President B. Hussein Omama announced today that he has been shown evidence that the Bush administration is responsible for the earthquake in Haiti. Press Secretary Robert Glibbs revealed that all the bombing in Iraq, ie "Shock and Awe" caused serious geological repercussions that resulted in the quakes. In a recent study by 30,000 VLPs (very liberal professors) the earth's strata reacted like "a giant Slinkey" and undulated westward toward the Atlantic Ridge where it found its way to Haiti. Glibbs could offer no explanation why the Dominican Republic was spared. Noble Prize winner Al Bore weighed in on the observation by saying, "Yeah, and that's why it's so warm in the Caribbean! In another press release today, the Omama administration announced another "unprecedented" (BHO's favorite word) move by his administration. Refugees from Haiti will be sent to Gitmo. Yes, this one is for real. To make room for the refugees, the current "residents", prisoners from the War on T...sorry, victims from the Man Made Incident in the Middle East, will be evicted. A spokesman for the, ahem, victims, Mohammed Hold the Salami said, "Hey, where are we supposed to go? We were here first! We aren't going to give up our three hots and a cot!" Glibbs revealed the Omama administration is also looking into allegations of the Bush involvement in the attack on Pearl Harbor. On the brighter side, we only have 3 more years to put up with this.
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