Howdy from Iowa!!!

[tt11758]

Rules of IOWA
1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Let's get this straight; it's called a 'gravel road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
3. They are cattle. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-80 goes east and west, I-29 & I-35 go north and south. Pick one.
           
4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of ducks are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
7. Yeah, we eat Iowa pork chops & corn on the cob. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
8. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.



10. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.
11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup!!
12. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
13. College and high school basketball is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.
15. Colleges? Try Iowa State University , University of Iowa , or University of Northern Iowa . They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come for the holidays.
16. We have lots of folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines, so 'Don't Mess with Iowa '. If you do, you will get whipped by the best.

Iowa is the greatest state ever!!

[Pathfinder]

Iowa is the greatest state ever!!

Well, it is in the top 50, that's for sure!   



Why do they use astroturf in all of the stadiums in Iowa


















So the cheerleaders won't graze.


Sorry, a guy from Nebraska told me that. Lord, please forgive me and be with all of the pygmies in Africa. Amen.

[Trevor]

I lived in Mason City, IA as a kid.  About half of my family is buried in the cemetary on S. Federal.  I delivered the Des Moines Register along a route on S. Monroe (between 1st NW & what was then Highway 18).  Iowa winters are an acquired taste, to put it mildly.  I would live there again were it not for the winters.  BTW, when are you going to improve the gun laws there?  For starters, a shall-issue CCW system would be nice. 

[tt11758]

I lived in Mason City, IA as a kid.  About half of my family is buried in the cemetary on S. Federal.  I delivered the Des Moines Register along a route on S. Monroe (between 1st NW & what was then Highway 18).  Iowa winters are an acquired taste, to put it mildly.  I would live there again were it not for the winters.  BTW, when are you going to improve the gun laws there?  For starters, a shall-issue CCW system would be nice. 

The shall-issue thing was tried in the legislature last year, but failed because a group of whiney-ass sheriffs were afraid of losing some of their power.

And you're right, winters here ARE an acquired taste.  I wouldn't be experiencing them if I wasn't too friggin poor to spend these months elsewhere.

[Fatman]

The shall-issue thing was tried in the legislature last year, but failed because a group of whiney-ass sheriffs were afraid of losing some of their power.

And you're right, winters here ARE an acquired taste.  I wouldn't be experiencing them if I wasn't too friggin poor to spend these months elsewhere.

I hear de-elected whiney-ass sheriffs have NO power.

[Sponsor]

[tt11758]

I hear de-elected whiney-ass sheriffs have NO power.

WHile that is true, these assholes become Sheriff-For-Life once they're elected in this state.

Our County has a REALLY good Sheriff, but not so all over.

Personally I don't understand why CCW's aren't honored by every state like DL's are.  Would make life SO much simpler.

[PegLeg45]

WHile that is true, these assholes become Sheriff-For-Life once they're elected in this state.

Our County has a REALLY good Sheriff, but not so all over.

Personally I don't understand why CCW's aren't honored by every state like DL's are.  Would make life SO much simpler.

And therein lies the rub. The bureaucrats don't want simple. It would put their sorry asses out of work.