The Down Range Forum
Member Section => Down Range Cafe => Topic started by: Jackel on August 24, 2009, 11:44:14 PM
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surfing and came across this
http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/ (http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/)
its worth the read. just make sure you aren't needing to piss or anything. :-X
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"quickly! he stole pop tarts and is attempting to escape! shoot him in the leg!"
this has to be fake
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The sad thing is, this guy may be a real mall ninja. I only read about 1/4 of the posts before PTSD started to set in. I have had a lot of crap jobs over my life, but mall security was the worst. I worked it the summer between freshman and sophomore year in college. In my naivety I thought that I would be paid to walk around the mall all day and enjoy the pretty girls in summer clothes. True as far as it went. What I didn't factor in were my co-workers.My bosses were ok, an ex-marine sergant and an ex-cop. To a man though, the rest were BS artists who had read every issue of Soldier of Fortune and masturbated to posters of Hathcock. Either that or just bitter guys in their 40's that had been laid off or divorced. It was enough to make you laugh or use a "tactical" folding chair to give someone a reality check. A story of a gunfight with uzis using a steel brief case for cover was my personal favorite. A very scary, but amusing in retrospect, experience.
FQ13 who fears the mall cops more than the carjackers ::)
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I have seen some of this before. I think I actualy read some of this when it was being posted. If I remember correctly somewhere on a forum someone brought it up and posted a link to it. Everyone was reading it and then going back to the original forum and having a good laugh.
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This is hilarious........."because that's how ninjas roll".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4Iz0TXmmvU&feature=PlayList&p=E19B748DFE113483&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=58
Could it be our very own Eric?
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I think that even beats "Because that's the way we did it in the SEAL's!"
;D
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OM F-ing G!! that was HILLARIOUS!!!
God I wish my Internet connection was working at home, I nned the wife to read that. ;D
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This guy makes Paul Blart look like a Green Beret!
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I think that even beats "Because that's the way we did it in the SEAL's!"
;D
I'd run across Gecko before, when we were doing specops in Nicaragua in the 70's. ;)
And don't think they are not out there - they are. I dated a woman who said that one of her dates was a doctor in the USAF, a doctor on duty with specops teams. In fact, in the bar where they met for the first (and only) date, he said there were 2 operators watching his back in the bar because he just knew too much to be left alone as someone might grab him.
I kid you not. :o ::)
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I'd run across Gecko before, when we were doing specops in Nicaragua in the 70's. ;)
EWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!! You and Gecko were "doing" Specops in Nicaragua? That's just gross. :o
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I don't have much time to talk. I've got to get some steel plate and duct tape...........(http://i895.photobucket.com/albums/ac157/johnnybravo7/smileys/wtfsmiley.gif)
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i think he has a thing about being shot with a "high powered rifle"
anybody see mall cop?
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This is hilarious........."because that's how ninjas roll".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4Iz0TXmmvU&feature=PlayList&p=E19B748DFE113483&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=58
Could it be our very own Eric?
(http://img1.jurko.net/avatar_12000.gif)
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If you do a myspace search for gecko45 you'll find his home town listed as Pleasant Valley NY, that's about 15 miles from where I live :o...Aren't you glad you don't live that close to him.
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If you do a myspace search for gecko45 you'll find his home town listed as Pleasant Valley NY, that's about 15 miles from where I live :o...Aren't you glad you don't live that close to him.
I can only hope to some day experience the peace of mind that you must feel right now. ;D
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Ninja Glock?
What have they done to that poor pistol? :-\
Tell Marshal'ette to set up the gecko45 firewall,.....
Although I think tombogan would love to "chat" with him.... ::)
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Ninja Glock?
What have they done to that poor pistol? :-\
Tell Marshal'ette to set up the gecko45 firewall,.....
Although I think tombogan would love to "chat" with him.... ::)
I think he would be very entertaining. I'm going to find him and invite him. ;D
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I can only hope to some day experience the peace of mind that you must feel right now. ;D
I don't know. I'd be worried about being down wind of those nuclear suppressed tungsten bullets. Is it me or is everyone hoping that was a really good replica airsoft?
FQ13 ROFL and wanting to see him playing the directonal ninja slots cut in the barrel while firing full auto. ::)
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i would find it amusing for him to show up here. give me something to laugh at other than the classic joke thread ;D.
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I enjoyed the volumes of knowledge from that incredibly gifted gunmaster! Mayge we should hook him up with that Gecko45 guy and his duct taped steel plates?
(http://i895.photobucket.com/albums/ac157/johnnybravo7/comment.jpg)
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(http://i296.photobucket.com/albums/mm182/twyacht/monkey-stupid.gif)
(http://i296.photobucket.com/albums/mm182/twyacht/mallninja.jpg)
I asked "Bob", and he is ashamed that the Gecko Rapid Retailer Response Team, is giving them a bad name...
Somebody has to keep those kids from throwing gum on the floor dammit!!!
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...and years in a dark secret Russian prison center had honed my natural night vision to that of a tomcat.
Did you read the comments at the bottom?
Thank you for finding this and posting this. I am laughing so hard that milk is coming out of my nose, and I am not drinking milk.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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I bet the Gecko secretly provided Pincus with technical assistance in his Combat Focus Shooting DVD series too! ;D
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I bet the Gecko secretly provided Pincus with technical assistance in his Combat Focus Shooting DVD series too! ;D
For his own safety, and the safety of us "civies", The Pincus must deny any knowledge of anybody that might be called Gecko45.
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yeah... and i assasinated Bin Laden for Obama but he dosent want the public to know because my Identity may be compramised. Hint hint... ;D
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I don't know. I'd be worried about being down wind of those nuclear suppressed tungsten bullets. Is it me or is everyone hoping that was a really good replica airsoft?
FQ13 ROFL and wanting to see him playing the directonal ninja slots cut in the barrel while firing full auto. ::)
The ones from the 100 round magazines ?
Heck with that, I want to check out that sight that looks into the future to show where your bullets are going to hit. That might come in handy for picking lottery numbers ;D
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How about we have a contest on who can write the best mall ninja story? It would have to be original, so no drawing inspiration from the Gecko or SPECOPS. As much crap as we sling around here anyway, we should be able to put together some good stuff......
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I don't know, I don't think any one here is messed up enough to beat the "Great Mortal Combat Heist"
Except maybe MB but he doesn't count, he's a Professional. ;D
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sound fun. i call bin laden ;D
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It's just too bad I can't divuldge any of my stories.........you know, national security and all.
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It's just too bad I can't divuldge any of my stories.........you know, national security and all.
Don't want to endanger anyone at Ross Park Mall?
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We should all be proud and thankful that we have dedicated and highly trained "Mall Security" like
Paul Blart Gecko45 and SPECOPS.
They put their lives on the line everyday. Remember these guys work at urban, not cushy, suburban malls.
Get ready to be dazzled. Below you'll find actuall footage of a secret combat training session.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae111/KidShelleen/Smileys/starwars.gif)
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A mall ninja using napalm. lmao
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Don't want to endanger anyone at Ross Park Mall?
I wish! That's the big leagues. ;D
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I wish! That's the big leagues. ;D
Ross Park Mall. WOW there is a place I haven't heard of in years! In case you guys don't know, I was born and raised in Shaler, specifically Glenshaw.
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Ross Park Mall. WOW there is a place I haven't heard of in years! In case you guys don't know, I was born and raised in Shaler, specifically Glenshaw.
Did you too become a master ninja oh Great haz? I hear Shaler's a hot bed of ninj training. Alsas during my mall ninja days, I was deemed unworthy of being a master, having never been a feared assasin in Vietnam. The furthest I got was mastering the wax on, wax off kata, when washing the patrol vehicle. ::)
FQ13
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Did you too become a master ninja oh Great haz? I hear Shaler's a hot bed of ninj training. Alsas during my mall ninja days, I was deemed unworthy of being a master, having never been a feared assasin in Vietnam. The furthest I got was mastering the wax on, wax off kata, when washing the patrol vehicle. ::)
FQ13
It's OK to say GOLF CART . ;D
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It's OK to say GOLF CART . ;D
Eco friendly tactical response vehicle
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with striker air to ground missiles mounted on them.
because hellfires would be just stupid
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Can I get a Glock with a ninja flute too? ::)
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Eco friendly tactical response vehicle
That's a classic line! LMAO (http://i895.photobucket.com/albums/ac157/johnnybravo7/smileys/th36_12_6.gif)
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Ross Park Mall. WOW there is a place I haven't heard of in years! In case you guys don't know, I was born and raised in Shaler, specifically Glenshaw.
Well, I was assigned to sector 12bravo tonight. For those of you who don't have the extensive training and experience I have in indoor multi-retail enclosure security operations, that's Clearview Mall. Can't really go into anymore detail than that. I brought the fam along to enhance my cover, and I had to travel light, so I only brought one of the M60s the mayor allowed us to get after my team cleaned up that embarrassing incident at Spencer Gifts. All I can say is there's one more retail operation that's secure tonight, thanks to the likes of me and my brethren in the security field. Hats off to you Geeko and Special K, wherever you are.
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Eco friendly tactical response vehicle
There was nothing friendly about that vehichle. No AC on blacktop on a hot Fl. August day while sporting (tactical) polyester, and thats before the steel plates in the level 2 vest. Add to this it would max at 20 mph, and weighed maybe 1000 ilbs, it struck fear into the hearts of car thieves every where. As far as missiles, strker, or hell fire, they would have exploded in the tubes, though they would have propelled the cart a 1000 feet backwards. Cause thats the way ninja's roll. ;D
FQ13