How Gun Magazines Write Articles

[billt]

I found this on another forum, and it was funny, so I thought it would be enjoyed here as well.

How Gun Magazines Write Articles:

Instruction From The Editor To The Journalist:

Frangible Arms just bought a four page color ad in our next issue. They
sent us their latest offering, the CQB MK-V Tactical Destroyer. I told
Fred to take it out to the range to test. He'll have the data for you
tomorrow.

Feedback From Technician Fred:

The pistol is a crude copy of the World War II Japanese Nambu type 14
pistol, except it's made from unfinished zinc castings. The grips are
pressed cardboard. The barrel is unrifled pipe. There are file marks all
over the gun, inside and out.

Only 10 rounds of 8mm ammunition were supplied. Based on previous
experience with a genuine Nambu, I set up a target two feet down range.
I managed to cram four rounds in the magazine and one in the chamber. I
taped the magazine in place, bolted the pistol into a machine rest, got
behind a barricade, and pulled the trigger with 20 feet of 550 cord. I
was unable to measure the trigger pull because my fish scale tops out at
32 pounds. On the third try, the pistol fired. From outline of the
holes, I think the barrel, frame, magazine, trigger and recoil spring
blew through the target. The remaining parts scattered over the
landscape.

I sent the machine rest back to the factory to see if they can fix it,
and we need to replace the shooting bench for the nice people who own
the range. I'll be off for the rest of the day. My ears are still
ringing. I need a drink.

Article Produced By The Journalist:

The CQB MK-V Tactical Destroyer is arguably the deadliest pistol in the
world. Based on a combat proven military design, but constructed almost
entirely of space age alloy, it features a remarkable barrel design
engineered to produce a cone of fire, a feature much valued by Special
Forces world wide. The Destroyer shows clear evidence of extensive hand
fitting. The weapon disassembles rapidly without tools. At a reasonable
combat distance, I put five holes in the target faster than I would have
thought possible. This is the pistol to have if you want to end a
gunfight at all costs. The gun is a keeper, and I find myself unable to
send it back "

[Pecos Bill]

And here I thought they wrote them on a computer.

Pecos

[TAB]

that sounds about right

[fightingquaker13]

ROFL! It reminds of an ROTC instructor I had in college. He was a  (slightly) crazy ex-Green beret Sergeant Major who was cadre as his sunset post. He said this: "You want to know what the difference between leg infantry and SF is? Its this. A leg officer is going to whine about being outnumbered, surrounded, and with sporadic communications. An SF officer will consider himself fortunate in that he is in a target rich environment with a 360 degree area of operations and with complete command autonomy".   As I said, crazy, (think Christopher Walken's drill sergeant from Biloxi Blues), but he never failed to entertain with the truth.
FQ13

[Magoo541]

ROFL! It reminds of an ROTC instructor I had in college. He was a  (slightly) crazy ex-Green beret Sergeant Major who was cadre as his sunset post. He said this: "You want to know what the difference between leg infantry and SF is? Its this. A leg officer is going to whine about being outnumbered, surrounded, and with sporadic communications. An SF officer will consider himself fortunate in that he is in a target rich environment with a 360 degree area of operations and with complete command autonomy".   As I said, crazy, (think Christopher Walken's drill sergeant from Biloxi Blues), but he never failed to entertain with the truth.
FQ13

LOL!  I've heard many versions of that situation but that is the best so far.  I feel like that at times, outnumbered, surrounded by idiots and noone is listening.  Swing a cat and they all scramble

[Sponsor]