Oh M'ette...
There is no one here of whom you need to ask to excuse you for not being here.
There is no one here who does not hurt for you for what you are going through.
There is no one here who does not wish they could somehow take some of your pain and make things better for you.
There is no one here who doesn't wish that you will be given alll the strength and comfort you need for this and who would not give you as much of their strength as they could.
You don't need to worry about us here...just know we are with you.