As technology has evolved and made ammo better; sure +P at it's higher pressures will cause more "wear and tear" on any pistol. The good news is, for SD carry, +P is fine. For the range, standard ammo is more than adequate. I would even state that standard pressure JHP's in .38 would suffice for a carry or a home defense SD round.
An email to S&W will clear any of your very rational concerns danmjones. Welcome to to DRTV, glad your here.