Classic joke thread...

[alfsauve]

With my $600 I'm gettin A Salt Rifle

[Big Frank]

Got flies?

I had a phone appointment with my psychiatrist Tuesday. I told him how I had new gun parts and guns in various stages of repair all around the house. He approves of my hobby of surrounding myself with guns and working on them as therapy for depression. No joke, I just find it amusing, like that stimulus check meme amuses me. I know that meme applies to many of us, and it's the last chance to say F**k You Biden "at the government's expense" before he takes office. And don't forget to buy ammo or bullets, spare mags, or maybe even some optics if you have anything left of your $600.

[Majer]

Uh...It's our money that we gave to the government and they're giving a small amount of it back.

[Big Frank]

Uh...It's our money that we gave to the government and they're giving a small amount of it back.

Exactly. But at least The Crown saw fit to give us lowly peasants a share of our hard-earned dough.

[alfsauve]

This

[Sponsor]

[Timothy]

Uh...It's our money that we gave to the government and they're giving a small amount of it back.

More like our great, great grand kids money!  They spent the $700k I paid em already!

I don’t need it but I’ll take it anyway!  I’m living near the poverty line in retirement but I’m surviving...

[TAB]

I don't even want to think about the amount of money I have given them over the years.

[Timothy]

I don't even want to think about the amount of money I have given them over the years.

Yeah...  I’ve only made about $2,000,000 in my 50 years...a pittance in comparison!

[Jim Kennedy-ar154me]

And then there is this:

  The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation.  After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they should not interfere with God’s divine will.

At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistry.  The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistry and let the squirrels drown themselves.  The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.

The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creatures.  So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church.  Two weeks later, the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.

The Episcopalians tried a much more unique path by setting out pans of whiskey around their church in an effort to kill the squirrels with alcohol poisoning.  They sadly learned how much damage a band of drunk squirrels can do.

But the Catholic church came up with a more creative strategy!  They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church.  Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue.  They took the first squirrel and circumcised him.  They haven’t seen a squirrel since

[PegLeg45]