Going on a Cruise

[Solus]

 


 
    
 L u x u r y    C r u i s e    L i n e s   Now Accepting Reservations! Additional cruise information available below.
 
 
 
To The Point Cruise Lines is excited to offer the ultimate adventure cruise, along the pirate-infested coast of Somalia !
 
Ultimate Adventure Cruise Route   Rates and Availability
    
    Ship Name   Starting Price   Days   Availability
 Sun Splendor   $5,200.00   5   Fully Booked
 Grand Voyage   $6,150.00   7   Reservations Available
 Horizons IV   $7,091.00   10   Reservations Available
 Horizons III   $5,200.00   7   Fully Booked
 Grand Voyage II   $6,300.00   7   Fully Booked
 Grand Voyage III   $5,200.00   5   Reservations Available
 Coastal Paradise   $5,200.00   7   Reservations Available
 Coastal Paradise II   $8,200.00   10   Reservations Available
 Peril Princess   $5,200.00   7   Fully Booked
 Peril Princess II   $5,200.00   7   Reservations Available

 
We board our luxury cruise ships in Djibouti on the Gulf of Aden near the entrance to the Red Sea, and disembark in Mombasa , Kenyaseven adrenaline-charged days later. Reservations start at only $5,200 per-person (double occupancy, inside room) and $6,900 (verandah complete with bench rest).
 
    You'll relax like never before!
   That's because you are welcome to bring your own arsenal with you. If you don't have your own weapons, you can rent them from our onboard
Master Gunsmith. Enjoy reloading parties every afternoon with skeet and marksmanship competitions every night!

But the best fun of all, of course, is...
 
...Pirate Target Practice!
 
 
The object of our cruise is to sail up and down the Somali Coast waiting to get hijacked by pirates!
Weapons rentals:   

 
Weapon Selection   Price   Description
AK-47 Light Assault    $12.00
Per Day   On a budget? Rent a full-auto scope-mounted AK-47 for only $9/day with 7.62 ball ammo at $12 per 100 rounds:
M-16 Full  Automatic   $25.00
Per Day   Rent a full auto M-16 for only $25/day with ammo attractively priced at $16 per 100 rounds of 5.56 armor-piercing:
Barrett M-107 50 Caliber    $59.00
Per Day   Hello! Nothing gets a pirate's       attention like a Barrett M-107 50-cal sniper rifle; only $59/day with 25 rounds of armor-piercing ammo affordably priced at only $29.95.
RPG Launcher    $175.00
Per Day   Want to make a real impact?       Rent an RPG for only $175/day with three fragmentation rounds included! A true favorite among pirates, rent one today and show you care!
   Customer Testimonials
 
"Six attacks in 4 days were more than I expected. I bagged three pirates, my wife nailed two, and my 12-year old son sank two boats with the mini-gun.
This wonderful cruise was fun for the whole family"-- Fred D., Cincinnati , OH
"Pirates 0, Passengers 32! Well worth the trip! Can't recommend it highly enough!" -- Ben L., Bethesda ,MD

 
 
 
BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!
Twin mounted mini-guns are available for rental at only $450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire!   
 
Additional Cruise Line Services
•   Need a spotter? Our professional crew members can double as spotters for only $30/hour.
(spotting scope included, but gratuities are not)
•   Also included: Free complimentary night vision equipment - and throughout the night, coffee, pastries and snacks are always available on the main deck from 7pm until 6am
•   Our deluxe package comes complete with gourmet meals and all rooms offer a mini-bar
 
OUR SATISFACTION GUARANTEE!
 
    We guarantee you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or you'll receive an instant $1,000 refund upon arrival in Mombasa ..   
How can we make that guarantee? We operate at 5 knots just beyond 12 nautical miles off the coast of Somalia , thus in international waters where pirates have no rights whatever. In fact, we make three passes through the area's most treacherous waters to ensure maximum visibility by Somali "mother ships."
We repeat this for five days, making three complete passes past the entire Somali Coast . At night, the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot every five
minutes with loud disco music directionally beamed shore side to attract maximum attention.
 
ACT NOW!
Cabin space is limited so you need to respond quickly. Reserve your package before May 31st
and get a great bonus - 100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the caliber of your choice! So sign up for the Ultimate SomaliCoast Adventure Cruise now!
 
BUT THERE'S EVEN MORE!   
    Reserve now and be automatically entered to win a 5 minute time slot on the Captain's own Twin Browning 50 Caliber M2HB installation!   
"I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in ' Nam . Don't worry about getting shot by pirates... they never even got close to the ship with the crap they shoot and their lousy aim... Come on board and bag your own clutch of genuine Somali pirates!" -- Mike W., Savannah , GA

"Holy crap! I mean literally, I crapped myself! This gun shook the deck like thunder, and I was laughing so hard I just had to release it. AWESOME!-- Jim W., Tampa , FL

   

 
 

 

Is this serious?  I did find this link   http://www.tothepointnews.com/content/view/3617/85/

[fightingquaker13]

Sort of serious. What the post doesn't say is that its FREE! Yep, that's right FREE! No ammo charges and all meals comped. The only cost is a four year hitch in the Navy.
Sory, I couldn't help myself
FQ13

[Solus]

Sort of serious. What the post doesn't say is that its FREE! Yep, that's right FREE! No ammo charges and all meals comped. The only cost is a four year hitch in the Navy.
Sory, I couldn't help myself
FQ13

LOL

No one likes a Smart Alec 

[Michael Janich]

One of my MBC instructors in Ohio has done a number of cruises and has done some training for the cruise line security staff. His standard carry is a good tactical flashlight and a stout pen or Cold Steel Sharkie marker. The tactics he trained are basically those taught in my DVD "Forever Armed," which focuses on improvised weapons selection and use.

Most cruise lines prohibit the carry of knives. Check the policy for your line to find out the rules.

If you want to "work around" the rules, you could look into non-ferrous knives, like titanium, G-10, or nylon. They're harder to detect on X-rays and magnetometers.

Crook-top canes are more convenient for some users because they can be hooked on your arm when not in use. For example, going down the buffet line. Hook it on your arm and "graze" with both hands. They also offer a few unique techniques that don't work with straight/knobbed sticks. My favorite is grabbing the shaft of the stick with both palms facing down. Raise the hook, nestle the tip just behind the bad guy's collarbone, then drop your weight and pull.

With all that said, I also prefer straight sticks...

Stay safe,

Mike

[Breck Schneider]

No real advice on the knife issue... but a hooked wooden cane is probably the best defensive tool you could take on a cruise ship.

-RJP

Rob,

Where are hooked wooden canes similar to the ones at Valhalla available?

[Sponsor]

[Michael Janich]

Rob,

Where are hooked wooden canes similar to the ones at Valhalla available?

The Valhalla canes were made my Canemasters: http://www.canemasters.com/

Stay safe,

Mike

[bafsu92]

I just came back from a Disney Cruise and carried my Benchmade Presidio automatic the entire time without a 2nd look. I guess it depends on the cruise line. Worst case get one of those Lansky knives made of polymer. You can actually put a fairly sharp edge on them considering there's no metal involved. The point is definitely sharp enough for thrusting attacks. I never fly without one of those and my Cold Steel  mini koga.