The Down Range Forum
Member Section => Down Range Cafe => Topic started by: RTFM on November 28, 2011, 06:27:06 PM
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Bump goes the sound in the car port Saturday night.
Click goes the motion light.
Into the hand goes the Ruger Security 6 .357 Magnum (closest gun at hand)
Skitter I go down the hallway to get the brightest search light I own (night stand)
Charge goes me to the front door.
Stop short was I by wife in kitchen - hand up arm outstretched.
Where do you think your going? ! Says she.
Outside to investigate says I!
No your not! Says she.
um......... (click - dim light in my squash starts to flicker)
Where is it safer right now? Says she.
Inside where we know is secure - or out there where we have no clue - who what where when why how?
um........(Ding! We have a winner)
Don't you hate it when they may have saved your life?!
- Turns out - tom cat knocks over a cd tower we have in storage in the car port.
Thinking is still our best security too we poses people...... even when it takes someone else to do it for us.
I love her dearly - just don't let her know......
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Sounds like a keeper to me (the wife, not the cat). ;D General rule of thumb, let them come to you, unless there is good reson to do otherwise. Better to have them walking through a doorway when you know they are coming, rather than the reverse. Besides, it cuts down on legal fees.
FQ13
who is glad things worked out
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The worst thing about them being right is they'll NEVER let you forget it!!
When they're wrong, however................................
Had the following conversation with my wife today, when she returned from the insurance agent's office:
Her: "Well, you were right about the premium payment method."
Me: "What was that?"
Her: "I said you were right about the premium payment method. Didn't you hear me?"
Me: "I heard you just fine, I just REALLY wanted to hear it again."
Her: "Blow me."
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And the obvious response of, " An excellent idea my darling, after you" seems like it might irritate M'lette. ;D
FQ13
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And the obvious response of, " An excellent idea my darling, after you" seems like it might irritate M'lette. ;D
FQ13
Not sure about M'ette, but I KNOW it would irritate Miss Kathy!! I haven't stayed alive married this long by being THAT damn stupid!! ;D
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Never reply with "whip it out"
it makes them MAD!
;D
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Don't you hate it when there right?
Not half as much as they hate it when you're right ;D
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House Rules!
1. The wife is always RIGHT!
2. When the wife is wrong refer to #1 above!!!!!
Richard
PS: FWIW, I strongly agree w/tom but don't tell my wife.
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House Rules!
1. The wife is always RIGHT!
2. When the wife is wrong refer to #1 above!!!!!
Richard
PS: FWIW, I strongly agree w/tom but don't tell my wife.
Look at it this way. When you were single you did far worse things than obeying the house rules to get laid. You still win. ;D
FQ13
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Look at it this way. When you were single you did far worse things than obeying the house rules to get laid. You still win. ;D
FQ13
Speak for yourself!
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Now this is why a married man is so much luckier than a single man.
A single man might make a mistake and never know he made it.
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Now this is why a married man is so much luckier than a single man.
A single man might make a mistake and never know he made it.
I don't know about that Solus. I once had a gorgeous, 6' blonde give a right cross as a reminder of my stupidity! It was the only time I've been knocked on my ass!
;D
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I don't know about that Solus. I once had a gorgeous, 6' blonde give a right cross as a reminder of my stupidity! It was the only time I've been knocked on my ass!
;D
Did you manage to keep her?
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Did you manage to keep her?
For a time, yes! I was a young man then of merely 22 or so, she was a tad bit older and we worked together for several years. It was one of many, many, many girlfriends I've had over the years while fishing for the "one"!
My wife of 28 years is 5' nothing and a brunette. She doesn't have the reach!
;D
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It's not lhe left hook I worry about, it's the left foot to the B...S, or the right!
Richard
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It's not lhe left hook I worry about, it's the left foot to the B...S, or the right!
Richard
She was just pissed Richard! She didn't want me out of commission for the nights make up sex!
;)
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I don't hate it when they're right, I hate it when they know they're right!
BTW I've only been hit once by a woman (that I remember) and I laughed at her. Granted it was my first wife and she was leaving me and our three kids but she wound up and hit me with the phone in her hand with all she had. Would have taken a hit ten times harder if I'd known that was the end of her BS ;D
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For a time, yes! I was a young man then of merely 22 or so, she was a tad bit older and we worked together for several years. It was one of many, many, many girlfriends I've had over the years while fishing for the "one"!
My wife of 28 years is 5' nothing and a brunette. She doesn't have the reach!
;D
Mine is 5' 8", has a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, and knows not only when and where I sleep, but also the combination to the gun safe.
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Mine is 5' 8", has a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, and knows not only when and where I sleep, but also the combination to the gun safe.
You are soooo screwed. ;D
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Mine is 5' 8", has a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, and knows not only when and where I sleep, but also the combination to the gun safe.
Its not the gun safe you need to worry about, its the kitchen knives. To quote Louis Carrol "The Vorpal blade goes snicker snack". Just ask John Wayne Bobbit. ;D
FQ13
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Its not the gun safe you need to worry about, its the kitchen knives. To quote Louis Carrol "The Vorpal blade goes snicker snack". Just ask John Wayne Bobbit. ;D
FQ13
FQ, Most of the guys here if they met a Jabberwok would try to find a recipe for it.
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mine is a expert in the use of extremely sharp objects, and knows the humen body very well.
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mine is a expert in the use of extremely sharp objects, and knows the humen body very well.
Cool!! Someone more screwed than me!! ;D
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Its not the gun safe you need to worry about, its the kitchen knives. To quote Louis Carrol "The Vorpal blade goes snicker snack". Just ask John Wayne Bobbit. ;D
FQ13
I'm not too worried about that. She has expressed appreciation for the minor appendages on various occasions. ;D
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FQ, Most of the guys here if they met a Jabberwok would try to find a recipe for it.
Probably tastes like owl. ;)
;D
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Naw, more like a west indian manatee