Author Topic: Pumpkin Sex  (Read 5047 times)

Bic

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Pumpkin Sex
« on: October 29, 2013, 12:27:25 PM »
Police work can be entertaining as well as dangerous.
 
Recently, a female sheriff's deputy arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22 year old white male, who was fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of a field at night. The next day, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency and public intoxication.
 
The suspect explained that he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop. 'You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles, or at least I thought there was no one around' he stated.
 
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need. 'Guess I was really into it, y'know?' he commented with evident embarrassment.
 
In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching sheriff's car and was unaware of his audience until Deputy Brenda Taylor approached him.
 
'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Deputy Taylor. 'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just humping away at this pumpkin.'
 
Deputy Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence ...
 
'I said: 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?'
 
He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said:
 
'A pumpkin? Damn ... is it midnight already ?'
 
The court (and the judge) could not contain their laughter. Lawrence was found guilty only of public intoxication, fined $10. and sent on his way.
 
Best Wishes, Mike.

lhprop1

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Re: Pumpkin Sex
« Reply #1 on: October 29, 2013, 02:32:44 PM »
With the way they dress, sometimes those pumpkins are just asking for it. 
Bravery and stupidity are often synonymous.  So are cowardice and intelligence.

"We Americans have been a rebellious band of freedom loving vagabonds from the very beginning. Our freedom from the crown and tyranny would not exist had it not been for the gun. That's a tradition we like to hold on to.  The same can't be said for the rest of you 'Subjects of the Queen'."--said to a Canadian friend who just doesn't get it.

dipisc

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Re: Pumpkin Sex
« Reply #2 on: October 29, 2013, 02:53:00 PM »
Hi,

     Do you have a link to this story, I'd like to share it with people in other forums ?

Big Frank

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Re: Pumpkin Sex
« Reply #3 on: October 29, 2013, 03:26:36 PM »
He put the "pump" in pumpkin.
""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Solus

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Re: Pumpkin Sex
« Reply #4 on: October 29, 2013, 03:51:32 PM »
Hi,

     Do you have a link to this story, I'd like to share it with people in other forums ?

It's a funny story...got me laughing...but if you share it with folks, share it as a joke.

http://www.snopes.com/risque/caught/pumpkin.asp
Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!"
—Patrick Henry

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— Daniel Webster

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Re: Pumpkin Sex
« Reply #5 on: Today at 11:03:16 PM »

bulldog75

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Re: Pumpkin Sex
« Reply #5 on: October 29, 2013, 10:57:20 PM »
Yes cops see this stuff all the time. One of my fellow officers was dispatched to a man having sex with a fire hydrant.
Citizens sleep peacfully at night knowing that rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf - George Orwell

lhprop1

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Re: Pumpkin Sex
« Reply #6 on: October 30, 2013, 10:16:10 AM »
Yes cops see this stuff all the time. One of my fellow officers was dispatched to a man having sex with a fire hydrant.

The ergonomics of this confuses me greatly. 
Bravery and stupidity are often synonymous.  So are cowardice and intelligence.

"We Americans have been a rebellious band of freedom loving vagabonds from the very beginning. Our freedom from the crown and tyranny would not exist had it not been for the gun. That's a tradition we like to hold on to.  The same can't be said for the rest of you 'Subjects of the Queen'."--said to a Canadian friend who just doesn't get it.

 

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