you might be a redneck if...

[MikeBjerum]

In Redneckdom, "availability" overrides complication.............As in, "Why borrow a 10' step-ladder from the neighbor when I can stack an old ottoman on top of a coffee table, on top of 4 milk crates, on top of four 55 gallon drums.........

And this bit of wisdom brought to you by our very own "Lucky the three legged dog" 

For furture reference I have the how to's of unhooking a grain trailer; fixing a garage door spring and cable; moving metal sheeting in wind gusts; getting down from a 20' grain bin very fast; parking a car between sign posts, against a tree and on its roof (suspension work without a hoist you know  ) ; trimming a mustache with a carberator backfire; checking for a fuel leak with a light; locating faulty wiring in a house (requires use of a fire marshal); and the multiple uses of any tool every made.  I will throw in at now extra charge the how to's of dialing 911 with remaining body parts, as well as a multitude of doctors, surgeons and specialists that have me made me the man I am today ... ok ... maybe not the best claim to fame they have, but I am still here  it's either hang around or lay in that box and dream of my wife's new husband enjoying my toys and the life insurance money

If you enjoy volume one you will want to watch for the sequel Exploring Polarity: And other fun with electricity, and currently in development Flash Points:  So that is why they include them in MSDS.

[nupe]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWsQWtmL6Ds

You know the one bad thing about this video is that they stole my idea.  A buddy and I use to lay water and sewer mains for a living for a local company.  We use to think that since a Cat 375 track hoe has about 6 foot to the bottom of the cab, you could track it out to the middle of a stock damn and that would make one heck of a ride.  I guess they just proved us right.   

[Big Frank]

That picture left me speechless for awhile.

[tt11758]

it's either hang around or lay in that box and dream of my wife's new husband enjoying my toys and the life insurance money

Reminds me of the day after my first heart "episode".  The wife was sitting beside the hospital bed, crying softly.  I told her not to worry, that I would not be dying.  I told her that, "I can accept the fact that some other guy would be helping you spend my money.  I can even live with the idea that you'd be sleeping with him.  But you'd probably let the SOB ride my motorcycle, and THAT is simply unacceptable!!"

She was not amused.

[Jackel]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fBiFNk11oc
http://www.lilligren.com/Redneck/300_reasons_redneck.htm

[Sponsor]

[alfsauve]

Occum was definitely not a redneck.