Really Stupid Criminal Tricks

[Fatman]

[How Not to Rob a Bank

The following is an excerpt from Tim Clark's "How Not to Rob a Bank" Here
are some easy lessons gleaned from the experiences of a number of would-be
robbers.

PICK THE RIGHT BANK
You don't want to make the same mistake as the fellow in Anaheim, CA, who
tried to hold up a bank that was no longer in business and had no money.

STUDY YOUR HISTORY
Don't try to stick up the First National Bank of Northfield, Minnesota.
Jesse James tried it 111 years ago, and the townsfolk took just seven
minutes to kill two and capture three of his gang. Nobody  tried again until
1984, and the customers chased the guy down. They're tight with their
dollar, those Minnesotans.

SPEAK TO THE RIGHT TELLER
One robber in Upland, CA, presented his note to the teller, and her father,
who was in the next line, got all bent out of shape about it. He wrestled
the guy to the ground and sat on him until authorities arrived.

DON'T SIGN YOUR DEMAND NOTE
Demand notes have been written on the back of a subpoena issued in the name
of a bank robber in Pittsburgh... on an envelope bearing the name and
address of another in Detroit....and in East Hartford, Connecticut, on the
back of a withdrawal slip giving the robber's signature and account number.

DON'T ADVERTISE
A teenage girl in Los Angeles tried to distract attention from her face by
wearing a see-through blouse with no bra while holding up banks.

GO EASY ON THE DISGUISE
One robber, dressed up as a woman with very heavy make-up, ran face first
into a glass door. He was the first criminal ever to be positively
identified by lip-print.

TAKE RIGHT TURNS ONLY
Avoid the sad fate of the thieves in Florida who took a wrong turn into the
Homestead Air Force Base, drove up to a military police guardhouse and,
thinking it was a toll-booth, offered the security men money.

BE AWARE OF THE TIME
 Or the chagrin of the bank robber in Cheshire, Massachusetts, who hit the
bank at 4:30 PM, then tried to escape through downtown North Adams, where he
was trapped in rush hour traffic until police arrived.

CONSIDER ANOTHER LINE OF WORK
Bank robbery is not for everyone. One nervous Newport, RI robber, while
trying to stuff his ill-gotten gains into his shirt pocket, shot himself in
the head and died instantly.

BE STRONG
 Then there was the case of the hopeful criminal in Swansea, Massachusetts,
who, when the teller told him she had no money, fainted. He was still
unconscious when the police arrived. His getaway car, parked nearby, had the
keys locked inside it.

[tombogan03884]

Remember years ago seeing a security camera video: Robber comes up to Teller window and pulls a shotgun out from under his coat, Teller raises her hands and backs away, Robber attempts to leap onto and over counter, Drives head into overhead steel frame , falls unconscious across counter. 

[Fatman]

Bad recycling: Pay stub used as bank robbery note
Mon Dec 29, 6:05 pm ET

CHICAGO – The robber's threatening note made a Chicago bank job easy to solve: The FBI says the suspect wrote it on his pay stub. An FBI affidavit said the man walked into a Fifth Third Bank on Friday and handed a teller a note that read "Be Quick Be Quit (sic). Give your cash or I'll shoot."

The robber got about $400 but left half of his note. Investigators found the other half outside the bank's front doors. Authorities say that part of the man's October pay stub had his name and address.

The suspect was arrested at his Cary home. A judge ordered him held without bond Monday. If convicted of bank robbery, he faces 20 years in prison.

Duh! 

[Big Frank]

It's too bad people that people that stupid don't all remove themselves from the gene pool. They continue to be a drain on society whether they're locked up or not, and breed even more stupid criminals when they aren't locked up.

[Fatman]

Police say masked man waited in line to rob bank
Fri Jan 9, 6:06 pm ET

STOW, Ohio – A man may have tipped his intentions when he stood in line at an Ohio bank wearing a ski mask before staging a holdup. Police in Stow near Akron said 24-year-old Feliks Goldshtein of Highland Heights was arrested minutes later on Thursday following a brief car chase.

Police said the teller asked the man to take off the mask before being served. At that point the man displayed what turned out to be a toy gun and told the teller to give him all the money.

Police Captain Rick Myers said it's unusual for a masked robber to wait in line at a bank.

Goldshtein was being held at the Summit County Jail Friday on charges of aggravated robbery and failure to comply with a police order. He had an afternoon court appearance scheduled.

[Sponsor]

[Fatman]

This was local.

Security doors thwart robbery in Hamilton Township
January 09, 2009 6:00 AM

It was an attempted bank robbery, but the suspect was no John Dillinger.

Police charge that Luke Thomas Radick, 21, of Stroudsburg entered the vestibule of the First National Bank of Palmerton in Sciota on Thursday morning, holding a shotgun.

The branch is just yards from the ramp to Route 33, and that makes it a tempting target for aspiring stickup men.

So the bank had a double-door security entrance installed. The inner door cannot be opened until the outer door is closed and someone inside buzzes the customer in.

And that's as far as Radick got.

When employees saw him standing between the doors, armed and outfitted in a hooded sweatshirt and gloves, he was denied entrance through the second door. Radick turned around, got back into his 20-year-old tan Chrysler New Yorker, and drove away.

"The doors worked," someone who was in the bank at the time of the attempted robbery said.

Employees at the bank refused comment, and the front doors of the bank remained locked throughout the day. A sign posted on the door read "Drive-up window open."

— Howard Frank

The outdoor security camera caught his car with a tee shirt covering the license plate. He was caught around noon, a few hours later, not far away. Guess what?

[tombogan03884]

This was local.
 

The outdoor security camera caught his car with a tee shirt covering the license plate. He was caught around noon, a few hours later, not far away. Guess what?

What ?  Is this a Lowell Thomas thing where you make us wait for "the rest of the story? He seems like quite a loser already.

[Fatman]

What ?  Is this a Lowell Thomas thing where you make us wait for "the rest of the story? He seems like quite a loser already.

 No, hours later and he had not removed the shirt from the plate. It could only be better if the shirt was

[Fatman]

Stupid criminals are flocking to the Poconos!

Misdialed 911 'call' leads to fugitive's arrest in Tannersville
January 10, 2009 6:00 AM

Emergency 911 dispatchers took a call and heard what sounded like an act of violence being committed on the other end of the line.

It turned out to be the audio from a television program. And the person who had dialed turned out to be a wanted fugitive, Pocono Township police said.

Dispatchers at the Monroe County Control Center got the call shortly after 5 a.m. Friday. The call came from the Days Inn in Tannersville.

Pocono Township Police responded, requesting backup from Stroud Area Regional Police.

"We didn't know what we were going to run into," Pocono Township Chief Rick Staples said.

It took police some time to locate the room where the call originated. Once they did, they found it occupied by Ruark Lewis, 30, who was wanted in Essex County, N.J., on a weapons violation charge, Staples said.

"Apparently, he had misdialed and somehow left the line open so that dispatchers heard the sounds of whatever show was on the TV at the time," Staples said.

Lewis was in custody by 6:25 a.m. — Andrew Scott

[tombogan03884]

No, hours later and he had not removed the shirt from the plate. It could only be better if the shirt was

Those DARNED details  LOL