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Author Topic: Classic joke thread...  (Read 1364375 times)

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5170 on: November 20, 2018, 08:00:00 PM »
 :)  I had a bore-scope down my throat one day and another up my butt a week later. I never had one down my throat since but I think it was a smaller one. I always call them bore-scopes and I think most people get it.
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

les snyder

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5171 on: November 20, 2018, 10:06:10 PM »
I had an endoscopy and colonoscopy done at the same time... I told the Dr. there was an extra $5 in it for him if he did the endo first....he commented that he would have a new BMW for all the times he has been offered the same deal over the previous 20 years....
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Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5172 on: November 20, 2018, 10:59:28 PM »
When my appointment was scheduled for the esophagogastroduodenoscopy I realized right away why they always shorten it to EGD. My spellchecker doesn't have any spelling suggestions at all for that one, not even a wild guess.
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Solus

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5173 on: November 21, 2018, 11:44:36 AM »
Not a joke, but related to the colonoscopy procedure.  This is not recommend any longer.  The risk of internal damage outweighs any information that can be gained over a stool sample...very little to no additional information. 

My VA Dr. had a stool sample kit sent rather than schedule the procedure at my last due date.

The procedure will be needed if there are any bad indicators in the stool sample.   The concern is that Drs will continue to order the colonoscopy anyway because it is a lucrative procedure. 

Check out the info available and be ready to discuss it with your Dr. if they order one.
 
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les snyder

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5174 on: November 21, 2018, 10:27:38 PM »
Solus... thank you ... I had occluded blood from a benign polyp that was identified by a stool sample.... so far the last two 5 year colonoscopy follow ups have been negative

I don't have a family history, but have had 3 basal, and one squamous skin cancers removed
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Sponsor

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5175 on: Today at 04:07:54 PM »
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Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5175 on: November 22, 2018, 01:19:34 AM »
Quote from: Solus on November 21, 2018, 11:44:36 AM
Not a joke, but related to the colonoscopy procedure.  This is not recommend any longer.  The risk of internal damage outweighs any information that can be gained over a stool sample...very little to no additional information. 

My VA Dr. had a stool sample kit sent rather than schedule the procedure at my last due date.

The procedure will be needed if there are any bad indicators in the stool sample.   The concern is that Drs will continue to order the colonoscopy anyway because it is a lucrative procedure. 

Check out the info available and be ready to discuss it with your Dr. if they order one.

My stool samples didn't show any problems, but my doctor recommended I get a colonoscopy every 10 years. It's a good thing I got it too because I had 2 polyps removed. From what I read they always turn into cancer eventually, unless you die from something else first. I have to go back in 5 years instead of 10 now. After that if everything looks okay maybe it will be every 10 years again. If you're really old you don't need them anymore because it's a slow growing cancer and you'll probably die of old age before it gets very bad.

My brother has always been an @$$hole, but after he had his hemorrhoids removed he was a perfect @$$hole. :)
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

GASPASSERDELUXE

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5176 on: November 23, 2018, 12:00:19 PM »
I have been getting colonoscopys every 5 years since I was 37.There were pollyps taken out every  time since then and they were all negative. This year was no different (75) but when the doc called with the results he said when you turn 80 we will discuss weather you need another. I got the feeling he was thinking that I wouldn't be hanging around long enough after I reach 80, that is if I do.
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les snyder

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5177 on: November 23, 2018, 03:35:36 PM »
Gaspasser.... a similar/but different thing happened to me at the Ft Benning 3 gun match in 2008 (IIRC).... we shot the long range stage off a simulated shingled roof (wet) and I literally hung on with the vertical fore grip on one side of the peak, and the magazine on the other... after I finished, while walking back to my equipment, an Army Captain asked if he could speak with me... naturally I said sure Captain... and his reply was , Sir, how old are you?, and I replied that I was 61, and he thanked me... well for the rest of the year I went around telling people about it with pride( I had a good run on that stage) and then it occurred to me that I may have looked like I was going to die, and he didn't want some old fart screwing up his officer efficiency report.. :)
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PegLeg45

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5178 on: November 26, 2018, 07:00:47 PM »
 8)
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Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5179 on: November 27, 2018, 02:59:41 AM »
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher
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