If you want an adult perspective, tell the kids to shut up and give a listen.
The boat starts losing money the minute you close on it. Yeah, it's fun to watch nekkid women bouncing around the foredeck (I am a licensed captain with more years on boats than you have on earth, so I know of which I speak) but, you are a married man and you know which one you're gonna end up with. Do you really want to have to answer the question, "Do you think her tits are better than mine, honey" while your are sweating out four quarts of margaritas after a day in the hot sun?
The lathe is a work related item that you can buy and claim on your taxes, so it really ain't in the equation.
The gun is the ONLY thing on your list that even makes sense.
Sheesh, Tab... Grow up and think like you know how to do it.