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Author Topic: Classic joke thread...  (Read 1423391 times)

PegLeg45

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6100 on: July 13, 2025, 07:34:14 PM »
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"I expect perdition, I always have. I keep this building at my back, and several guns handy, in case perdition arrives in a form that's susceptible to bullets. I expect it will come in the disease form, though. I'm susceptible to diseases, and you can't shoot a damned disease." ~ Judge Roy Bean, Streets of Laredo

For the Patriots of this country, the Constitution is second only to the Bible for most. For those who love this country, but do not share my personal beliefs, it is their Bible. To them nothing comes before the Constitution of these United States of America. For this we are all labeled potential terrorists. ~ Dean Garrison

"When it comes to the enemy, just because they ain't pullin' a trigger, doesn't mean they ain't totin' ammo for those that are."~PegLeg

alfsauve

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6101 on: July 14, 2025, 03:07:18 PM »
Shot ICORE on Saturday
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Jim Kennedy-ar154me

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6102 on: July 17, 2025, 08:30:09 AM »
Funny song that may hit home for some of us.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFdtdVJYmxU
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The time for action is upon us and the enemy is at our gates. Let us not allow them one more inch of advancement but instead throw them through the gates of Hell.

Rastus

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6103 on: July 18, 2025, 06:11:08 AM »
Here you go Peg....some wife jokes.

My wife asked me, “Why don’t you treat me like you did when we were first dating!?” So I took her to dinner and a movie. Then dropped her off at her parent's house.

Husband: "I want a divorce. My wife hasn't spoken to me in six months."   Lawyer: "Think about it once again.  Wives like that are hard to find."

My ex divorced me because she said I treated her like a maid. But even the judge agreed that she should keep the house.

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Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom.
It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves.
-William Pitt, British Prime-Minister (1759-1806)
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alfsauve

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6104 on: July 19, 2025, 02:32:55 PM »
I knew it.
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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6105 on: Today at 10:43:01 AM »
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Rastus

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6105 on: July 19, 2025, 08:44:56 PM »
Now all we need is for Clara to show up and ask, "Where's the beef?" and who is at the home of the "big bun"?

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Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom.
It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves.
-William Pitt, British Prime-Minister (1759-1806)
                                                                                                                               Avoid subjugation, join the NRA!

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6106 on: July 19, 2025, 09:57:38 PM »
Quote from: Jim Kennedy-ar154me on July 17, 2025, 08:30:09 AM
Funny song that may hit home for some of us.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFdtdVJYmxU

I guess I'm fortunate to still not have OMBS (Old Man Balls Syndrome) in my mid-60s. At this rate I still wouldn't if I lived 1,000 years. My secret? No boxers my whole life, except in basic training where I had to wear them. In gym class at school, all of us wearing briefs didn't have to wear a jock, so I never even owned one. It's a good thing too. I would have gotten my older brother's hand-me-down like I did for the rest of my clothes. :o  And I never jumped out of a plane or bungee jumped, or anything else that would cause various body parts to come to a stop at different times.

Read at your own risk! There was one incident I'd rather forget that happened while riding my ATV in ~100 degree heat (a few years ago?). When I came down after hitting a big bump and my butt hit the seat, there was a slight amount of "interference". :(  When the air temperature is a few degrees above body temperature, there's a little slack. I know, TMI!
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6107 on: July 19, 2025, 10:00:20 PM »
When I was at my friend's cabin last week I took a picture of their dog, Thor, with the intention of making a pic like this out of it. They both liked it a lot. I have an idea for Sheba, but will have to get a picture of her from the right angle to do it.
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6108 on: Yesterday at 10:35:47 PM »
Someone must have been inspired by the Baby Shark song to get this tattoo too too too too of Mommy Shark.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqZsoesa55w
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

alfsauve

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6109 on: Today at 10:13:46 AM »
In breaking news:

Scientists have been able to alter the DNA of Dolphins and have raised one with legs.  PETA is up in arms and demands they remove those legs.  Scientists say that would de-feet the Porpoise.
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