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Author Topic: Pray that I know when to stay, walk away, and what to do  (Read 9057 times)

m25operator

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Re: Pray that I know when to stay, walk away, and what to do
« Reply #10 on: May 06, 2010, 07:46:13 PM »
That is sad, I have always found being very open and honest the best answer. Something like, " Mam, I don't know what to say about your son or brother leaving us, but I do know that I am willing to help in any way I can, food, mow the grass, go to the store for you, just let me know. " an " I miss him too " won't hurt.

Then get on with your own healing.
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PegLeg45

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Re: Pray that I know when to stay, walk away, and what to do
« Reply #11 on: May 06, 2010, 11:40:36 PM »
Hate to hear this, DR....sad and painful to lose a friend, in any manner.
I've no advice to give better than what's been said already.
I will keep you and his family in my prayers.

Peg

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crusader rabbit

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Re: Pray that I know when to stay, walk away, and what to do
« Reply #12 on: May 07, 2010, 08:15:37 AM »
DR, the death of a friend is never easy and there probably aren't any "right" words to say.  Sometimes all you can give is a shoulder or a hugg.   You're in my prayers.
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shooter32

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Re: Pray that I know when to stay, walk away, and what to do
« Reply #13 on: May 07, 2010, 09:24:03 AM »
So sorry to hear about your friend, DR. Can't really add to what has already been said, just know my prayers are with you and his family. If you need to talk send me a PM and I'll give you a call.

Take care my friend.
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jaybet

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Re: Pray that I know when to stay, walk away, and what to do
« Reply #14 on: May 07, 2010, 11:26:37 AM »
So sorry for your loss. Just be there for the family and they'll appreciate it.
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Re: Pray that I know when to stay, walk away, and what to do
« Reply #15 on: Today at 11:04:31 AM »
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Walter45Auto

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Re: Pray that I know when to stay, walk away, and what to do
« Reply #15 on: May 08, 2010, 02:46:39 AM »
Sorry to hear that, dude.
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Re: Pray that I know when to stay, walk away, and what to do
« Reply #16 on: May 08, 2010, 12:19:27 PM »
Dakota, I'm sorry for your loss.  Please know that any and all of us here are there for you if you need anything, just as you are there for your friend's family.
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Dakotaranger

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Re: Pray that I know when to stay, walk away, and what to do
« Reply #17 on: May 08, 2010, 09:33:45 PM »
Thanks guys.  I was out of town when I got the word. I think it meant alot to Colleen that I would leave my family obligations to come back for the funeral.  As much as I cared for her brother, I she means a whole lot more. Unforuneately I know no matter what they do or try to do this week will never end.  Time may lesson the intensitity
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blackwolfe

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Re: Pray that I know when to stay, walk away, and what to do
« Reply #18 on: May 09, 2010, 05:50:44 PM »
Dakota,
Sorry to hear of the loss of your friend.  I'm never good with finding the right words at times like this.  Speaking from experience, people don't always know what to say or do, but mean well even though sometimes what they say is difficult to comprehend.   The family and those closest to him are on autopilot.  The week will end for them, and life will go on, though it may not seem like it.  Letting them know you are there for them is good.  Don't be surprised if they say they don't need anything, but if you see they need, do it.  There is a lot of attention focused on the survivors at this time.  That attention will fade after a week or two, but the loss is still new and fresh for the family and they may very well be filled with emptiness for quite sometime.  A lot of people need the comfort of their friends a few weeks, or month, 2 months or more down the road to fill the vaccuum.  Time will lessen the intensity, time is a great healer, but it takes time.
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Re: Pray that I know when to stay, walk away, and what to do
« Reply #19 on: May 18, 2010, 12:12:52 AM »
Death when it is "normal" is tough for the ones left behind..
 I can't imagine what it must be like for a suicide..

I've had a couple friends give up and take their own lives and our first reaction is .. I should have ..could have ..possibly have..done something to stop it..
no you couldn't.. when they get to that point.. all the talking and being there doesn't stop it generally.. They will find a way.. Its their path..and unfortunately its their lessons to learn..  

 I tortured myself for weeks over it once.. finally accepted that she was going to do it..then or later... I knew it too.. talked til I was blue in the face and thought I had her "thinking" at least..
 I was wrong.. she was just waiting until I was gone..

I'm so sorry.......I know how you feel... but just being a friend is the best thing you can be now..

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