The Down Range Forum
Member Section => Down Range Cafe => Topic started by: Hazcat on September 19, 2008, 09:17:27 AM
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Avast me hearties! Tis upon us again, the Annual Talk Like A Pirate Day! http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html
So grab your blunderbuss ye lillylivered landlubbers and away with ye! (http://www.mazeguy.net/employed/pirate.gif) ARRRRRRRR!!
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shiver me timbers.
Time for our modern day pirate "deepwater" ;D to add to this one..
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Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Ok, this is retarded...... but I do like the idea that on boats they call a cannon a gun.
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ARRRRRR Ye scurvy dogs (and cats)
I'll meet ye all down a Davy Jone's Locker for some Rum and wenches.
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Pass the grog ya scurvy dog! (http://www.mazeguy.net/employed/pirate.gif)
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As you can plainly see from me sig, Talk Like a Pirate Day be upon us. It's stupid, needless, pointless, silly, juvenile, and completely uncalled for, so o' course I've been pimpin' it for a week smile.gif Some advice t' make this "Talk Like a Pirate Day" your best one yet!
FIRST, you will need a pirate name!
http://www.froggynet.com/cgi-bin/pirate.cgi
So says RTFM, AKA: Sir Davey the Wicked
Then, you will need t' proper technology t' integrate your pirate-speak into your modern life:
(http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f339/DocJon/AYE-Phone.jpg)
(http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f339/DocJon/PirateKeyboard.jpg)
Next: What kind o' a pirate be you?
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/ppi.html
(I be a Quartermaster!)
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/quartermaster.html
You will need some jokes t' tell 'round t' grog-bucket:
Why couldn't t' little pirate see t' movie?
Because it was rated ARRRRRRR!!!!
How do pirates know that they be pirates?
They think, tharfore they ARRRR!!!!!
Why does it take pirates so long t' learn t' alphabet?
Because they can spend years at C!
What's a horny pirate's worst nightmare?
A sunken chest with no booty!
A pirate walks into a bar wearin' a paper towel on his head. He sits down at t' bar and orders some dirty rum. T' bartender asks, "Why be you wearin' a paper towel?" "Arrr..." says t' pirate. "I've got a bounty on me head!"
What does a bleached blonde and a pirate have in common?
A little black patch.
What does a pirate say when he has a heart attack?
Arrr! Me heartie!
Where do pirates like t' eat?
Arrrr...bees.
What does a Dyslexic Pirate Say?
RRAAAAAAAAAAA!
Here be some pickup lines for seducin' t' wenches:
10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why me Roger be so Jolly?
9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?
8. Come on up and see me urchins.
7. Aye, that be a hornpipe in me pocket and I be happy t' see you.
6. I'd love t' drop anchor in your lagoon.
5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me six pounder through your porthole?
4. How'd you like t' scrape t' barnacles off o' me rudder?
3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.
2. Well, blow me down?
And t' number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …
1. Prepare t' be boarded!
Bonus Pickup Lines:
Wanna shiver me timbers?
That’s t' finest pirate booty I’ve ever laid eaye on.
Let's get together and haul some keel.
Happy "Talk Like A Pirate Day", me hearties!
Arrrr just for you Capins out tharrrr here is yer own pirate ship to drive.
Cursed Winds matie (http://gameinabottle.com/cursedwinds.php) < < < Clicky clicky to play the game
or the original game
Treasure of Cutlass Reef (http://gameinabottle.com/treasureofcutlassreef.php)< < < Clicky clicky to play the game
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What an ARRRRRRRRR-tful post! (http://www.mazeguy.net/employed/pirate.gif)
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ARRRRRRRR! Tie that scurvy "Gun Grabber" to the Yardarms and give'm 20 lashes!!!!! >:(
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Here be some pickup lines for seducin' t' wenches:
10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why me Roger be so Jolly?
9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?
8. Come on up and see me urchins.
7. Aye, that be a hornpipe in me pocket and I be happy t' see you.
6. I'd love t' drop anchor in your lagoon.
5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me six pounder through your porthole?
4. How'd you like t' scrape t' barnacles off o' me rudder?
3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.
2. Well, blow me down?
And t' number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …
1. Prepare t' be boarded!
Comment of the day award!
(http://www1.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/604777/2/istockphoto_604777_miniature_trophy_blank.jpg)
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Heave to and prepare to be boarded!!!
(http://navyphotos.togetherweserved.com/1591671.jpg)
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I know a few chicks who dig pirates. 8) (Where's the smiley with the eyepatch??)
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Can't wait for t' scrubbin time arrrr
Me new bath rubber ducky fit for Sir Davey the Wicked
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y237/we3/Widow_Wanna_be_dukie.jpg)
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LMAO!!! ;D
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In the heyday of sailing ships, all war ships and many
freighters carried iron cannons. Those cannon fired
round iron cannon balls.
It was necessary to keep a good supply near the cannon.
But how to prevent them from rolling about the deck?
The best storage method devised was a square based
pyramid with one ball on top, resting on four resting on
nine which rested on sixteen.
Thus, a supply of 30 cannon balls could be stacked
in a small area right next to the cannon.
There was only one problem -- how to prevent the
bottom layer from sliding/rolling from under the others.
The solution was a metal plate called a "Monkey"
with 16 round indentations.
But if this plate was made of iron, the iron balls would
quickly rust to it. The solution to the rusting problem
was to make "Brass Monkeys."
Few landlubbers realize that brass contracts much
more and much faster than iron when chilled.
Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far,
the brass indentations would shrink so much that the
iron cannon balls would come right off the monkey.
Thus, it was quite literally,
"Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey!"
(And all this time, you thought that was an improper expression,
didn't you?)
;D ;)
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Cool!........I mean ARRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (http://www.mazeguy.net/employed/pirate.gif)
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Haz-
You scurvy dog.... I mean cat!
(http://www.localshed.com/images/PirateCat.jpg)
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Even the Air Force has its pirates. One of my alma matters The Buccaneers! AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!
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Haz-
You scurvy dog.... I mean cat!
(http://www.localshed.com/images/PirateCat.jpg)
(http://ecanus.net/smileys/pirate.gif)AVAST Matey! You KNOW I'm taking that as a 'Captains share' of the treasure don't ye? ARRRRRRRRRRRRR!! (http://www.mazeguy.net/employed/pirate.gif)
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Shiver me pegleg.........
Why do a pirate be needin' his buccaneers?
To be holdin' hold up his buccan eye glasses.
AAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH.....GROAN....AAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHH......... ;D
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Whenever I hear someone talk like a pirate I wonder, is that an English accent? Portugese? Spanish?
The story about the brass monkey has been emailed around the world for 7 years. Apparently that's when the story was made up. Sorry to burst your bubble but somebody was bound to. http://www.snopes.com/language/stories/brass.asp
I guess I'm just no fun anymore. :(
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Whenever I hear someone talk like a pirate I wonder, is that an English accent? Portugese? Spanish?
The story about the brass monkey has been emailed around the world for 7 years. Apparently that's when the story was made up. Sorry to burst your bubble but somebody was bound to. http://www.snopes.com/language/stories/brass.asp
I guess I'm just no fun anymore. :(
Time ta walk the plank! See ya in Davey Jones locker ya bildge rat! (http://ecanus.net/smileys/pirate.gif)
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In the heyday of sailing ships, all war ships and many freighters carried iron cannons. Those cannon fired
round iron cannon balls. It was necessary to keep a good supply near the cannon.
But how to prevent them from rolling about the deck? The best storage method devised was a square based
pyramid with one ball on top, resting on four resting on nine which rested on sixteen.
Thus, a supply of 30 cannon balls could be stacked in a small area right next to the cannon.
There was only one problem -- how to prevent the bottom layer from sliding/rolling from under the others.
The solution was a metal plate called a "Monkey" with 16 round indentations. But if this plate was made of iron, the iron balls would
quickly rust to it. The solution to the rusting problem was to make "Brass Monkeys." Few landlubbers realize that brass contracts much more and much faster than iron when chilled.
Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far, the brass indentations would shrink so much that the iron cannon balls would come right off the monkey. Thus, it was quite literally, "Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey!" (And all this time, you thought that was an improper expression, didn't you?)
;D ;)
^^^^ ^^^^^ ^^^^^ Edited the above for readability ^^^^ ^^^^ ^^^^
Sorry matie' that don't hold water arrrrr.
1) Warships don't store cannonballs (or Roundshot) on deck around the clock, day after day on the chance they may go into battle. Space was precious commodity on a sailing ship and decks were kept clear as possible in order to allow room for hundreds of men to prefprm all the tasks necessary for ordinary ships function.
Stacking round shot on deck would also create the danger of their breaking free and rolling lose on deck whenever the ship hit rough seas. Cannonballs were stored elsewhere and only brought out when the decks had been cleared for action.
2) Particularly dilligent gunners would have their crews chip away imperfections on the surface of cannonballs to make them as smoth as possible, in the hopes that they would fly truer. They did not leave shot on deck exposed to the elements where they would rust.
3) When references to "Brass Monkeys" started appearing in prit in the mid 19th century they did not allways mention balls or cold temperature. It was sometimes cold enough to freeze the ears, tail, nose or wiskers off a brass monkey.
Likewise it was sometimes hot wnough to scald the throat or singe the hair off a brass monkey.
Taken from the snopes site.... which I tend to believe much more then some brass ball catcher thingie.....
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Whenever I hear someone talk like a pirate I wonder, is that an English accent? Portugese? Spanish?
The story about the brass monkey has been emailed around the world for 7 years. Apparently that's when the story was made up. Sorry to burst your bubble but somebody was bound to. http://www.snopes.com/language/stories/brass.asp
I guess I'm just no fun anymore. :(
The story predates the internet by several years if not decades. Got to say Snopes comments sound MUCH more accurate.
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They had BOYS called Powder Monkeys to go below decks and retrieve the gunpowder and cannonballs. Maybe it got cold enough to freeze the balls off a powder monkey.
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TOM, JUMBO,
Ya landlubbers! Ya gots to follow the pirate rule! If yer gonna spout off on this here thread, matey ya need to parley like a pirate! (at least add an ARRRRRRRRRR!) (http://www.mazeguy.net/employed/pirate.gif)
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The story about the brass monkey has been emailed around the world for 7 years. Apparently that's when the story was made up. Sorry to burst your bubble but somebody was bound to
Actually this stuff I've heard and read about long before internet, I lived aboard a sailboat with my folks when I was a kid, in fact did a few years in Mex, central America and had plenty of time to read up on history etc....
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Actually this stuff I've heard and read about long before internet, I lived aboard a sailboat with my folks when I was a kid, in fact did a few years in Mex, central America and had plenty of time to read up on history etc....
brass monkey, witches brass bra, they be mighty cold. ;D
deepwater, I heard the story long before the internet also.
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BRACE UP YARDS, YOU CACK-HANDED DECK APES
DYIN' IS A DAY WORTH LIVIN' FOR!!!!!
;D ;D ;D I heard it somewhere one time. Yeah?
I dont know I just wanted to be a Pirate too.
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So, I'll drop the brass monkey argument. I'm sure that you guys know that there are still pirates operating in the world today. well, my fellow mariners and I are the targets of these $%^# heads. know the worst part? the companies we work for won't allow us to carry weapons onboard. (probably because of all the unstable psychos onboard) ;D So we have to use fire hoses. stop mister or I'll get you wet. what a joke. the real joke is that it's not illegal. some companies supply their vessels with firearms. :P
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TOM, JUMBO,
Ya landlubbers! Ya gots to follow the pirate rule! If yer gonna spout off on this here thread, matey ya need to parley like a pirate! (at least add an ARRRRRRRRRR!) (http://www.mazeguy.net/employed/pirate.gif)
You're right Haz. Everyone knows pirates growl instead of talking like regular people. I be corrected. ARRRRRRRRRR!!!
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RRRAAAA (I'm dyslexic ;D )
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You're right Haz. Everyone knows pirates growl instead of talking like regular people. I be corrected. ARRRRRRRRRR!!!
it maybe that they just slurr everything, you know, drunk ;) maybe. (at least that's what we do when we get to port.)
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it maybe that they just slurr everything, you know, drunk ;) maybe. (at least that's what we do when we get to port.)
Darrin me hearty!
Not you, matey! Not "Deepwater the Beer Swiller"! ::)
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Not you, matey! Not "Deepwater the Beer Swiller"!
OH YEAH!! heck, tomorrow morning I'm goin' to town to get 10 (that's ten) cases of slop for a little party later in the day. yum, yum. oh, did I mention we'll be drinking? God I love having six months vacation, every year!!!!!! ;D I get to sit on the patio swillin beer and Pisco (the local fire water, it's a type of brandy) and not worry about getting up to go to work in the morning, or the next day.. or the next. ;) Oh Yeah,,, I love my job! (hic) now that you mention it, I'm goin to the fridge to get one now. :P ARRRRRRR
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OH YEAH!! heck, tomorrow morning I'm goin' to town to get 10 (that's ten) cases of slop for a little party later in the day. yum, yum. oh, did I mention we'll be drinking? God I love having six months vacation, every year!!!!!! ;D I get to sit on the patio swillin beer and Pisco (the local fire water, it's a type of brandy) and not worry about getting up to go to work in the morning, or the next day.. or the next. ;) Oh Yeah,,, I love my job! (hic) now that you mention it, I'm goin to the fridge to get one now. :P ARRRRRRR
Remember the thread rules Boyo!
Patio, don't ya mean poop deck or fan tail or something? fridge? how about ice chest. Vacation? don't ya mean debauchery?
Buckle up or walk the short board! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (http://www.mazeguy.net/employed/pirate.gif)
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:P
remember, I'm just an uneducated, illiterate sailor. :'(
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:P
remember, I'm just an uneducated, illiterate sailor. :'(
SAILOR!! SAILOR YOU SAY! don't ya mean Buccaneer!
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR (http://www.mazeguy.net/employed/pirate.gif)
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Aye, I Think I'll go sit in the 'tween decks, and swill some grog. you know....
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;D ;D ;D
Deepwater,
I sent you a PM.
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can't stop laughing at that picture. Oops, sorry.
I would leave it up there, but it'll probably get me into trouble, want me to e-mail a copy to you?
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RRRAAAA (I'm dyslexic ;D )
And that's the LEAST of your problems, swabbie! ARRRRRRRRRRRR! (http://www.mazeguy.net/employed/pirate.gif)
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here's some real pirates, Egyptian line handlers in the Suez canal. even if they give you something for free they're rippin' you off somehow.