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Author Topic: I lost it  (Read 5171 times)

unique

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I lost it
« on: July 28, 2008, 07:14:24 PM »
When I was in my twenties and thirties I wore medium shirts and 32/32 pants, then forty hit. It hit like a freight train.  All of a sudden I needed large shirts and 34/32 pants.  Slowly my pant size grew, and my legs shrunk.  Finally a couple of years ago I had enough, I was wearing 36/30 pants.  I was worried that if I kept going, by the time I got to a 40 waist, my butt would be dragging on the ground.
That's when I found out about healthy food.  That's food that doesn't taste like anything, but it's really good for you.  No more potato chips, I really miss potato chips.  Now I'm healthy, my pant size is 34/32, my BMI ( I'm also learning a new language) is right on.  But there is a problem.  Somewhere along the line I lost my butt
I don't know when it happened, after all, it's not like I can see it.  It's just that my pants won't stay up, and if I put a gun belt on, I can't walk ten feet without both the gun belt and my pants falling down.
My wife tells me I don't have a butt.  “Don't you look in a mirror?”  Hell no I don't, well not at my butt at least.  I don't know who had the bright idea of putting a mirror in front of the bathroom sink.  And then there's that old guy who lives in the mirror.  We must be related because he kind of looks like me, only older.
I really can't remember loosing my butt, but then I can't remember what I did yesterday, so I probably did loose it.
Years ago, when I wore dress pants, they used to have ridges of some kind of silicone running around the inside of the waistband to help keep your shirt in.  Maybe I could run lines of silicone around my waist to keep my pants up.  A butt implant?  Probably not.
I really wish I could wear a gun belt again.  It looks really silly wearing a gun belt with suspenders on it.
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tumblebug

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Re: I lost it
« Reply #1 on: July 28, 2008, 07:42:43 PM »
 BIG BELLY NO BUT STILL KICKING +1
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SwoopSJ

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Re: I lost it
« Reply #2 on: July 28, 2008, 10:31:26 PM »
You should try a prosthetic derriere like good 'ol Hank Hill.  Yes, I am a grown man and I still watch some cartoons!  I am not a liberal, however, so at least I have that going for me. ;D

Swoop


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gunman1911

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Re: I lost it
« Reply #3 on: July 29, 2008, 08:40:39 AM »
It seem as if thou  my butt went to my belly! But thats ok because somtimes when I get to lay on the couch my greatgrandson luses it for a pillow and as long as he's happy and conrent thats cool with me.
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shooter32

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Re: I lost it
« Reply #4 on: July 29, 2008, 08:58:05 AM »
 ??? Maybe you can come up with a new gun-belt for us guys with no A$$es? ;D
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Sponsor

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Re: I lost it
« Reply #5 on: Today at 07:07:30 AM »
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2HOW

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Re: I lost it
« Reply #5 on: July 29, 2008, 05:01:01 PM »
Dont kid yourself your a big ass  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D  jk had to do that / :-X
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Rob10ring

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Re: I lost it
« Reply #6 on: July 29, 2008, 05:21:42 PM »
You might be losing muscle back there. Time for some squats.
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unique

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Re: I lost it
« Reply #7 on: July 29, 2008, 06:59:38 PM »
Quote from: Fuzdaddy on July 29, 2008, 05:21:42 PM
You might be losing muscle back there. Time for some squats.
Squats??? you mean like when you get down on the ground and then try to get back up again?
Seriously, you may be right, never thought of that.
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Big Frank

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Re: I lost it
« Reply #8 on: July 30, 2008, 09:00:45 PM »
Quote from: SwoopSJ on July 28, 2008, 10:31:26 PM
You should try a prosthetic derriere like good 'ol Hank Hill.  Yes, I am a grown man and I still watch some cartoons!  I am not a liberal, however, so at least I have that going for me. ;D

Swoop



There's nothing wrong with watching cartoons, but most adults feel silly and get apologetic when they admit they watch them. The general public has the misconception that cartoons are for kids only. Cartoons were originally made for adults and later on they started making kids cartoons. Some of those are just 30 minute toy commercials, but other cartoons aren't strictly kid stuff. If you re-watch old ones like Bugs Bunny there's a lot of stuff that went over our heads as kids, and my dad even liked watching the roadrunner and coyote. The Simpsons is one of the top 10 longest running TV shows of all time. They already made twice as many episodes as All In The Family, and that was on for 8 YEARS. If anyone thinks cartoons are for kids they must have never seen an episode of Family Guy.

So far I haven't lost my butt, but my belly is so big it pushes the front of my belt and pants down. That's just as bad when you strap on a gun belt. Maybe my butt migrated to the front???
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Mojave Desert

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Re: I lost it
« Reply #9 on: July 30, 2008, 09:31:30 PM »
It's Shoulder Holster time!
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