=0)
What ? Is this a Lowell Thomas thing where you make us wait for "the rest of the story? He seems like quite a loser already.
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What ? Is this a Lowell Thomas thing where you make us wait for "the rest of the story? He seems like quite a loser already.
No, hours later and he had not removed the shirt from the plate. It could only be better if the shirt was
(http://www.vrsgmi.com/img_prod/109847780v7_350x350_front_color-royal.jpg)
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Stupid criminals are flocking to the Poconos!
Misdialed 911 'call' leads to fugitive's arrest in Tannersville
January 10, 2009 6:00 AM
Emergency 911 dispatchers took a call and heard what sounded like an act of violence being committed on the other end of the line.
It turned out to be the audio from a television program. And the person who had dialed turned out to be a wanted fugitive, Pocono Township police said.
Dispatchers at the Monroe County Control Center got the call shortly after 5 a.m. Friday. The call came from the Days Inn in Tannersville.
Pocono Township Police responded, requesting backup from Stroud Area Regional Police.
"We didn't know what we were going to run into," Pocono Township Chief Rick Staples said.
It took police some time to locate the room where the call originated. Once they did, they found it occupied by Ruark Lewis, 30, who was wanted in Essex County, N.J., on a weapons violation charge, Staples said.
"Apparently, he had misdialed and somehow left the line open so that dispatchers heard the sounds of whatever show was on the TV at the time," Staples said.
Lewis was in custody by 6:25 a.m. — Andrew Scott
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No, hours later and he had not removed the shirt from the plate. It could only be better if the shirt was
(http://www.vrsgmi.com/img_prod/109847780v7_350x350_front_color-royal.jpg)
Those DARNED details LOL
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I want an I'm with stupid T-shirt where the hand points straight down.
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I want an I'm with stupid T-shirt where the hand points straight down.
;D
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I don't know if this is true or not. It was emailed to me.
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BURGLARY IN FLORIDA
You just can't make this stuff up
When southern Florida resident Nathan Radlich's house
was burglarized recently, thieves ignored his wide screen
plasma TV, his VCR, and even left his Rolex watch.
What they did take however, was a generic white
cardboard box filled with a grayish-white powder.
(That's the way the police report described it.)
A spokesman for the Fort Lauderdale police said that it
looked similar to high grade cocaine and they'd probably
thought they'd hit the big time.
Later, Nathan stood in front of numerous TV cameras and
pleaded with the burglars: "Please return the cremated
remains of my sister, Gertrude, she died three years
ago."
The next morning, the bullet-riddled corpse of a local
drug dealer known as Hoochie Pevens was found on
Nathan's doorstep.
The cardboard box was there too; with about half of
Gertrude's ashes still remaining inside it.
Scotch taped to the box was this note which said:
"Hoochie sold us the bogus blow, so we wasted
Hoochie. Sorry we snorted your sister. No hard feelings. Have
a nice day".
And you thought California was the land of fruits and
nuts!
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I don't know if this is true or not. It was emailed to me.
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BURGLARY IN FLORIDA
You just can't make this stuff up
When southern Florida resident Nathan Radlich's house
was burglarized recently, thieves ignored his wide screen
plasma TV, his VCR, and even left his Rolex watch.
What they did take however, was ...
... taped to the box was this note which said:
"Hoochie sold us the bogus blow, so we wasted
Hoochie. Sorry we snorted your sister. No hard feelings. Have
a nice day".
And you thought California was the land of fruits and
nuts!
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/cannibal/cocaine.asp (http://www.snopes.com/horrors/cannibal/cocaine.asp)
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It figures. Why is it that every time an email says, "You just can't make this stuff up", it turns out someone just made this stuff up?
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I remember about 30 years ago in my hometown some rocket scientist tried to hold up an all-night grocery store with an unloaded revolver. The checker into whose face he stuck the gun was one of us, and seeing that the gun wasn't loaded, proceeded to batter him about the head and shoulders with that little stick that you use to seperate your order from the person ahead of you on the conveyor thingie.
;D
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Bang for his buck: Man sunk by gun in bag of coins
Fri Feb 20, 5:47 pm ET
CAMDEN, Ark. – If only he had remembered to take the pistol out of a sack of nickels he brought to a bank, he may have remained free and not become a suspect in a recent burglary. An 18-year-old man entered the BancorpSouth branch Wednesday to change $88 worth of nickels to paper money, Camden police said. After spotting the gun, the teller told a supervisor, who called police.
After police questioned him, they had cause to obtain a search warrant for his home, where they found $16,000 worth of allegedly stolen property, including eight firearms. Camden police Capt. Scott Rosson said many of the nickels were from a stolen coin collection.
The Ouachita County Jail said Friday that the man was charged with resisting arrest and possession of a firearm. Police were investigating the burglary aspect of the case. The jail didn't have information on his bond.
Rosson said the man had no intention of robbing the bank. The .44-caliber handgun was not loaded but ammunition for the gun was also in the bag. Police said the man planned to sell the gun at a pawn shop.
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Man in jail for impersonating cops charged again
1 hr 11 mins ago
MADISON, Wis. – A man already serving time for impersonating an officer apparently hasn't learned his lesson. Joshua D. Kay, 30, was charged with a new count of impersonating an officer. At an initial court appearance Friday he stood mute so the court entered a plea of not guilty.
Prosecutors said Kay has been telling other inmates he's actually a sheriff's deputy, working undercover to investigate other deputies. Online court records didn't list an attorney for Kay on Saturday.
Kay is serving an eight-month jail sentence for three misdemeanors. Among them was a 2007 conviction for turning on flashing red lights and a siren on his personal car to try to stop a speeder. The other car was being driven by an off-duty police officer.
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Information from: Wisconsin State Journal, http://www.madison.com/wsj
Claims to be LEO to inmate while in jail. Death wish? ::)
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Claims to be LEO to inmate while in jail. Death wish? ::)
Really Stupid Criminal
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"What a marroon!" - Bugs Bunny
'Dumbest criminal' nabbed in cop convention holdup
1 hr 52 mins ago
HARRISBURG, Pa. – A retired police chief said he was robbed by "probably the dumbest criminal in Pennsylvania," at a police officers' convention on Friday morning. John Comparetto said as he came out of a stall in the men's room, a man pointed a gun in his face and demanded money. There were 300 narcotics officers from Pennsylvania and Ohio at the gathering.
Comparetto gave up his money and cell phone. But when the man fled, Comparetto and some colleagues chased him. They arrested a 19-year-old man as he was trying to leave in a taxi.
The suspect is also awaiting trial on four previous robbery charges.
The suspect was arraigned and taken to Dauphin County Prison. When a reporter asked the suspect for comment as he was led out of court, he said, "I'm smooth."
smooth
Pronunciation: \ˈsmüth\ Function: adjective Etymology: Middle English smothe, from Old English smōth; akin to Old Saxon smōthi smooth
Date: before 12th century
1 a (1): having a continuous even surface (2)of a curve : being the representation of a function with a continuous first derivative (3): having or being a short even coat of hair <a smooth collie> — compare rough , wirehaired b: being without hair c: glabrous <a smooth leaf> d: causing no resistance to sliding2: free from difficulties or impediments <the smooth course of his life>3: even and uninterrupted in flow or flight4: excessively and often artfully suave : ingratiating <a smooth operator>5 a: serene , equable <a smooth disposition> b: amiable , courteous 6 a: not sharp or harsh <a smooth sherry> b: free from lumps
I vote for 6b, unless they took him to the back room.
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You know, one of the perks of living in South Florida is that I can top all this without even bothering to go to the net. About 8 months ago in Palm Beach County, our hero, is released from the couny jail after serving thirty days for a misdeamenor. As the jail was a good eight miles from his home, and our hero being without transportation, he decides to accquire some. Naturally attempting a carjacking in the jail parking lot was the logical choice. He attacked a secretary who was parking her car. He was stopped by the sound of a .357 being cocked (and I'm really not making this up) by a volunteer chaplain at the jail. Definately an Old Testament kind of guy. ;D Total time from release to rearrest-18 minutes. His excuse, "I was tired and it was a long walk." Even his fellow inmates must have been laughing at this yahoo.
fightingquaker13
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Sounds like most of these stories should be on "The Onion". :)
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Sounds like most of these stories should be on "The Onion". :)
Sadly, all of my Stupid Criminals are for real. Jim Morrison said it all - "people are strange..."
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Does kind of make you wonder if we should adjust the pay scale for DAs. I mean c'mon, how hard is it to put some of these guys away? ;D
fightingquaker13
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You know how the add severity and time to an crime that is categorized as "aggravated" you get months for assault, years for "aggravated assault". They should do the same thing with "stupid" ;D
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You know how the add severity and time to an crime that is categorized as "aggravated" you get months for assault, years for "aggravated assault". They should do the same thing with "stupid" ;D
I know some folks who could be sent up the river for 'aggravated stupid'......... ;D
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I know some folks who could be sent up the river for 'aggravated stupid'......... ;D
It's a pity that stupidity isn't painful. And did you ever notice that idiots seem to come in swarms?
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It's a pity that stupidity isn't painful. And did you ever notice that idiots seem to come in swarms?
My father always said, "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups." :o
Sadly........He was right.
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Stupid people in large groups elect all our politicians.
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Don't go stupid places. Don't hang out with stupid people. Don't do stupid things.
John Farnam
Old Chinese Proverb: "Stupid friends are dangerous."
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It's a pity that stupidity isn't painful. And did you ever notice that idiots seem to come in swarms?
A.K.A. political parties.
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Stupid people in large groups elect all our politicians other stupid people to meet in large groups.
There, I fixed it for you. ;D
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Stupid people in large groups = government in DC.
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Stupid people in large groups = government in DC. = lot of pain for the 'people'
There, how 'bout now?
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Folks we may have found our winners! ::)
fightingquaker13
EXCLUSIVE: Couple appear to be shoplifting pros on 'Dr. Phil' show
Televised account precedes home search by federal task force
By COLLEEN MENSCHING - Staff Writer | Friday, April 3, 2009 10:15 AM PDT ∞
SAN MARCOS ---- A couple whose Leslie Court home was raided last week by federal agents appear to have admitted on national TV last year to being professional shoplifters.
Laura Eaton said Monday that the search warrant used by authorities Thursday to seize toys, a car and other belongings from her home was connected to a TV appearance she and her husband, Matthew Allen Eaton, made in a November episode of "Dr. Phil" hosted by Phil McGraw.
On a presentation of the show on Dr. Phil's Web site, the couple ---- identified as "Laura" and her husband, referred to as both "Allen" and "Matthew" ---- discussed stealing merchandise from several states.
See video from the "Dr. Phil" show
They were videotaped on a three-day trip with their children, during which they said they hit 27 stores and estimated they had stolen more than $5,000 worth of merchandise.
"Depending on how the kids get, we'll stay today and tomorrow and probably come home on Sunday," Laura told the camera.
In a telephone interview Monday, Laura Eaton said she was aware the couple were under scrutiny.
"There are no charges and no arrests," she said. "This is just a routine investigation."
Eaton declined to say more on the advice of her attorney.
Thursday's warrant was served as part of a fraud investigation conducted by the multi-agency San Diego Regional Fraud Task Force, said Greg Meyer, special agent in charge of the U.S. Secret Service's San Diego office.
On Monday, Meyer declined to comment on what he called an "ongoing investigation." He confirmed that no indictments were issued in the case, and no arrests had been made.
A representative of the "Dr. Phil" show declined Monday to discuss "unresolved police matters" or to answer questions about the show's policies regarding guests who admit to criminal activity.
The episode that Laura Eaton said featured the Eatons on their three-day spree was titled "Shoplifting Confessions." In it, the woman identified as Laura said the couple amassed nearly $1 million in stolen goods over the past seven years.
At one point during the trip, "Matthew" guessed that he had taken about $700 of "mostly Lego stuff" that day.
Last week, items made by the Lego Group toy company were listed on an Internet auction Web page attached to the couple's Leslie Court address.
There were seven live auctions on the site Thursday, but none on Monday. The auction page had not been disabled.
On the show, "Matthew" talked about different strategies he employed.
In some cases, he said, he hid store shopping bags in his pants so he could fill them up and give the appearance of being a legitimate customer. In others, his wife would buy an item and give him the receipt so he could walk out of the store with the exact same item ---- without paying for it.
"If I would get stopped at the door, I would have my receipt right there," he said.
"What are you going to do about it?" he said he'd ask store employees.
When McGraw asked the couple how much stolen merchandise they had collected, "Laura" answered, "Our whole house, pretty much."
She told McGraw that she knew transporting stolen goods across state lines was a federal offense, and McGraw admonished the couple.
"They're going to catch you," he told them. "You make $100,000 a year (stealing), you have no job and you have three children. What's going to happen to those children if both of their parents go to jail?"
"Matthew" told McGraw that he and his wife appeared on the show to discourage themselves from shoplifting.
"I think it's something to help us stop, because my cover's blown," he said.
Contact staff writer Colleen Mensching at (760) 739-6675 or cmensching@nctimes.com.
Updates
SAN MARCOS: Future of alleged shoplifting couple 'up in the air,' wife says
REGION: Vista deputy tipped off feds to alleged shoplifters from 'Dr. Phil'
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And that's why we all have to pay higher prices for everything we buy. >:(