Activists Missing After Declaring “War on Leather” at Motorcycle Rally

[philw]

http://glossynews.com/society/201001070305/activists-missing-after-declaring-war-on-leather-at-motorcycle-rally/#more-4248

Johnstown, PA (GlossyNews) – Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers “duct taped inside several fast food restaurant dumpsters,” according to police officials.
“Something just went wrong,” said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest. “Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong.”
The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activist groups, “growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur coats,” decided to protest the annual motorcycle club event “in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats.” “In fact,” said the organizer, “motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it…ergo, they should stop.”
According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage 1960’s era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members with balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting “you’re murderers” to passers by. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha began.
“They peed on me!!!” charged one activist. “They grabbed me, said I looked like I was French, started calling me ‘La Trene’, and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!”
“I…I was trying to show my outrage at a man with a heavy leather jacket, and he…he didn’t even care. I called him a murderer, and all he said was, ‘You can’t prove that.’ Next thing I know he forced me to ride on the back of his motorcycle all day, and would not let me off, because his girl friend was out of town and I was almost a woman.”
Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers “farted on their heads.”
Police officials declined comments on any leads or arrests due to the ongoing nature of the investigation, however, organizers for the motorcycle club rally expressed “surprise” at the allegations.
“That’s preposterous,” said one high-ranking member of the biker organizing committee. “We were having a party, and these people showed up and were very rude to us. They threw things at us, called us names, and tried to ruin the entire event. So, what did we do? We invited them to the party! What could be more friendly than that? You know, just because we are all members of motorcycle clubs does not mean we do not care about inclusiveness. Personally, I think it shows a lack of character for them to be saying such nasty things about us after we bent over backwards to make them feel welcome.”
When confronted with the allegations of force-feeding the activists meat, using them as ad hoc latrines, leaving them incapacitated in fast food restaurant dumpsters, and ‘farting on their heads,’ the organizer declined to comment in detail. “That’s just our secret handshake,” assured the organizer.

hahaha  love it

[bulldog75]

Now that was funny. 

[PegLeg45]

Wouldn't life have been a lot easier if they'd just sat down and had a nice steak?   

[JC5123]

I'm kinda surprised that the bikers were as nice as they were. Must not have been any of the hard core gangs there. 

Reminds me of when PETA showed up here to protest the Platte River Anglers because trout feel pain. I thought it was brilliant for them to come and protest on the 1st of October. There was a big article after the protest saying that we tried to intimidate the rally because everyone they saw was wearing camouflage and had a gun.  Apparently no one told them that it's was opening day of hunting season.

[texcaliber]

I'm kinda surprised that the bikers were as nice as they were. Must not have been any of the hard core gangs there.  Roll Eyes

I agree but for other reasons. PETA and other animal 'rights' extremists are known as true "homeland terrorists" and would of been treated as if BinLaden sent them himself. Especially if that dyed water got on their bikes, never mind their gang colors.

When hard core bikers get neutered by the media/government whats next??? This just may be another sigh of the Apocalypse.

tex

[Sponsor]

[Big Frank]

LOL. "Farted on their heads." "Secret handshake." 

[usmcdadx2]

Glossy News is pretty much a satire news site so I'm putting this one down as "nope it didn't happen but sure would have been nice if it did". They had a story one time about the "tragedy" when a fallen Marine's 90 year old Grandma accidentally ran over those Westboro idiots on her way to the funeral...if only it were true.

[twyacht]

That must be the 200mph duct tape,...

Personally, I think it shows a lack of character for them to be saying such nasty things about us after we bent over backwards to make them feel welcome.”

See, bikers can play nice, and what do they get,....  

[Rob10ring]

Wouldn't life have been a lot easier if they'd just sat down and had a nice steak?   

A Steak Summit?

[philw]

I agree but for other reasons. PETA and other animal 'rights' extremists are known as true "homeland terrorists" and would of been treated as if BinLaden sent them himself. Especially if that dyed water got on their bikes, never mind their gang colors.

When hard core bikers get neutered by the media/government whats next??? This just may be another sigh of the Apocalypse.

tex

look up ALF then   Animal Liberation Front and Rod Coronado