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Author Topic: Too funny not to share  (Read 1501 times)

m25operator

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Too funny not to share
« on: July 24, 2010, 10:04:56 PM »
Got this from another blog, who I will not repeat the author, some of you will recognize it, the funniest stories are the truest.
Don't have any liquid in your mouth while reading, fair warning. ;D

Picture it in your mind:

Big important gathering with Secret Squirrel stealth mission group.

I'm to deliver an important document.

I drink the Megaladon sized "brain freeze in a bucket" on the trip there as it was 95 degrees and I'm in a obligatory dark suit.

So I have to pee before the meeting.

The bathroom has one of those soap dispensers by the sink that is "motion activated"

I leave my Secret Squirrel satchel on the edge of the sink after opening the side pocket to check on the document.

NOW. . .

Picture said meeting.

Picture me reaching into the side pocket of the satchel.

I pull out the folded up document and it's coated with several tablespoons of white slimy fluid, about ready to drip on the table. The soap dispenser apparently, set off by the proximity of the bag, had quietly pumped out liquid hand soap INTO the pocket while I took care of business.

I don't HAVE to tell you what that looks like.

Dead silence in the room.

What could I possibly say?

"Damn meetings with Bill Clinton".

I made one guy cry he was laughing so hard.

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" The Pact, to defend, if not TO AVENGE '  Tarna the Tarachian.

BAC

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Re: Too funny not to share
« Reply #1 on: July 24, 2010, 10:29:11 PM »
2 thumbs up!   ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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shooter32

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Re: Too funny not to share
« Reply #2 on: July 24, 2010, 10:34:24 PM »
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A government big enough to give you everything you want is a government big enough to take from you everything you have. ~ Gerald Ford - August 12, 1974

tombogan03884

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Re: Too funny not to share
« Reply #3 on: July 24, 2010, 10:45:43 PM »
Got to be quick on your feet  ;D
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Solus

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Re: Too funny not to share
« Reply #4 on: July 25, 2010, 08:03:43 AM »
Brigid.  Quite a woman and her blog is always worth reading.

http://mausersandmuffins.blogspot.com/
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Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!"
—Patrick Henry

"Good intentions will always be pleaded for every assumption of authority. It is hardly too strong to say that the Constitution was made to guard the people against the dangers of good intentions. There are men in all ages who mean to govern well, but they mean to govern. They promise to be good masters, but they mean to be masters."
— Daniel Webster

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Re: Too funny not to share
« Reply #5 on: Today at 11:43:57 AM »
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m25operator

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Re: Too funny not to share
« Reply #5 on: July 25, 2010, 01:33:14 PM »
Solus,, I was trying to save her some  dignity,,, but your right,  her blog is wonderful.. I messaged her earlier  this am, I watched boondock saints 2, and at  1hr 19 minutes, her avatar comes to life, no kidding.. I think she would be proud.
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" The Pact, to defend, if not TO AVENGE '  Tarna the Tarachian.

Solus

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Re: Too funny not to share
« Reply #6 on: July 25, 2010, 07:17:41 PM »
Quote from: m25operator on July 25, 2010, 01:33:14 PM
Solus,, I was trying to save her some  dignity,,, but your right,  her blog is wonderful.. I messaged her earlier  this am, I watched boondock saints 2, and at  1hr 19 minutes, her avatar comes to life, no kidding.. I think she would be proud.

I don't understand what boondock saints 2 is ..and I am not aware she has an avatar?


Shoot, she published the story.  And she has dignity to spare  :D :D  especially for a good story.   :D
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Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!"
—Patrick Henry

"Good intentions will always be pleaded for every assumption of authority. It is hardly too strong to say that the Constitution was made to guard the people against the dangers of good intentions. There are men in all ages who mean to govern well, but they mean to govern. They promise to be good masters, but they mean to be masters."
— Daniel Webster

m25operator

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Re: Too funny not to share
« Reply #7 on: July 25, 2010, 08:18:00 PM »
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_OivUW6Rl7F8/ScVfV1VD-6I/AAAAAAAAEAs/Csv5pKw0zp0/S220/Brigid.jpg

This  was the avatar I was mentioning, sorry I am not more computer savvy so you  don't have to use a link.

Boondock Saints II is a movie, not too bad I might mention.
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" The Pact, to defend, if not TO AVENGE '  Tarna the Tarachian.

Johnny Bravo

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Re: Too funny not to share
« Reply #8 on: July 26, 2010, 12:48:17 AM »
LMAO.............Thanks M25 I needed that. ;D
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"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

"An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a subject."
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