I need some advice...

[TAB]

Ok long story short, one of my family members had her kids removed... 

Well now they are going up for adoption, They are two girls ages 2 and 3.  My mother is going to adopted them...

But I know she can not handle them, now and in the future.  She will be 70 when they are in HS for example.  She is currently living on about 1/2 a lung.

I have made my feelings known to my mother(which every one else in the family feels the same).

Do I voice my IMO to court/socail workers or not?  What would you do?

[tombogan03884]

Who is most likely to wind up having to take up where she can't do it. That would be the person to discuss it with . If their OK with it let em go for it.

[TAB]

no one, they would revert to wards of the county.

[MikeBjerum]

An issue her is the family member herself.  If the situation is so bad as to lose the kids, and it appears you aren't fighting that, I wonder if someone in the family adopting is the best for the children.  As hard as it is to lose close family in a situation it may be best to cut the losses while they are young, and let a good family give them the best opportunity.

Just my thoughts with limited information, but as a parent who adopted two children I am biased and our children speak openly about their thankfulness as well.

[tombogan03884]

Only other question is how PO'd do you want your relatives ?
Your Mom will be peeved, because  you went against her.
At least some of your relatives will be peeved because you went against her wishes, whether they were reasonable or not.  

[Sponsor]

[TAB]

An issue her is the family member herself.  If the situation is so bad as to lose the kids, and it appears you aren't fighting that, I wonder if someone in the family adopting is the best for the children.  As hard as it is to lose close family in a situation it may be best to cut the losses while they are young, and let a good family give them the best opportunity.

Just my thoughts with limited information, but as a parent who adopted two children I am biased and our children speak openly about their thankfulness as well.

trust me, getting the kids removed was a good thing.

[fightingquaker13]

OK. Let me state for the record I am the last person you should listen to here (ignore the amen chorus). I'm not geared for kids. I think of them like cats. I enjoy other people's, but I don't want to own one.
That said the only thing that matters is what is in the best interest of those two little girls. Will the girls be kept toghther if kept in foster care? Can a good adoptive family be found? If not, and I hate to say this, but if not, why aren't you and your doctor wife stepping up? I don't mean to be rude here. I also don't want to sound self righteous and I've made it plain what my views on kids are. Still, blood is thicker than water and sometimes a man has to do what a man has to do. I might not want kids, but if any of my little cousins needed a home? Damn straight I'd be going to PTA meetings and soccer games. It ain't easy, or wanted, but those kids are your blood. Once they're gone, they're gone. What would you have wanted to happen in their shoes? I feel like an asshole for typing this TAB, but honestly? This is one of those gut check moments. My Advice is to turn off the computer and have a long talk with your wife. Honestly evaluate whether you can do right by them. Are there friends and family members who will help? Can you look yourself in the eye if you don't step up?Thats the one question only you can answer.
FQ13 who sincerly apologizes for this post, but I felt that it had to be said.
Peace

[tombogan03884]

FQ, I hear you, but chill.
TAB has never been one of my favorite people, but he has always seemed like an Honorable man, I assume there are other circumstances that are none of our public business, that limit the possible choices.

[fightingquaker13]

FQ, I hear you, but chill.
TAB has never been one of my favorite people, but he has always seemed like an Honorable man, I assume there are other circumstances that are none of our public business, that limit the possible choices.

Agreed on TABS honor. I wasn't questioning it. TAB, If it came off that way I sincerly apologize. I never intended to dump a heap of crap in your life, much les judge you. It ain't my place and God knlows you've gone through enough the last year or so. Still, life sometimes sucks. Something both our unemployed asses know all too well. Sometimes we have to face circumstances that would freak anyone out. I don't know what the right thing to do here is. If I did, I'd be priest not a prof (and probably still have a job). Still, this is a tough call Tom, one no asked for, but there it is.
FQ13 who is not judging anyone here

[tombogan03884]

Agreed on TABS honor. I wasn't questioning it. TAB, If it came off that way I sincerly apologize. I never intended to dump a heap of crap in your life, much les judge you. It ain't my place and God knlows you've gone through enough the last year or so. Still, life sometimes sucks. Something both our unemployed asses know all too well. Sometimes we have to face circumstances that would freak anyone out. I don't know what the right thing to do here is. If I did, I'd be priest not a prof (and probably still have a job). Still, this is a tough call Tom, one no asked for, but there it is.
FQ13 who is not judging anyone here

To true. TAB has had more than his share of crap in the last year or so.